Page 25 of No Summer Hotter than You

I wasn’t the ideal daughter my parents always wanted. I never listened to them. Not because they weren’t in the right, but because I didn’t want to live my life the way they wanted me to. I didn’t pursue a life in the medical field, either as a nurse or doctor, or marry the supposedly good man they thought Pierre was. Since I always marched to the beat of my own drum, I was also often at odds with them.

My heart beat harder as my mind replayed what just occurred over again. I hated it when my mom expected me to magically make things work out for Sai when she refused to address the elephant in the room. I hated it when threw insults at me just because I couldn’t do what she anticipated from me. She always said the most horrible things to me when things don’t go exactly the way she wanted, whether I was a child or an adult.

As I pulled up to a stop light to make a left turn into my neighborhood, my heart began to pound louder in my ears. It was all I heard over the random summer pop music I put on the radio.

My heightened dread settled heavily in the pit of my stomach as the lights turned green. On any normal day lately, I’d make a left turn completely fine. But today with my argument with my mom and ending it with her calling me a bitch, I couldn’t make that left turn as I shook and desperately wheezed for air. I was having another anxiety attack behind the wheel.

Am I going to die this time? I grasped for whatever moments I still had left of this life with each sharp breath I tried to take in, but to no avail. Every breath I took was short and shallow, making me feel worse.

Traffic was low now that it was getting close to seven p.m. There were two cars driving toward me from more than a block away. They were going at a moderately slow speed and I had enough time to turn before they reached me, but I couldn’t do it. My hands got clammy as I gripped my steering wheel so tight my knuckles became white.

The driver behind me tooted their horn, but I still couldn’t turn, and that same driver began to blare the horn loudly and impatiently. Although I wasn’t mentally ready, I turned anyway. I made the turn in the nick of time just as I was pushed over the edge of my building anxiety. My chest squeezed tighter and tighter. I haphazardly pulled to the curb with a loud screech as my tire rims scratched along the concrete. The other driver sped off past me and into our neighborhood as I struggled to breathe.

Behind the wheel, I sobbed and panted loudly while my body shook.

My lungs burned with each constricted breath as I tried to focus on calming down. Count random things. Count things like I do with Anthony.

My heart pumped wildly in my ears now as I glanced down at the pastel orange water bottle Anthony bought for me last summer to keep me hydrated during my drives around the city. “O-one orange water bottle. Two trees . . . three cars,” I said out loud, trying to count anything I could focus on. My trembling voice became stronger despite the tears streaming down my face with each answer. “Three houses. Two kids. One dad. Two dogs.”

My breathing slowed as I glanced back down at the orange bottle. I could practically hear Anthony’s laughter over a stupid joke he said echoing in my ears. “One orange water bottle,” I repeated in a whisper. “One Anthony Hughes.”

My favorite ice cream popsicles were orange creamsicles. Anthony said that whenever he saw a color like the pastel orange popsicle, he always thought of me and our long summers together. Our fridges were usually full of this frozen treat all season. We would eat them for dessert every night during Sunset Valley’s unfathomable hot summers.

My mind wandered to how we always shared the last popsicle together and the way Anthony’s elbow would bump into mine when he stole the first bite. Then . . . I thought of those honey brown eyes glittering back at me, amused and full of mischief.

I let out a shaky breath when my lungs finally let me breathe properly. I immediately grabbed my phone, tears still falling, and called the only person I wanted to talk to the most right now.

CHAPTER 10

anthony

Ever since the arrival of Evelyn and Kelvin, my bi-weekly dinners with my parents dwindled to only weekly dinners. I wanted to limit the time I spent there, hoping Aunt Sue and Evelyn would leave me alone. I considered coming up with a last-minute excuse to not be here tonight, but couldn’t come up with a good one.

I glanced at my mom as she did a run-through of what she had planned for Aunt Sue and her crew for the month. She wasn’t looking at me, so I looked over to my dad, who I finally made eye contact with. My nose crinkled, slightly frustrated. I wanted to leave. Instead of a look of sympathy, he gave me a shit-eating grin.

“After a trip up to San Ignacio, we’ll be going up to Millerton Lake the following week,” my mom said. She finally turned to me. “Anthony, how long will we be staying there again?”

“I was able to reserve the house for a whole week,” I replied.

“Can’t wait to be on that lake and fish.” My dad let out a low whistle as I smiled. I specifically booked the lake house for a week so he could fish to his heart’s content.

“You fish, Uncle Gary?” Kelvin asked, surprised.

“Of course,” my dad said with a laugh as the two of them carried on with their conversation about fishing.

“A week at a lake?” Aunt Sue asked loudly. “How fun!”

“What? We’re going to a lake? But I didn’t bring any bikinis with me!” Evelyn said. She shifted in her seat closer to my side and looked up at me. What the hell was I supposed to do about this? “Anthony, would you mind taking me to the mall to go shopping for one or two?”

I blinked, completely blindsided by her request. Before I could make the excuse that I was busy, Aunt Sue quickly spoke up. “Oh, that’s a wonderful idea, Evelyn! Anthony, you don’t mind, do you? It’ll be a great opportunity for you two to bond.”

I forced a smile. Whenever Aunt Sue suggested Evelyn and I bond, she meant she wanted us to be alone together. It’d typically end up feeling like a bad date that I hadn’t agreed to.

“No, sorry, Shoua and me are busy. We probably won’t be able to take you,” I lied.

“But we should go!” Evelyn insisted. “I would love to get Shoua’s input on which bikini I should get if she can come along with us.”

I forced my smile to stretch a little wider. “No, we can’t.”

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