Page 70 of For the Love of Lily

“Shh, stay with me until the end,” Luke smiled as he spoke. “Then we’d go for a moonlit stroll. I’d ask you to marry me and be mine always. Back home, we’d realise we didn’t want a massive wedding with all the frills. Instead, we’d go somewhere beautiful, maybe mountains, or perhaps a deserted beach, just the two of us. We’d say our vows, swap our rings. I’d sob like an idiot, knowing I was the luckiest guy on the planet.”

I kissed him, full of love, before letting him continue. “We’d spend maybe two years enjoying life together, filled with an abundance of love and hope, travelling whenever we could. I can’t lie, there’d be a lot of sex, like an X-rated, ridiculous amount of sex, and you’d need to prepare yourself,” he grinned, and I laughed with him.

“That would, of course, end up with my favourite image of you and me at home together, me stroking your beautiful, pregnant belly. You’d think you looked like a blob, I know you would, but you’d look like heaven. We’d have perfect twin babies. A blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl like daddy. And a brown-eyed, brown-haired boy, like mummy.”

I was silent, pressed tight against him. I knew if I spoke, I was going to cry.

“Lily? Have I freaked you out?” Luke asked with concern, his eyes troubled.

I shook my head as fresh tears started to fall. “No. I didn’t know you wanted all that. That was beautiful.”

“Hey, don’t cry, please. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” He held my face between his hands and peppered kisses across my lips, cheek and forehead.

“You haven’t, you haven’t at all. I can picture all of that in my head so clear, it’s amazing.” I smiled at him and wiped my eyes. “Why does life have to be complicated? Why can’t we have that?”

We were both silent for a moment before Luke spoke. “Because I was too late.”

I stood up and poured two glasses of wine as I attempted to gather my feelings, which flew through my head at speeds I couldn’t comprehend. We both looked to the window as a flash of lightning lit up the sky. Rain began to pour down, hammering against the windows as a rumble of thunder crashed in the distance. A perfect summer storm.

“Are you eating?” Luke asked. “You aren’t just drinking, are you?”

“Keep forgetting to eat, to be honest. Assuming the brownies don’t count?”

“They don’t count,” Luke confirmed. “I’ve made this weird, haven’t I?”

“You haven’t at all. That life sounds amazing, you said all of that so eloquently. I never thought we were going to get this complicated. I love you. You do know that, don’t you?” I asked.

“I know it, I feel it.” He sighed as though his heart was breaking right in front of me. “I wish I had a time machine. It’s not even worth me hating Zack, it’s not his fault. You were young, free and single, and I was unaware my chance was expiring.”

“It’s not expired, Luke.” I sat back down, handing him a glass.

Luke’s face shifted slightly as he looked at me. “I wanted to ask you for a while now, but I wasn’t sure about bringing it up. Zack clearly knows about that night now, I wondered when you told him and why? When I left, you hadn’t told him, and I thought that was how you wanted it?”

“I didn’t like telling him, but he needed to know. We were getting serious. I felt like it was something I’d want to know, in his shoes. Remember your last day at work? What a state I was in?” Luke nodded at me. “Well, by the time Zack arrived a couple of hours after work, I was a wreck. When you left the office, I fell apart. Petra had to shepherd me upstairs. I cried until I threw up. Felt like a vital organ had been torn out of me. I forgot Zack was even coming over until I heard the door go. When he saw the state of me, he knew this wasn’t a normal falling out between friends. I needed him to know why the bond between us is so deep.”

“What did he say?” Luke’s eyes looked misty as he questioned me.

“Same as we all thought, I think. Thank god you were there. That silly, adorable what’s for tea message system saved me. You saved me. Obviously, I can never, ever repay what you did for me, but I don’t want you to think that it’s only that one night that brought us so close.”

I took hold of his hand, running my fingers over the soft bumps of his knuckles. “You were the only person who didn’t try to fix me. You didn’t tell me to get over it, or time would heal it, or any of that crap. You travelled through every stage of it with me. Do you know how rare that is in a person?” I rested my head in my hands, as if trying to hold back the memories that would sometimes float to my mind and haunt me.

“I’d do it a million times over. Look at me, Lily.”

I looked up, huge, pendulous tears dripping from my eyes.

Luke stroked his fingers down my cheek. “This is beyond love. I’ve said it before, you’re everything. You’re my whole world. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

As Luke pressed his lips against mine, a feeling passed between us. We’d kissed hundreds of times now, we’d explored every bit of skin and flesh, but what was happening now was different.

His kiss was drinking me in. I could feel him smiling as his lips caressed mine. His fingers travelled with a painstaking slowness over me, as if he were memorising every patch of skin. I couldn’t tear my eyes off his, they held the key to me. This was absolute paradise. I could’ve died here and now and not regretted a second.

Luke pulled away from me. “I forgot to bring condoms, I’m sorry. I can run home?”

I couldn’t wait. I needed him now. “You got tested after you got home, didn’t you?” My mouth continued to move on his. He nodded as he kissed me. “I’m on the pill. You know I haven’t slept around. It’s fine.”

“Really?” His lips paused as he asked me.

“Really, please just take me to bed now, Luke.”

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