Page 54 of Disciplining Dana

Assuming he took one at all. Assuming he’s not in his room, ignoring you. Or…

Gone.

No. Dana might fear what Kurt had threatened, might worry that it wasn’t merely a threat born out of his current frustration, but she absolutely couldn’t believe for a second that he’d abandon her. That… that wasn’t something she could ever see him doing.

No, he was here. The question was… where?

The mine. The words came through without thought, and before she realized it, her legs were carrying her that direction. Why he’d go back there made no sense, but that’s where she headed, and it was as good a direction as any at this point.

The gravel path wove among pines and patches of rich earth, interspersed here and there with an occasional bench. That’s where she found him, seated in a small turnout beyond where the path branched at a small sign that said, “Employee Housing”.

“There you are.”

Kurt looked up, a wan smile creasing his face. “Hey.”

“What are you doing out here?” Dana asked as she moved to sit beside him.

He didn’t answer immediately, instead stared off toward the mountains. Turning to look where he was, she found the sun was up enough to cast dappled bands of light against the shag of the pines, the mountainside scored with dark swathes in the vees of the canyons where light hadn’t quite reached yet.

“Do you remember when we worked that location in Norway?” he asked after a long moment, breaking the quiet that lay between them.

She scrunched her brow, thinking back. “Kirkenes?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “There.”

“What about it?”

He leaned against the back of the bench. “Remember the hike we took up that canyon to the top of the hill? Where you were looking for that trace you’d mapped out.”

She sighed. “First of all, that wasn’t a hill, it was a mountain,” she said. “Second of all, we were looking for a trace, not just me.”

“It was beautiful that day,” he said wistfully. “Not too cold, not too warm, with just enough breeze to make it brisk. I know we”—he glanced at her pointedly—“were supposed to be looking for the indication, but I kept looking at the landscape around us. The crystalline blue of a sky that didn’t seem real, how green and alive everything was, like something out of one of those coffee table photobooks you look at and swear the photographer must have manipulated every shot. I can see every detail in my head, and I remember one thing more than anything else…” He looked over at her. “You.”

“Kurt…” His name came out as a breath, almost a whisper.

He pointed to the mountains. “I was sitting here thinking about that day. I’ll always remember it. I’ve had some incredible experiences with you, Dana, but that day… that was the day I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“How I felt about you,” he said quietly.

“How you felt about me?”

“Mmhmm.”

Anxiety prickled at her nerves. “Kurt, what are you trying to say?” she asked softly. “Are you trying to tell me… you’re in love with me?”

He let out a strangled laugh. “Oh my God, Dana. Of course I love you. How could I not love you after everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve shared? But…”

“But?”

“But I’m not in love with you. You… you make that impossible.”

What? Impossible?

Her anxiety took a sudden hard left. She started to open her mouth to protest, but he raised his hand, cutting her off.

“Listen, we’ve both made it clear what we’ve wanted out of this relationship. And despite what you may be thinking right now, I’m not trying to pressure you to be in a relationship relationship with me. That’s not what this is about.”

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