Page 55 of For the Love of Lily

“That’s my limit of talking about it. I’m done,” she announced. “Can we talk about why your boyfriend turned up here screaming and now you and Luke are all kissy-kissy?”

“I told Zack about Luke kissing me,” I exhaled as I prepared for the emotional onslaught. “He went mad, forbade me from ever seeing Luke again, which turned into a big fight, and he stormed out, spent the night with Adam, I think. He came back the next day, after he’d been here, and said he wanted a break. Didn’t even try to stop me when I left.”

“Shit! Is that why he was looking for Luke? He knew about the kiss?”

I nodded. “He won’t answer my calls, haven’t heard anything from him.”

“Lily, don’t get mad. But is jumping into bed with Luke going to help this situation? In any way?”

“Zack wanted a break, Cassie, so he’s getting a break.” I thrust my phone towards her, with the tongue action photo of Zack and a blonde on screen, zoomed in for good measure.

She bit her lip as she looked at the photo. “When was this taken?”

“The same day I left. He’s in Iceland now with work. I dread to think what he’s doing.”

“Or who he’s doing,” exclaimed Cassie. “Sorry, that was thoughtless. Listen, I think he’s hurt, feeling betrayed. Men act stupid when they’re hurt. He’ll know you’re with Luke.”

“He pushed me to Luke.” I hadn’t realised that until I said it out loud.

“Do you think this is helping, though? Are you with Luke for good now? What are you doing about this break with Zack? Everyone is going to get hurt.” She didn’t mean to lecture me, but it felt like I was in trouble with a teacher.

“I have no idea. No idea. Why didn’t you just let me be a crazy cat lady? Then you could’ve borrowed my ovaries, no problem.” I downed the wine as I made the flippant comment, not thinking anything of it. Cassie’s eyes zeroed in on me.

“Let’s just clone them into one,” Cassie suggested.

“Cloning makes more of them, that’s the last thing I need. You mean merge them into one?”

“Yeah! Zuke!!! Or Lack… no! Definitely Zuke.”

Luke walked in and grabbed me up off the couch. “Food’s ready! What are you two going on about?”

We sat at the outdoors table to eat, enjoying the sun as Ruby and Emilia chased each other around the beautiful garden. There was a tension, though. All four of us avoided any contentious subjects, of which there seemed to be plenty at the moment.

I didn’t even know where to begin processing how the next week would go, and I felt sick every time I thought of seeing Zack at work on Monday. It had been nice, pottering about Luke’s house while he worked, but I couldn’t afford to lose my job. I needed to go back.

Luke was twitchy all day on Sunday but in an excited way. I was dreading the weekend being over, but he seemed to have a surprise planned. It got to two in the afternoon, when he grabbed my hands, smiling.

“You trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes… why?” I asked, intrigued.

“Go have a long bath, take a glass of wine, a book. Don’t come down until I shout, promise? And don’t look out the window,” he grinned, with a sparkle in his eyes.

“Hmm. Is this your way of telling me I need a bath?” I asked,

“Course not, you smell sexy as hell. I’ll shout you soon. Go on, shoo.” He ushered me towards the staircase.

Lying in the hot, bubbly water, I could hear banging and clattering outside, male voices. What was he doing? The bath was good, but I’d rather be in it with Luke than here on my own. Eventually, after what felt like forever, Luke shouted up. “Come down in ten minutes!”

I dried my skin, fingers and toes like prunes, and put on a deep blue dress that Luke had chosen when we were shopping. My bare feet were silent on the soft, cream carpet of the stairs as I tiptoed down like a child on Christmas morning.

My breath caught in my throat as I peered around the living room door. Flickering candles adorned every surface, highlighting the dusky wallpaper that Luke and I had agonised over in John Lewis.

The air smelled beautiful. I recognised it as my favourite Pomegranate Noir candle. I’d never told Luke it was my favourite, but it was so like him to have paid enough attention to know. I felt myself tear up as it struck me once again just how much Luke loved me, how much he’d been through. I was imprinted all over the house. Thinking back, we had chosen almost everything together, painted walls together- why had I never spotted how like a couple we were?

I glanced around, feeling a little guarded. Luke knew I was still jumpy about people catching me unawares, and I was confident he wouldn’t do that to me, but an element of fear still plagued me. I saw a note on the coffee table, leant up against a champagne bucket.

A streak of desire flashed through me as I unfolded the thick paper. It was sad that people didn’t write letters now; how I’d adore letters of love in his script.

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