Page 62 of Disciplining Dana

“You remember when I told Ms. Aziz I’m going to lay out my terms, my conditions, and my rules?” Derek continued. “Well, as a starting point, let’s build on that. Except instead of me, let’s make those your terms, your conditions, your rules.”

“And you think she’s just going to agree to that despite not having done it before?”

“Hell, no!” The older man snorted. “I think she’s going to fight you tooth and nail, like she always has. But this time… you need to start off by establishing some ironclad boundaries with Ms. Aziz. Boundaries you don’t back down from. Listen, she either wants to be with you the same way you want, or she’s just been using you all this time because she could. Because you’re a pushover, and that doesn’t square with the woman I’ve seen at all.”

“Seems like she’s gotten away with it so far.” Kurt tried not to let bitterness bleed into the observation.

“Yeah, and you want to know why?” Derek pointed his finger. “Because you let her.”

Kurt narrowed his eyes. “So… what are you saying? This is all my fault? I told her more than once?—”

Derek made a dismissive brush of his hand. “I’m sure you told her a lot of things, but I’m betting you never once, Mr. Ellery, never once backed them up with action. You let it slide, because by your own admission, the good times were enough to gloss over the bad. And you can get all butthurt and try to explain away all the whys and wherefores, but none of that makes any of what I just said less true. You care for this woman; I can see that clear as day. So, as an old friend of mine used to say, it’s shit or get off the pot time. You owe that as much to her as to yourself.”

This isn’t my fault. Ire tugged Kurt’s jaw taut, but a tiny voice in the back of his head couldn’t be ignored.

Yes, it is.

Not entirely, but Derek was right; he had given Dana a get-out-of-jail-free card time after time. Because… he loved being her friend. Being with her. Being a part of her life. He’d told her the truth this morning: he loved her. But he couldn’t go on loving her the way he had if she wasn’t willing to meet him halfway.

“Fine. So, I own part of this, but I’m not bullshitting you; something’s got to give. My current relationship with Dana isn’t sustainable the way it’s going right now.”

“So, make your decision, then stand by it. Don’t let her bat those pretty little bedroom eyes of hers and convince you it’ll be different next time. Because it won’t, that’s clear. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own experience, it’s this: nothing good’s gonna come from approaching this half-assed. You either need to decide this is the path you want to take and stick to it or cut your losses now and walk away entirely.”

“That seems awfully severe.”

“I’d call it being realistic. You’ve tried dealing with things as they currently stand, and that isn’t working, is it?”

“No.”

“Then…”

“I suppose you’re right. Whatever plan we come up with… it’s either going to work, or it’s going to fail spectacularly. And whichever way it ends…” He gave Derek a fatalistic sigh.

“I’m gonna get exactly what I deserve.”

CHAPTER 15

Dana

Clay.

Dana rolled the small lump of material she’d taken from the sapphire mine between her fingers. To ninety-nine out of one hundred people that was exactly what they would call the ball of gray, gummy material she held in her hand. Clay. Like the stuff you could buy off the shelf at any Joann’s or Michaels. But she knew exactly what it was, what it contained. In the twenty-first century, the sample in her palm was worth potential millions, an amalgamate she was certain contained traces of rare earth minerals used to manufacture everything from iPhones to Teslas.

She carefully placed the gray substance back in the plastic bag she’d taken it from. There’d been a day when nothing could excite her more than knowing what she’d done, finding the sample she’d just put away. So why didn’t it seem that way right now? Why wasn’t there that same thrill that used to be almost a drug? Why did it feel lackluster, anticlimactic? Why was there this sense that something was… missing?

Kurt. Because Kurt wasn’t here right now, sharing this moment of what should be triumph. He was still off being angry, pouting that she’d done what she’d always done and proven her worth. He was being an asshole this time, far more than he’d been in the past, with his veiled threats of leaving and “you gotta agree to allow me to discipline you” bullshit. It was asinine and childish, and he needed to get over himself, like he'd done all the times before.

But what if he doesn’t?

That startled her, because… that hadn’t ever happened previously, and the idea of Kurt not being there with her was more than unnerving. He… he wouldn’t do that. He merely needed time to calm down, get over his irrational behavior, right?

Right?

“Discipline you.” The same tiny electric current that had danced over her nerves before when Kurt had brought the subject up did so again now. Dana gritted her teeth because the very suggestion of disciplining her for… what? Being right? For being successful at what she did? It was ludicrous. The fact was, though, deep down beyond her denial there was something whispering to her. An undertone that beckoned seductively that maybe she did need—no, not need, want—discipline, and the call was alluring.

And insane.

She tossed the baggie onto her bed with a frustrated growl. This was dumb. If Kurt needed to get over himself, she needed to pull her head out, too, because dwelling on this was pointless. He was just irritated in the same way he had been in the past, only this time the difference was he was making all these alpha male “things have gotta change” and “you need discipline” bullshit comments. He’d get over it. All she needed to do was stop herself from turning what he’d said into an obsession, and she’d prove to herself she was right. Again.

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