Page 15 of For the Love of Lily

“Well, I promised Cassie I’d meet one person she chose from this dating site she was harping on about. More to shut her up than anything because you know I didn’t want to meet anybody or get involved…” I was rambling but couldn’t seem to stop. “He seemed so sweet when we went for coffee, and I had to make a decision about whether to see him again. I remembered what you said before you left, about it being time to be brave, so… I said yes.”

Luke watched me, his eyes focused and intense. “That wasn’t what I meant with that advice, but carry on.”

“One date became a lot of dates, and I felt braver each time. I can see what people meant now about me wasting my life away because of what happened. I still feel weird about it sometimes, but it’s a good step forward, hey?” I hoped he was going to reassure me. “You said I needed to trust my feelings, believe in myself again.”

“After four years of being scared to trust anyone, you are happy with trusting a random guy off the internet who Cassie found on a dating site?” His eyes searched mine. “You see why I’m concerned about this, Lily? You know your happiness means the world to me.” He took hold of my hand with a gentle touch. “Please think how far it will set you back if it turns out he’s lying, or cheating, or has a wife, or god knows what else goes on in the world of internet dating?”

“I… I hadn’t thought about it like that,” I admitted. “I know he isn’t married, though, I met his flatmate. I’ve been to his place.”

“A lot of people use those sites for sex. What if you think it’s more and it isn’t? You deserve better than to just be a fling.”

“I don’t think Zack’s like that. Besides,” I blushed. “There hasn’t been any sex yet. I think he would’ve given up if that was all he was after.”

A look I couldn’t gauge flashed across Luke’s face. “Zack.” Luke repeated his name through a long breath out. “Does he know about everything that happened? Does he know about that night?”

I shrugged and took a large sip of wine. “The basic gist of it. I haven’t gone into detail.”

“Do you think that maybe you should? So that he’s more aware? If it doesn’t work out, I can imagine you ending up back at square one. Please don’t think I’m being horrible, Lily. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“I know, but the same could be said if I’d met a guy at a bar or through work. You don’t instantly know if a person is good or not. Nobody’s more surprised than me at the fact I am enjoying this. I trust him. I think he’s a good person. I have been backwards and forwards in my head, doubting myself like I always do. Really, unless I got together with someone I already knew, there would always be that risk, wouldn’t there?” I wanted Luke to tell me he understood and that I was right.

Instead, he sighed and took a long drink. “Maybe that would’ve been a better option. Please be careful. I wish I’d been here for the start of this. I love Cassie, she is a bundle of pure enthusiasm, but I bet she was more interested in what dress you wore and how high your heels were than what could go wrong?”

I nodded and put my wine glass down on the table, pressing my hand to Luke’s knee as I replied. “You’re right, I’ll slow down a little, have a think. What would I do without you, hey?” I pulled him into another tight hug as we heard the doorbell go. Cassie, and an enormous Chinese banquet, had arrived.

“Hey, sexy lawyer dude. Good trip?” Cassie grinned as she waltzed in, holding the box of food out to me before she pulled Luke into a hug.

“Great trip but nice to be back.”

“Guy has been a proper mope without you. Can you play tennis or something with him at the weekend, cheer him up?”

“I thought you’d be cheering him up enough at the moment, Cassie?” I grinned as I spooned rice onto plates.

Luke put his hands over his ears. “I don’t want to know. Why am I cursed with girls for friends?”

Cassie thumped him on the arm good naturedly. “The kids missed you loads. You going to come see them at the weekend?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he replied. “You coming over, Lily?”

Cassie jumped in before I could speak. “Oh, she’ll be too busy dry humping Zack, never see her at weekends now.”

“Cassie!” I snapped. “That’s not true.”

“The dry humping or the not seeing you at weekends?”

Luke looked flustered as he took his plate and sat down.

“Zack’s busy this weekend, so yes, Luke, I would love to come visit the kids.” I stuck my tongue out at Cassie, and the three of us attacked the food as though we hadn’t eaten in weeks.

“Luke, I’m now officially the world’s best matchmaker, so shout when you want hooking up.” bragged Cassie. She was going to revel in this for a long time.

He smiled, but it didn’t seem like a true smile. “I’ll pass. Confirmed bachelor. You know me.” We laughed it off, but something felt amiss.

It made my soul happy to have the three of us back together. Luke’s tales from Uganda were incredible, and I was so in awe of what he did. I could never be brave enough to go so far away, alone, to help people, but that was Luke all over.

Cassie teased me about Zack, but Luke’s advice resonated with me, I tried to move the conversation on. My mind was busy as Luke walked me the few minutes home, wanting to make sure I was safe.

“Are you sure that you’re OK?” he asked as we neared my flat.

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