Page 30 of The Art of Professing Love

24

IRVING

Sylvan rested his head on my shoulder, fingers absently twirling my chest hair. Moonbeams bounced off the ceiling, lighting up the otherwise dark room in their cool glow. I would have stayed like this forever if I could, never moving, never speaking.

He was the one to break the spell, albeit reluctantly. “Do you feel better now?” he asked quietly, his voice nearly getting lost somewhere between his lips and my ears.

I didn’t answer. How could I? At some point, I needed to tell him what had been on my mind. I needed to rip the bandage off, minimizing the sting of rejection as much as possible. But not just yet. I wanted to bask in the sweetness of his embrace just a little while longer.

I expected him to try asking again or to say something else. Sylvan always seemed to have trouble keeping his mouth shut, even when that was the best course of action. He must have sensed that now was not the right time to speak, because he kept his mouth strangely shut even as the minutes dragged by.

“It was perfect,” I said softly after several more minutes of silence punctuated only by the frogs croaking somewhere outside. “It was all so perfect.”

I ran my fingers through his hair, watching the way the copper strands shimmered in the moonlight. He shifted, chin digging into my chest, to look at me.

“What was?” he asked. “The sex?”

“Everything,” I replied. “The sex, the time we spent together, the smell of dandelion coffee in the morning, the steam that permeates this entire cabin after a shower, all of it. I loved it.”

“It is – wait, loved, as in past tense?” His eyes widened, pleading silently to take back everything I’d just said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, only opening them when I was ready to face him. “Yes. I can’t do this anymore, Sylvan. I’m not strong enough. I don’t see those photos the same way you do and I don’t think I ever will.”

He sat up straight, his heart pounding so loud I could hear it in the small gaps of silence between us. “You can’t do this to me,” he murmured. The panic in his voice killed me. “Irving, please, don’t leave me over a couple of old photos. It’s not worth it.”

I shook my head. “It’s more than that. We were doomed from the beginning, remember? It wasn’t meant to be. I don’t have what it takes to stay with someone like you and, quite frankly, you deserve someone better – someone who will appreciate your more interesting qualities. I’m not the right man for you and I can’t change that fact.”

A single tear rolled down his cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb and he grabbed my wrist, holding it against his face. Watching him break down as he took in what was happening was like watching a flower wilt in the first frost of the year. I hated doing this to him.

“You won’t change my mind,” I continued. “I see no other way forward.”

“Well,” he said shakily, “you are half-blind.”

I would have laughed if I didn’t think the laugh would turn into tears. I dropped my hand, picking up my glasses from the coffee table so I could see. I picked my clothing up from the floor, putting each piece on in deafening silence, disrupted only by the occasional choked-back cry from Sylvan.

“I’ll talk to Lachlan as soon as I gather up some strength and tell him to leave us alone. I’ll let him know that we’re not together anymore. That should get rid of him, and if for some reason it doesn’t, I’ll make sure he never bothers you again, at least.”

“That’s exactly what he wants,” Sylvan shot back. “You’re giving him the very thing he came here for. Do you really think that’s right?”

I didn’t answer. I was already at the door, and I didn’t dare look back one last time before leaving. We’d both said enough and what was done was done. I wasn’t looking forward to meeting up with Lachlan, but I needed him out of my life as quickly as possible now that he’d ruined everything.

I made it to the hotel in record time, grateful that I didn’t get stopped for speeding along the way. Luke Hammond was at the front desk checking in a young couple when I arrived, so I was forced to wait a few minutes.

“Good evening, Professor Scott.” Luke smiled. “What brings you here tonight?”

“Hello, Luke. Could you tell me what room Lachlan McCormack is staying in?”

“Of course. He’s on the first floor in room 6, left side of the hallway. I’m afraid I can’t give you a key, though. He didn’t tell me he was expecting any visitors tonight.”

“I don’t need a key.”

Luke tried to respond, but I was already halfway through the lobby. I strode down the hall, stopping only when I was in front of the door with a large chrome 6 next to it.

“Lachlan!” I pounded on the door, each thump causing it to vibrate with the pressure. “Let me in.”

Click. He unlocked the doorknob and a second later, the door opened a few inches before being impeded by the chain on the other side.

“What do you want, Irving? Have you come crawling back to me to ask for my hand again? Because I have no interest in that.”

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