Page 1 of Scarred Hearts

PROLOGUE

TYLER

After my wife passed away, it felt as if my family and friends had been walking on eggshells. They treaded around me cautiously, afraid to trigger one of my unpredictable outbursts. My emotions were raw and exposed, both physically and mentally, and the loss deeply scarred me. Though I’d snapped at them in those moments of pain and grief, Chance, Ian, and Luke assured me they would’ve reacted the same in my situation, and no apologies were needed.

But every night, I still found myself struggling with the memories of her passing away during surgery while my family stood by. The pain of losing her felt fresh and overwhelming at times. I could only hope that she hadn’t suffered in her final moments. It may have been selfish of me to wish for that, knowing that in a perfect world, she would’ve survived, but it was the only solace I could find these days.

Now, I was a single father, left to raise our kids. Kids I loved with every ounce of my being, that I’d adopted as my own the minute Mila allowed me to. Raising them had proven to be a challenge; they missed their mother greatly. But I wasn’t alone. Those close to me had all stepped in to make life as enjoyable and normal for them as possible.

A part of me would always blame myself for their mother’s death. But I’d do anything to ensure they were always taken care of and felt loved by me, even if it meant sacrificing everything else in my life. Being a father to them and working to support them were my only focus now. Watching Jade as a single parent with Maddie gave me an ounce of hope I could do it too.

This morning, Luke convinced me to ride with him to pick up some things for our first themed party at Luxe. While out, I picked up some flowers for Mila. Today was her birthday and I wanted to visit her before I took the kids later.

Luke had been abnormally quiet, which meant there was something he wanted to talk about, but he never brought it up. We mostly rode in silence on the way back to the club until I spoke up.

“Hey man,” I sighed.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we can stop by Mila’s grave while we’re out?” I asked. “Today’s her birthday and those flowers in the back are for her. I plan to take the kids after school but I kinda want a minute to myself with her if that’s cool?”

“Of course,” he said, veering left at the rotary, circling back around to the cemetery.

“Thanks,” I muttered, almost feeling guilty for asking him to take that detour. “I just figure I’ll leave her flowers while alone so I can focus on the kids in case they start to cry, you know?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’ll get out and watch your back while you have your moment.” He pulled into the cemetery parking lot, winding around to park near my family’s plot since Mila was buried close by, despite her family’s wishes.

“Cool,” It was the only word I could utter as sadness filled my heart again, but I’d learned recently how well I was coping, considering.

After we got out, he leaned on the grill of his Escalade while I strolled to her grave, going over what I wanted to say in my head. There were things I needed to get out. Kneeling in front of her headstone, I blinked away the tears.

“Hi,” I sniffled, fighting back the feeling of fresh emotions when I’d done so well suppressing them lately. “I don’t even really know how this works. I’m not sure if you can even hear me, but I hope you can at least feel me.” I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Is it pointless to talk to you now?” I chuckled nervously. “Of course it is, but I’m going to say what I have to say, and we can pretend I’m not talking to a giant stone.”

A sudden gust of wind blew around me and instead of a chill, I felt peace and warmth. Blinking rapidly a few times, I took a deep breath. The calm I felt was indescribable. Whether it was me realizing I was being ridiculous or some higher form, I wasn’t sure. My family was Roman Catholic, so I was no stranger to religion.

“You made your point,” I said in case it was a sign, propping the flowers against her headstone. “Happy birthday. I’m sorry my life choices led to someone so innocent paying the price. But my family is who they are, and so am I… I guess… and it’s never going to stop until we end it. And after that, it’ll be someone else. I’m just sorry you had to pay the price for it when this isn’t a lifestyle you really wanted to begin with. I feel like I put some form of pressure on you to be with me, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

Mila almost didn’t date me because I was a lawyer. She said it was strike one. I couldn’t give up my career. It was my only education and means to support us. The club part of it never bothered her even if it was never her scene. She thought all lawyers were liars. I showed her how much I wanted to date her, and she gave me a chance after making me sweat it out for a few weeks.

After we got married, and she found out about the Mafia-related drama surrounding my family, she brought up divorce, because that was strike two and she was ready to walk away over it.

But I fought with every ounce of my being to keep her and the kids, promising I’d always keep her safe from the danger. After three weeks of me being sentenced to sleeping in a guest room, she finally decided to trust me. Meanwhile, she had every right to be concerned. I’d let her down in so many ways, right to the very end. I still hadn’t told my family about the strikes because I wanted them to love her like I thought I did.

Jenna might have loved almost everyone, but she’d always be protective as fuck over me. And now, Amber and Jade were too. Jenna would’ve ripped her to shreds if she knew she didn’t truly love me unconditionally. The lawyer and family thing came up a lot in arguments with constant threats to part ways. I thought her being around my family more would’ve eased her mind when she saw how normal we were otherwise; family pool parties, game nights, holidays, all of it. But normal to me would never be normal to an outsider.

“Enough sad talk,” I respired, realizing I couldn’t really talk about my job… or what was going on… or anything else. For once since I’d known her, I was realizing how terrible we were together, but admitting it was something I wasn’t ready for.

“Anyway,” I continued, searching for any other topic than what weighed heavily on my thoughts. It was the cause of our underlying issues. “The kids and I will be back later today.”

A switch flipped inside me at that moment. Riddled with guilt, I exhaled a shaky breath. My emotions bubbled to the surface, and I bowed my head, shutting my eyes. “Mila, I’m so fucking sorry for what happened to you.” I lifted my gaze to the name on her headstone. Camila Choi Prescott. “If I could take it back, I would. You were right with every concern you had, and I swear I’ll never drag another woman into this lifestyle and let her end up like you did. I should’ve let you go when you wanted but I promise I’ll take care of the kids, and I won’t let you down. You have my word.”

I glimpsed back toward Luke’s SUV but didn’t see him until I scanned the cemetery grounds. He was talking to Giovanna. I got ready to ask myself what she was doing here, but she’d lost her father and was standing over by his burial plot. I turned back to Mila, then stood.

I touched my fingers to my lips then placed them on the top of the stone. “Please forgive me, and I hope one day your family will too.”

Bowing my head, I slid my hands into my jacket pockets and turned away, taking one final deep breath as I made my way over to Luke and Giovanna. She’d been gone since her father passed and my family had been looking for her but had recently given up. Suddenly she threw her arms around Luke, hugging him tightly before taking a step back as they continued chatting.

As I got closer, I was able to make out what they were saying. She was clearly in a panic.

---