Page 64 of For the Love of Lily

“I used my judgement to try to guess what you’d like.” Jonathan smiled as he sat down opposite me a short while later, placing a beautiful looking drink in front of me. “This is a lemon drop martini. Hope you like lemon?”

“I love lemon!” I grinned. “Do they teach you this at cocktail school?”

He laughed. “I don’t know if cocktail school is a real thing. I’m studying graphic design. Just good at reading people. Anyway, taste it.”

I took a sip, licking the remnants of the sugar rim from my lip. “Oh my word, that’s amazing.”

“I get told this a lot.” He took a drink from his own glass, a pint of honey-coloured ale. His barman apron had been removed, and he wore a faded t-shirt, his hair now loose and sitting on his shoulders. He tucked it behind his ears as he spoke to me. “You want to talk about these boys of yours?”

“It’s hard to explain. I’ve been with Zack for almost eighteen months. We live together, we work at the same company. I love him to pieces. Thought we were heading for the happy ever after, you know?”

He nodded. “So where did the other guy come from?”

“Luke is… was… has been my best friend since my early twenties. We went through a lot together, as friends. Then he told me he was in love with me. Obviously, that went down well with Zack, who said I couldn’t see him anymore.”

Jonathan gave a subconscious nod, obviously in agreement. “Hence me and him having a blazing row and him announcing that he wanted a break. About a week ago. Then I saw this…”

I showed him the picture of Zack and the blonde, it really needed to be deleted. “So, I thought, fuck it.”

“And you fucked Luke?” he asked, with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded. “Lots of times. I have crazy, strong feelings for him. I need to choose between them, and I don’t know where to begin. I’m staying at my best friends while I try to figure it out. She wants me to donate eggs for her to have a baby. I’m lost in my life right now!” I laughed at the absurdity of it all.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that. I need a cigarette, come talk to me outside.” He motioned towards an exit door near the kitchen. I followed.

“I think it’s obvious who you should pick, but I guess that’s easy for me to say,” Jonathan stated as he leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette. “You want one?” He offered the pack, but I shook my head.

“How is it obvious?”

“You love Zack, and he sounds like a decent guy, all that stuff you told me. But Luke’s the great unknown, the one that got away. Most people don’t get a second chance like that. If you pick Zack, I reckon you’ll spend your whole life wishing you were with Luke.”

“I wouldn’t, I love Zack.” All the wine mixed with the cocktail was making my head spin now, and his words were starting to irk me. I also realised I hadn’t eaten for ages.

“I think Zack would be you settling. Everyone regrets settling in the end.” He almost looked smug as he watched me over the cigarette smoke.

I took a deep breath and looked around, not sure how to respond to a total stranger commenting on my life that way. I noticed the restaurant had emptied out, it must have been later than I’d realised.

“I think it might be time to go inside.” I pointed up at the dark clouds.

“It’s not going to rain, don’t worry. I learned that at cocktail school too. So, either way you aren’t going to be on a break for much longer, are you?” Jonathan asked, his face poker straight.

“No, I’m glad, it feels weird. I was cheated on before, and this whole situation makes me feel unsettled, to be honest,” I said.

“Who’d cheat on you? You’re stunning.” He put the cigarette out underneath his foot.

“Not everything is about looks,” I replied.

“Well, those two guys in your pictures aren’t exactly average are they? I never see girls like you drink with an ugly dude.”

“I’m not with them for their looks, that’s not what this is.” My head was getting foggier, fresh air always hit me badly when I was drunk.

“I have an observation about your situation. You seem to be bogged down in the emotion of this. I think you need to clear your mind.”

“I don’t do drugs-” I started to explain, but he cut me off.

“I didn’t mean do drugs. I meant do me. No strings, no phone numbers. A night to take your mind off them both.”

Before I could even think, he kissed me. The cigarette taste made me feel ill, his tongue so far down my throat, I was going to gag. As I felt his hand grope at my chest, I realised I needed to stop this now.

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