Page 7 of For the Love of Lily

“Coming round to the idea more and more every minute,” I replied, but I still felt as if I needed to explain further. “I’m sorry if I seem dull, or whatever, for being so cautious about this. My ex… I met him when I was seventeen. He was my first proper boyfriend, he was the first person I slept with. There hasn’t been anyone since, on either level. I doubt myself so much after putting everything I had into someone who, seemingly, didn’t give a toss.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, and you don’t have to feel like you’re being judged.” Zack took hold of my hand again. “When Cassie messaged me about you, I figured there was nothing to lose in the crazy sounding idea of hers. But when I met you… I was blown away, and still am, by how lovely you are, how well we get on, your beauty. I wasn’t on that dating site for a laugh or a series of one-night stands, I wanted to meet someone special. I feel like I did. We can take this as slow as you need, I will never put you under pressure. You’re in control.”

“Thank you. I’m just going to get changed, then you can have the bathroom. There’s wine in the fridge if you fancy, might be a bit late for coffee?”

He nodded as I closed the door. What had come over me? The girl who wouldn’t look at a dating website a week ago. This was insane, yet I was having so much fun. I needed to find sexy pyjamas but not too sexy. I wondered if cute might be better? After frantically rifling through my chest of drawers, I settled on a dark pink chequered set, which consisted of shorts and a button-through top. One quandary after another – should I take off my bra? I never slept in a bra, but there was a man here. That being said, the wire was digging into me horribly, so off it went.

I ran my toothbrush over my teeth, fairly confident there was going to be more kissing, and gave my hair a check before I opened the door into the lounge, stomach full of nerves.

“Is this bottle good? You seemed to have a few in the fridge.” Zack teased as he pointed to the wine on the coffee table, not before I noticed his eyes glance up and down my bare legs.

“It’s perfect.” I slid into the seat next to him and curled my legs up under me, so our knees were touching.

“Did you find what you needed?” I asked.

“I think this flat contains everything I need.” His face lit up in a smile.

We drank slowly and listened to each other’s playlists, talking about everything under the sun. In between talking, there was kissing, and although his hand drove me insane as he ran it up and down my leg or his fingers turned me to jelly as they slid up my pyjama top and stroked my back, he was never anything but a gentleman. This was both a blessing and a curse as I was torn between wants.

We must have fallen asleep, as I woke up on the couch, half of me warm and cosy in Zack’s arms but my legs were like ice. I squinted at the clock; it was three in the morning. Spring may have arrived, but the nights were still cold. I turned myself around, now facing Zack, and kissed his ear softly as I whispered, “Zack, I think we fell asleep.”

He murmured sleepy, incoherent words as he pressed his lips to my neck.

“Zack,” I whispered a little louder. “It’s too cold to sleep here. Come and sleep in the bed.”

He didn’t speak, he just pulled me up with him as he stood. His lips needy on mine as he navigated us towards the bedroom. I don’t know if I shivered with the cold or the anticipation, as the back of my legs bumped into the mattress. I tried to pull him down with me, but he resisted, instead pulling at the duvet before lowering me, gentle and supportive.

He straddled my lower legs, pulling the warm covers up over us both. His free hand trailed up my body in firm, slow motions which drove me insane. Even more so when he followed it up with tiny, soft kisses. The kisses tickled around my belly button in a soft, slow circle before bypassing my pyjama top and wandering along my collar bone. Then his hands were in my hair as he tilted my head from side to side. He kissed every inch of my neck, as if savouring it. Frustratingly, he then rolled me onto my side and pressed himself behind me in an embrace.

“I hope you feel warmer now.” His breath was hot on my shoulder as he dragged his lips over the area.

I could barely speak. I would’ve done anything he asked of me in that moment. It was apparent he was as turned on as I was as he pressed against my back. I tried to move my arm to reach for him, but he held it in place, stopping me.

“It’s too soon. I don’t want you to rush and end up regretting it. I don’t want to be a regret,” he whispered directly into my ear. His lips brushed my skin and sent a shudder through me. “Thank you for trusting me to sleep here with you. Goodnight, beautiful.”

I pulled his hand up to my mouth, placing a soft kiss on it. I knew what he said made sense, but it didn’t stop me aching for more. “Goodnight, Zack,” I whispered back. He snuggled close as I fell into the dreamiest sleep I could remember in a long time.

Three

My eyes flickered open as my brain shot to life… there was a man in my bed. A man in my bed! Zack was still asleep, facing towards me with his arm draped over my side. I lay there and took in the detail of him. Such full, dark eyelashes, I was almost jealous. His lips were parted as he slept, and I traced my finger over the dark stubble on his chin, concentrating on how spiky it felt, amazed at how it had grown overnight. It was surreal waking up with him, but I was somewhat delighted. Zack’s hair was all messed up, and I couldn’t help but run my fingers through it, starting at the shorter hair above his ear and up into the longer length on top. What would he be thinking if he had woken up first? Would he be examining me in a similar way?

That moment felt delicious. I wished I could take a picture, but that would be beyond creepy. I became aware that Zack was awake and watching me. I sucked on my lip, embarrassed at being caught checking him out like that.

The arm that was draped over me pulled me closer, holding me tight. “I’m glad that train didn’t arrive,” he smiled and looked into my eyes. For a moment, we watched each other, the connection drove me insane. His eyes were the same shade of brown as mine, dark and chocolatey, the pupil hard to differentiate unless you were close up, like this. This was a nice place to be.

“Did I wake you? I wasn’t being weird, I promise,” I tried to explain. “You just looked very peaceful. You don’t mind, do you?” A warmth flushed up my face and I hoped he wouldn’t object.

“As far as being woken up goes, that’s never going to be an issue.” He ran a finger down the side of my face as I’d done to him a few moments earlier. It brushed over my lips, before he wrapped it in my hair, a playful smile on his face. “I see what you mean. This is nice. How is your hair that soft?” He ran his fingers through the dark strands, watching them fall between the gaps.

Moments like this had been missing from my life for a long time. My breath hitched as I shuffled closer, running my fingers over that rough stubble once more. Our bodies were pressed together as I tentatively touched my lips to his, feeling him relax into me with a deep sigh. How had I forgotten that kissing was this good? I ran my hand inside the borrowed t-shirt, savouring the feel of his warm skin under my fingertips. I could’ve stayed there all day, just getting used to how he felt and looked, the effect he had on me each time he touched me - I longed for him to touch me.

The kiss was growing in demand. My leg slid up around his thigh, willing him to keep going. He moaned at the movement, rewarding me with hands that skimmed the curve of my bottom, fingers inching inside my shorts, tempting me to him.

“Zack…” I whispered into his mouth. Yet he pulled back from me, that sensation of being momentarily lost hit me again as the contact with him was broken.

“Sorry,” he whispered, as he sat up and edged over to the bathroom. “I need a minute.”

I smiled sheepishly as it occurred to me that for someone who asked to take things slow, I was really testing him. That had all felt so good. I buried myself back under the covers as I inhaled a deep breath from his pillow.

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