Page 85 of Her Dark Angel

Instead, I sigh. No point in trying to avoid my bandmates now they know I’m here.

“Nash?” Luca calls out as they enter the living room.

“What do you want?” I barely recognize my voice, cracking slightly with each syllable as it sounds through the room, making them stop in their tracks. “I want to be alone.”

“We saw you in the news tonight.” Axel walks around the couch to stand in front of me, while Luca flips on the overhead light.

I hiss at the intrusion of light after sitting in darkness for who knows how long. Axel and Luca’s figures towering over me are nothing but a blur as I squint, protecting my sensitive eyes. If I weren’t so numb, I would have no problem getting up and smacking them upside the head for pulling a stunt like that.

“I didn’t know you were still fucking other women on the side.” Axel nudges my shoulder with his fist, pride coating his voice. “It sucks you got caught though. That’s a bummer.”

My brows crease as my vision returns to normal. “That’s not what happened.”

Axel and Luca share a quizzical look before returning their gaze to me. I narrow my eyes at them. I don’t like what’s happening. At all.

Luca runs his fingers through the ends of his hair, the red streaks beginning to fade. “I think what Axel is trying to say is, we didn’t know you and Kinsley weren’t… together, together.”

I grit my teeth, trying my damn hardest not to explode at these two idiots. “We’re not, but I wasn’t fucking around behind her back. Those images… it’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Then explain it to us.” Axel shoves his hands into the pockets of his black ripped jeans and shrugs.

I sigh and lean my head back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. “Kitty came by this morning looking to hook up. I don’t know how she got through the locked gate, but she did. A pap was hiding in the bushes in the backyard. Again, I don’t know how either of them got through, but they did.” I lift my head and meet their gazes, my jaw tense. “This wasn’t planned.”

“We believe you,” Luca is quick to say before Axel can open his mouth. “After you left the party early with Kin, I had a feeling something happened between you two. And with how you look at her… I don’t know, man. I didn’t believe those photos were real for a second.”

“I had hope,” Axel comments, followed by a low chuckle. Luca nudges his ribs, forcing a puff of air from his lungs. They share a tense gaze before Axel sighs. “Look, we came by because we figured you might want some sort of distraction. I know how much you love to drink and snort some blow, so we came prepared.”

My eyes widen when Axel reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hefty bag of cocaine. He waves it in front of my face, a mischievous look in his blue eyes.

Despite how numb my body feels, the tips of my fingers tingle at the sight of the drug. I have relied on cocaine many times in my life to get me through the darkest hours I faced. Even now, it’s all I can think about.

The hit.

The rush.

The relief.

But the little devil’s voice rings in the back of my mind.

You’re stronger than you know, Nash.

Whatever you’re dealing with, just know you’re not alone.

Her voice drowns out the whispers from the demons, encouraging me to take the bag from Axel and mix it with the Jack on the table. I know it’s the only thing that will calm the storm brewing in my chest and allow me a moment of silence.

But for some reason, I want to listen to the sweet voice filling my mind and not the harsh whispers. Maybe it’s curiosity to test my willpower in a moment where I would normally be quick to give in to my desire of getting fucked up and forgetting about my problems. Or maybe I just don’t want to continue being a fuck up in her eyes.

If the little devil believes I have some good in me, it wouldn’t hurt to listen to her. It’s the least I can do after what happened today.

“I don’t want it.”

Axel and Luca share another look, their eyes wide with confusion. In all the years I’ve known them, I have never once turned down the opportunity to get off my face with blow. It’s a first for them.

“Um, are you okay?” Axel asks, his eyes roaming over my face as if to check for a sign as to why I’m turning them down.

“I don’t want it,” I repeat a little more forcefully this time. “Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to be alone.”

“But, Nash…” Luca trails off, blinking slowly, his brown eyes filled with confusion.