Page 49 of Her Dark Angel

He sighs heavily. “I just… I really need your help right now. I made a terrible mistake and now some bad men are after me?—”

“Not my fucking problem,” I snap. Any ounce of sympathy I felt for this man left my body the day her coffin was lowered into the ground. Now, I hope he gets what’s coming to him because he deserves it for everything he’s done to me. He’s a terrible human being, so I don’t give a flying fuck what happens to him. “If you call this number again, I will have no problem tracking you down and taking care of you myself, Liam.”

He doesn’t have a chance to respond before I launch the phone across the room, the plastic crumpling against the wall from impact and landing in a heap on the floor.

How dare that fucker call me to ask for money after I’ve told him repeatedly to fuck off and never contact me again? Did he not understand me the first time I cut him out of my life when I left home to live with Hudson at sixteen?

The man I once called my father is now a fucking stranger to me. No more important than the dirt beneath my shoe. For many years, I looked up to that man because he was my dad—someone I thought would take care of me and help me navigate life. Instead, he was a fucking drunk who beat me and my mom whenever he came home angry.

And now he thinks he has the right to ask me for money to support his gambling and drinking habits? I don’t fucking think so.

My mind is a cluster fuck of emotions as I hurriedly divide the white powder on the nightstand into five equal rows with my credit card, ready for me to snort.

It has been one thing after the other today, piling on top of my already tense shoulders, desperate for me to crumble beneath the weight.

First, it was the news of the surprise show at the largest venue Dark Angel has ever played with a week’s notice, then it was the sudden panic attack in front of Kinsley, followed by the unplanned party at my house, and to top off the already shit sandwich is my sperm donor calling to ask for money again. I can’t fucking take any more shit today.

The tightness in my chest only worsens as my thoughts run wild and the pain returns, squeezing my chest painfully. Even though I’m struggling to inhale air into my lungs, I lean down and snort the white powder up my right nostril. A familiar burn consumes my senses, making my eyes roll back as I digest the drug. Not wanting to have to think anymore, I grab the bottle of Jack and chug the rest of the brown liquor like it’s fucking water.

I gasp for air when the last drop touches my lips, my head spinning and my vision blurry. Now that’s more like it. I close my eyes and try to slow my breathing. All thoughts seep from my mind, leaving me in complete darkness. Not a fucking sound is heard as I drift into my quiet space that has become a comfort I seek in the darkest of times.

I hate that this is what my life has come to, but how else can I possibly cope with the all-consuming pain and demons that are constantly fighting with me?

Is this why my father started drinking? To escape whatever demons he was running from?

Am I turning into my father?

I refuse to be anything like him... but is it the path I’m destined to take? Is my willpower not enough?

My muscles loosen as I flop backward onto the unmade bed that still smells like sex from weeks ago before I signed the contract. When was the last time I washed the bed sheets? My closed eyes flutter as peace and calmness weave through every bone in my body, making me feel like I’m melting into the soft mattress.

Even in the darkness of my mind, ocean eyes are all I see. A piercing blue that feels like I’m drifting into the light at the end of the tunnel.

I remember the feeling of nearly choking on my words and struggling to breathe when her soft lips found mine, calming me instantly. Even now, as I lie here getting lost in the abyss, all I can think about is how much I want to kiss the little devil again, and not just for the cameras.

17

KINSLEY

If there is one thing I know about my parents is that they’re pushy as hell, especially my mom. To the point where I don’t feel as though I’m in control of my life because they do everything in their power to make sure I succumb to their wishes.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and exhale sharply through my nostrils. “Mom, I don’t have time to audition for another movie. Last time I checked, the one I’m currently filming still has a couple more weeks left.”

Pacing the floor of my dressing room, I hold the phone to my ear and wait for her response. When the annoyed breath follows, it takes every fiber of my being to not slam my fist through the drywall beside me.

“Kinsley, please. When one door closes on a movie, it’s best to make sure you have another one waiting for you. Would you like to be jobless after this movie wraps up?”

Yes, I want to say, but not because I hate my job. Sometimes I wish I could take a break. I have been traveling full steam ahead in my career since I was eight with no sight of slowing down. But lately, I haven’t felt like I can breathe properly because I’m so exhausted from constantly being on set, booking modeling shoots for campaigns and advertisements, and fake dating a goddamn rockstar.

I just wish my life would slow the down, but I can’t tell my mother that. She would laugh in my face and tell me I am weak for even considering taking a break. In her eyes, you live to work, not work to live. But there is only so much more I can endure before I snap like a fucking yo-yo string.

Auditioning for another movie right now is not on my radar.

“Mom, I don’t have time to argue with you about this.” I plop onto the couch and cradle my head in my hands. Using my free hand, I massage my temple to ease the migraine forming behind my eyes. “Can we discuss this another time? I have to get back to work.”

Mom huffs and I just know her face has scrunched up in that sour look I despise. She would use it on me as a kid to let me know she was disappointed in my actions, and she still does it to this day. Unfortunately for her, it no longer works on me. “Fine, but don’t think I will forget about this, Kinsley. Your father and I will discuss this with you later. This is a big opportunity you can’t pass up.”

That’s what she says about every other movie or television show I have auditioned for in the past. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize she is only saying it to make me do what she wants.

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