Page 29 of For the Love of Lily

I gulped more wine. “What would I have done? Luke… repeatedly.”

“Shit!” Cassie exclaimed. “Serious?”

“The more time goes on since he told me, yeah. He was always like my big brother, possibly because I felt like a scared little kid when I met him. But lately, since Zack, I guess, I feel grown up and sexy and over all that crap,” I laughed at myself. “Sounds stupid, but I feel different now, and knowing what I know…I think I’ll always feel sad about what might’ve been.”

“Have you said that stuff to Luke?”

I shook my head. “No point. The situation is what it is. Did you already know Luke was going away, before Friday?” I asked.

“Yes, sorry. He made me promise I wouldn’t say. He wanted to tell you himself,” she replied.

“He announced it in a staff meeting. He didn’t make time to talk to me alone or anything.” I sounded sulky.

“I don’t know what you expect, Lily, he’s hurting, and everywhere he turns it feels like all he sees or hears is you and Zack. He needs space. I expect Zack isn’t going to miss him?”

“Zack’s jealous streak about Luke is off the charts. I can barely mention Luke’s name,” I confessed.

“Instead of feeling guilty, or sad, just think about what an amazing time he’s going to have and how much he needs it. The best thing you can do is wave him off with a smile, and then be ready to be his friend again when he gets back. Can you do that?” Cassie asked.

I nodded. “I can. I will. When he came back from Africa, I had this idea in my head that he and Zack would be great friends, and everything would slot into place. I found a man I’m crazy in love with. Why did there have to be a price?”

“Now you’re just being dramatic,” she grinned as she pinched a giant chip from my plate. “It’s all going to be fine, trust me. Plus, you have me. What more does a girl need?” I smiled at her as I stuck my fork into one of her chips in retaliation. “I need more details on what’s happening with you and Zack please. Brighten up my dull life!”

She may have joked about her life being dull and how hard being a mum was, but she was an absolute natural. She loved it and everything that came with it. Cassie and Guy were the most in love, solid couple I could imagine. I envied how easy it had been for her. They’d met when Cassie was at college and had been inseparable ever since. The two of them survived a long-distance relationship through university and then settled into domestic bliss, buying a bigger house every time Guy got promoted, which seemed to be a regular occurrence. As much as she joked about needing details of my sex life to keep her going, I was pretty sure she was satisfied in that department. I hoped she got the baby news she wanted soon.

Cassie hugged me as we split the bill and got ready to head home. “We should make Monday nights a regular arrangement,” she smiled. “That was so much fun. Do you promise me you are going to stop stressing?”

“I will,” I replied. “But I’m going to miss him.”

“We all will, but we all want our friends to be happy, don’t we?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Yes, we do, Mum.”

“I’ll call you in thirty seconds. Love you!”

Whenever we walked home separately, we talked as we walked, making sure each other was safe. It was quiet where we lived, and crime was low, but it was always nice to not feel alone when walking home in the dark.

I arrived back to my gorgeous flat and kicked off my boots. My phone pinged with a message. I opened it, expecting Zack, but it was Luke’s name on the screen.

Sorry I haven’t got back to you about the drink, don’t know what to do for the best. I can’t decide if it’s a good or bad idea, but this can’t get worse, I guess?

It’s been so long since I even got a message from you, I missed seeing your name x

What are you up to now?

Literally just got in from the pub, had tea with Cassie. Why? x

If I wait, I’ll change my mind, feel up to coming back out?

My head was flooded with all the happy hormones. To be able to message my friend again was so nice. The idea of going out at this time on a Monday night reminded me of carefree times.

This time on a Monday night? There’s only one place we could go. Are you ready for that level of slumminess? x

Born for it! I’ll be outside yours in fifteen minutes x

Half an hour later we walked into the local student union bar, the oldest people in there by miles. That still didn’t stop a gaggle of eighteen-year-old girls literally stopping in their tracks to gaze open-mouthed at Luke, before moving onto flashing me daggers. The bar was loud and colourful. We’d never known it to be closed. Everything was cheap, from the drinks to the vinyl seating, which worryingly seemed to be wipe-clean for a reason.

I grabbed a booth, smiling at Luke as he walked back over with a pint and a large wine. He was dressed casually, jeans and a t-shirt. I hadn’t seen him in anything but a work suit in ages now.

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