Page 43 of Claimed By the Damned

While she hadn’t come over intending to talk to him, let alone prepared for it, she was glad they were finally having this conversation. Even if it was painful. It was something that had been needing to happen for a while now. He was always so hot and cold toward her, and it was playing with her emotions.

“I’m trying to accept it. I really am. It’s just… not easy.”

“Then just reject me already!” she exclaimed loudly, her emotions finally getting the best of her. “Because this back-and-forth thing fucking hurts!”

Much to her surprise, Drake flinched at her volume and turned his gaze down to the floor. “Don’t you think I want to?” he asked, his voice soft. “Don’t you think it would be easier if I did?” His jaw was firm as he met her eyes again. “You’re all I think about. I can’t just let you go.”

As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that this thing between them wasn’t going to go anywhere anytime soon, and she had enough to deal with when it came to her father. She didn’t need to deal with Drake’s inability to make a decision on top of that. There was really only one thing left for her to do, even if it was going to suck.

“Then let me do it for you,” she stated, attempting to sound as confident as possible when she was feeling anything but. “I’m done. I’m done taking your attitude. I’m done with you treating me like shit, and I’m done being your fucking fleshlight. Find someone else to satisfy your needs because it’s not going to be me. Not anymore.”

Drake’s eyes widened at the realization of what she was trying to do before they narrowed. “I’ve tried that too. I can’t do it. All I want is you, and I can’t have you!”

Amara decided to ignore his admission about trying to find someone else to sleep with. Thinking about it hurt too much, and she needed to stay on track. “That’s just it, Drake. You could! You could have me if you really wanted me. But apparently, I’m just not good enough for you!” She sighed and shook her head, an angry tear rolling down her cheek. She had tried to keep the tears at bay, but it was a losing fight. She knew that now. “Did you ever stop to think about how it makes me feel when the only time you can tolerate me is when your dick is inside of me? My dad already treats me like a whore. I don’t need that shit from you too.”

“Stop comparing me to your father,” he growled in warning, his hands clenching at his sides. His whole body was tense, the muscles of his chest and abs bunching. His anger was rising, but there wasn’t anything she could do about that. This was on him. He was the one insisting on playing games.

“Then stop acting like him!” she screamed.

His nostrils flared as he took a step toward her. Every instinct was telling her to run, but she held her ground and lifted her chin to hold his gaze. “I don’t beat you, Amara.”

Amara flinched involuntarily. Her face drained of color, and his words felt like a slap to the face. He knew. He knew the truth, and she hated it. She had no idea how he figured it out, but it didn’t matter anymore.

If he noticed her reaction, he either didn’t let on, or he didn’t care as he took another step in her direction. “Because that’s what he does, right? He hits you?”

She swallowed around the lump in her throat. “What he does or doesn’t do to me isn’t your concern anymore, is it? You don’t want me, and I’m done with whatever sick and twisted game you are playing with me.”

“I never said I didn’t want you. I said I couldn’t have you.”

She laughed, but there was no humor to the sound. Her heart was numb now, every good feeling she’d ever had about this guy disappearing with every hateful, hurtful thing he said to her. “I’m right fucking here, asshole. I’ve accepted this thing between us, even though I have far more to lose than you do. The only person who feels like you can’t have me is you.”

“You have no idea what it’s like to be me,” he stated, folding his arms across his chest. “You have no idea what is going on in my head.”

“You’re right, I don’t. But only because you are choosing not to let me understand. Instead of telling me why you can’t accept this, all you do is hide it. Unless you need me to relieve some of your pent-up frustration. I didn’t ask for this either, you know. I was getting by on my own, I was surviving.” She looked up at him, her tears falling more freely now. “My father may hit me, he may beat me and belittle me, but what you’ve done? That hurts far worse than anything he’s ever done to me, and I haven’t done a damn thing to deserve that.”

“You came in here like a whirlwind, Amara. We were doing just fine, and you popped up, stirred up our routine and life, and my past, and now everything is a mess. Excuse me for not submitting to it, for trying to resist it.”

She nodded solemnly, feeling far more confident now with her decision to end this. “You are not the only one with a past, Drake. And you’re not the only one whose life has been upended by this whole thing. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m such a burden. I’m sorry that I’m ruining your life. I can’t speak for Knox and Zeke, but I won’t be an issue for you anymore. I’ll stay away from you, I’ll stay out of your way. I… I release you from whatever obligation you feel for me because of this stupid bond.”

She had tried, she really did. But she just couldn’t bring herself to say the words ‘I reject you’. It was the right thing to do, the only thing left to do, but she couldn’t do it. Maybe that made her weak, but she was doing the best she could. Judging from the look in his eyes, she was pretty sure he got the message though.

“It’s not an obligation. It’s an obsession. One that’s brought up old memories,” Drake snapped. After a few moments, he sighed and unfolded his arms from his chest. “Just give me time. I need time to wrap my head around all this. It’s sudden and uprooting, and it scares the fuck out of me. I just… I need time.”

Amara gave him a sad, watery smile, her heart breaking into a thousand pieces in her chest, knowing that this was it. This was the end of the bond between her and Drake. It was officially over, and that thought was both freeing and absolutely gutting. It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was what they both needed. They were no good for each other.

“No amount of time is going to change your past, Drake. No amount of time is going to make this bond easier to swallow. The only way you are going to get past it is by making peace with it,” she replied. “I’ve tried, you know. I’ve tried to be there for you, to be patient and understanding. But this hot and cold thing you do to me tears me down more and more every single time. If I don’t cut this off now, then there will be nothing left of me. I just don’t have any more time left to give. I’m sorry.”

Hesitantly, Amara stepped up to him and cupped his cheek with her hand. His eyes were wide and full of disbelief that she was rejecting the bond between them, but she refused to acknowledge it. This was the best thing for both of them. Saying goodbye was the only way either one of them would be able to start moving on. Standing on her toes, she gently pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Take care of yourself, Drake,” she whispered against his skin. “I really hope that whatever happened to you in the past doesn’t plague your future.”

With that, she turned and rushed out of the apartment, hoping to make it back to her shop before she finally broke down.

Chapter Nineteen

Amara

The rest of the day had been daunting. She was still so emotional and hurt after her run-in with Drake that she’d barely paid attention to what the day had to offer. Honestly, she had not planned on breaking things off with him in the manner that she did, but she didn’t see any other option. She stood by what she said, and no amount of time was going to change things. All it would do was string her along, allowing her to get more attached, only to have him continuously hurt her.

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