Page 52 of For the Love of Lily

“I wanted you to ask me to come and stay with you…”

“Lily, I don’t think you know what you want right now. I don’t want to complicate your life anymore than it already is,” Luke replied, sweet as ever.

“We missed all the ‘right’ times. Maybe, this is our chance, and if we don’t take it, we’ll regret it forever? Take me home… as yours.” I took hold of his hand in mine. He didn’t speak, he pulled me closer and pressed a deep kiss to my lips. No turning back…

Eighteen

I couldn’t keep my eyes off Luke as we checked out of the hotel. The sense of my life shifting filled me with apprehension as I settled into the passenger seat of Luke’s sleek, black car. Not the one I had scratched a few years back.

“Let’s go,” he grinned as we headed towards the motorway, onto the familiar route back. I loved Luke’s house. It was a Victorian semi-detached in a nice road, neat and well looked after. When Luke gave up the flat for me, he had ended up staying with his parents for a few months, which gave him chance to save a deposit and buy this place. At first glance, the interior was blatantly a bachelor pad, stylish and expensive, kind of like Luke. Just as he had an aura of friendliness though, the house had its own welcome atmosphere.

Luke unlocked the dark blue front door and took my bag from me. I stepped into the familiar hallway and kicked off my boots, as I’d done a thousand times. This time was different though, the enormity of realising that we were alone, properly completely alone, with nothing to stop us going as far as we wanted, sent heady mixes of desire, fear and tension running through me. I stood still in the hallway.

“You look worried,” said Luke, his eyes narrowing a little as he watched me.

I sucked in a sharp breath and focused myself. “Just thinking about what we’re maybe about to do… and how big a deal that is. You know… all the stuff.” I looked down at the polished wooden floor.

He lifted my chin up so I was looking up into his eyes, which were full of mischief. “Are we doing all the stuff, Lily? Nearly killed me to stop this morning.”

My eyes flicked between his repeatedly. I was blinking too much. Luke looked serene and calm. I couldn’t think of what to say, or what to do. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. He leaned down to me and tucked my hair behind my ear, whispering to me, “Do you want to?”

I shivered as his lips grazed my ear before journeying down to my neck. My eyes closed under the sensation. The hall was narrow, and he pressed me back against the wall with one hand as his other began to pull at my top. “You aren’t normally lost for words. In fact, you’ve been pretty vocal about this lately. Just say if you want me to stop…” He was whispering into my ear again, and I twisted my head around, wanting his kisses back on my mouth.

All I could think was of Luke and me, how long our chemistry had been building up to this moment. How he smelled of the ocean and pure, invigorating oxygen, how his skin was so warm to the touch and so, so soft. How this was basically, inevitable.

“Please don’t stop.” I unbuttoned his shirt as he threw my own top to the floor. We moved to the stairs, trapped in a savage kiss that neither of us was willing to break. Luke turned me around as we reached the top, kissing along my hairline, leaving goosebumps all over me as his hands undid my bra and dropped it to the floor. Then before I could take another breath, he pulled me back to face him.

“Still so quiet, Lily?” He slid his finger all the way down my spine, one hand kept me still while the other tugged my jeans and underwear down, following his own. I felt all of his bare skin, pressed against mine. We were wholly naked and perfectly lost in each other.

My heart felt as though it would burst out of my chest as he led me to the bed. I’d been in this bed before. I’d slept in it side by side with Luke multiple times, but this was utterly different.

He leaned back against the soft, plush headboard and pulled me up. My legs straddled around him, as my kisses touched his forehead, his chin, his nose. I was entranced. I couldn’t contemplate how this had not happened sooner; it felt preordained. His hands scratched roughly down my back, drawing me even closer in.

Luke shook his head from side to side, disrupting my kisses and focusing me on his face. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I felt like words were just meaningless in the midst of all this; our bodies were saying more than my three little words ever could. I opened my eyes, instantly falling in love all over again as those beautiful, never-ending pools of blue drank me in. It had to be now, it had to be. I absolutely ached for him.

He reached into the drawer beside the bed. “No offence, Lily, but that screwed up, packet you pulled out of your bag this morning looked a little past its best.”

I lifted myself up as he put the condom on. I’d never felt nerves like this in my life. Then Luke’s hands firmly held my hips as he drove himself inside of me. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into the beautiful spot where his neck became his shoulder. I couldn’t breathe. I’d never experienced anything this intense.

I was putty in his hands as he held me and moved me where he wanted. He seemed to sense from my breath and my kisses exactly what I longed for and needed; no sound passed my lips. I was unable to think about anything except the feel of him inside of me. It was over so fast, yet at the same time lasted forever, we’d waited so long. As soon as he felt me tense against him, my fingers gripping at him, he let himself go too. Face to face, skin against skin, eyes locked to each other, fingers laced together, we stayed like that for an age, placing soft, tender kisses on each other’s mouths. I couldn’t bear to move. I wanted him inside me forever.

The room was silent as the late afternoon sun floated in through the white curtains. Luke stroked my hair as I held onto him.

“I never would’ve imagined spending the afternoon like this,” I said, reticent to break the spell.

I thought back over what had happened. It was so different to being with Zack. I don’t know what I had expected, they were completely different people. Luke was such a gentleman in daily life, but just then he’d taken command of me, and I loved feeling powerless with him. I trusted him with my life. He had shown me he was worthy of it, after all.

“I spent a lot, and I mean a lot of time imagining what that’d be like,” Luke confessed.

“I think you should tell me more,” I said, running my hand up and down his chest in long, lazy strokes.

“Let’s just say, every eventuality I came up with in my mind was nowhere near as incredible as that was. However, in an effort to make you happy I can act them all out with you?”

I rolled my eyes and smiled. “I was worried it’d feel strange, being with my best friend like that, but no… there aren’t words for how that felt.”

He kissed me with absolute tenderness. I was desperate to feel him again, but he stood up. “I’m going to go and cook us some dinner, then we can decide what to do.”

I couldn’t keep my eyes off him as he got dressed, and I think he knew it. I loved seeing parts of his body I hadn’t noticed before, subtle tan lines that were barely visible, little ripples of muscle as he stretched. I lay in the bed feeling completely satiated, yet also desperate for more.

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