Page 119 of Broken By Love

“I’m fine, Olivia. Stop looking at me that way.”

“I was there for the breakup with JC, remember.”

“I was a lot younger and not as stable. Noah and I haven’t been right for weeks. I think even before he cheated on me, there was something wrong.”

I begin to shiver as the air conditioning hits my wet clothes. I need to get changed. Once we get into her apartment, I open my suitcase, praying that the clothing is not damp. Fortunately, the inside of the case is dry, and I grab a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

“You can take the smaller bedroom. We’re going to have to get you some furniture, but you can sleep with me until then.”

“Oh, Liv, I don’t want to inconvenience you by sharing your bed.”

“Are you serious? It’s a king-sized bed. I have plenty of room.”

I roll my suitcase into the bedroom and leave everything sitting in the corner, then plop down on Olivia’s couch. My phone starts going off like crazy with calls and texts. I keep letting them go to voicemail because I know they’re from Noah. Fuck him. When I finally check, I have five voicemails and tons of texts. He must have gotten home and found my ring on the counter, and the privacy of his office invaded.

What does he care? Now he’s free to be with Vivian. I hope they have a good life because I need to get mine back together. He built my trust in men up after JC, and now it’s torn down again. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to be with a man without checking to see if he’s doing something behind my back.

To have it happen once was bad enough, but twice? I feel like the world’s biggest jackass. Who even knows if Noah did this before? He went on so many trips early on in our relationship, he could have been screwing women, and I would never have known.

I delete all the voicemail messages, but before I remove the texts, Olivia yanks the phone out of my hand. I watch her mouth gape open as she reads each one. I can only imagine what they say because I really don’t want to know.

“Do you want me to tell you or you don’t care?”

“I’m curious, but should I give a shit?”

“I can give you the general story.”

I ponder whether I should just have her keep it to herself and tell me at another time, but it’s like a wound. It’s open and bleeding now, do I want to rip it apart when it’s healing. I ask her to tell me.

“Noah said you should’ve waited and given him a chance to explain. He wanted to sit down with you and have a discussion.”

“Is he fucking kidding? Noah’s acting like this is something up for discussion. Did he want me to say, hey, fuck Vivian on the side, and we can still get married. I’m totally open to it.”

“He said he never meant to hurt you, but it was hard for him to break away from her after they met again. He tried to make it work with you.”

I grab the phone back from her and type a text to him.

Why the fuck did you bother after I caught you fucking her? You had an entire month to break it off with me, yet all you did was make it seem like you were in for the long haul. And what was Friday night, a mercy fuck before you let me down hard?

You’re right. I should’ve been straight with you. Sex with you was never about mercy; it was about love. I love you, but I love her just a little bit more. I’m sorry.

Fuck you, Noah. I want to pick up the rest of my things tomorrow, and I don’t want you there. Say about noon. I’ll leave the keys to the apartment on the counter where you found my engagement ring. And I’m not paying any cancellation fees on our wedding venue. You caused this; you pay.

You should split it with me.

Is he fucking kidding? I didn’t break off the wedding. I didn’t cheat on him, and I certainly am not paying anything. He can fight me in court for all I care. We used his credit card so the venue will charge him.

If this was mutual, yes, but it wasn’t. I had no say in the matter when you slipped your dick into Vivian. Have a nice life.

I shut my phone off and bury my head in Olivia’s lap. All the anger I felt has now drained from me. The tremendous weight of sadness presses as it overtakes me, and I start sobbing.

“You cry it out,” Olivia says as she strokes my hair.

I’m more than glad she’s back because I need her. She’s always been there for me; a lot more than I have for her. I don’t know how long I cried, but when I finished, my head hurt, and my jaws ached. I had nothing left in me.

“I need to lie down.”

I sit up and rise from the couch, heading to my small unfurnished bedroom.

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