Page 62 of The Billionaire's Masquerade Ball

Chapter 17

Xander had thought he had finished apologizing for the day when he looked up and saw her standing in the doorway. He had an immediate spike of emotion seeing her, but it was short-lived. He was halfway out of his chair when reality crashed into him: This was not the woman he wanted to walk through the door.

And now he was going to have to apologize to one more woman for hurting her. She had come here thinking that he wanted her, when the only woman he wanted would probably never walk through his door again.

Xander sat back down and capped the pen he had been using to finalize the contract he had just signed with Gail. Sighing, he looked at the woman and gestured to a chair across the conference table from him.

“Would you like to sit?”

She pulled out the chair and sat down, keeping her hands in her lap. He hadn’t expected her to come. With a sense of dark irony, Xander realized that Cynder had accomplished the challenge he gave her within his time frame. She passed the interview. She could have the job. If he hadn’t fired her first.

He closed his eyes, but only for a second or two. He didn’t want to draw this out.

“I’ve made a lot of apologies today, but it doesn’t get easier.” He paused, searching for the right words. But there really weren’t the right words when it came to apologies. It was really just about being sincere. “I am so sorry that you came down here today. This was not my idea and I should have put a stop to it.”

Xander looked across the table at the woman. With the mask making it hard to see her eyes, he couldn’t read any expression on her face. She was so still. Was she in shock? She hadn’t seemed happy when he saw her standing in the doorway. Why had she come if she wasn’t interested?

He felt like he was missing something. It was definitely the same woman he had met: same mask, same dress, same silky brown hair and full lips. He was ashamed now to remember that he’d wanted to kiss her, even though they had just met. Something about her was trying to trigger some memory, but he couldn’t quite get it to surface.

He was taking too long, dragging this out. Xander gave her a tight smile. “I’m really sorry, but I’m not interested in reconnecting with you. This was a huge mistake and I’m sorry if I hurt you through all of this.”

When she didn’t speak or move, Xander fumbled for words to say. It seemed like she was waiting for something. He could see tension across the line of her shoulders and the tendons in her neck seemed to even be visibly taut.

“Why?” The sound of her whispered question, startled him. Even though the sound was slight, a wave of emotion coated the single word.

Xander flinched and looked down at the table, spinning the pen across its smooth surface. “That’s a fair question.”

Xander struggled to form the words that would explain his feelings. Allowing himself to have feelings was so new that describing them to other people felt completely foreign. Not that he owed this woman a full explanation, but his guilt made him feel like he did. The least he could do for her was give her the truth.

Running a hand over his beard, Xander met her gaze. She leaned forward now, hands on the table and her chin tilted toward him, waiting. “I met someone else this week,” Xander started. “That night, actually, just after I met you. I didn’t realize what was happening at first, but the more I was around her, the more I wanted to be around her. The more I let my walls down. But it was complicated. I gave her a job, which meant I couldn’t technically date her. And in trying to keep my walls up, I had asked her to look for you. She set this up. So, I guess in the end, she isn’t interested in me if she was trying to help me find you.”

Xander shook his head and chuckled. The sound was more pained than pleasant. “This all sounds so stupid when I say it out loud. My assistant said I was making this more complicated than I needed to and I think he was right. I’m sorry again that you came all the way down here. I’m going to have to go. I have one more apology to make today.”

Standing, Xander pushed aside his chair, expecting her to stand and go. She didn’t moved. A flash of familiar blue caught his eye and Xander looked at the woman’s hands, folded over one another on the table. He was so used to seeing the splint that it took him several seconds to connect its significance. Sucking in a breath, he paused, clutching the back of a chair.

His eyes went straight to her face. She was smiling now. How had he not seen it? The combination of the mask and her hair being down around her face made Cynder look different. But now that he stared with intensity, it was so obvious. He couldn’t believe that he missed this.

“You,” he said, voice low and breathy.

Careful of her splint, Cynder lifted the mask, tucking it into her hair like a headband. “Me.”

Her eyes glittered with tears, but she was still smiling. With a quick and unplanned motion, Xander vaulted himself over the conference table and pulled Cynder to her feet, looking at her hair, her familiar face, the dress that flattered her figure perfectly.

She bit her lip, looking up at him. “Are you … disappointed?”

“Are you crazy?”

Xander pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, feeling the thump of her heartbeat at his chest. He had longed to do just this for days now, to hold her in his arms. She felt like she was made to fit right there with him.

His chest ached a little, thinking of the other woman who had felt so right. He and Sarah had been so young. The guilt he always imagined he would feel if he moved on wasn’t there. Instead, he felt a strange sense of release and rightness. Sarah would have wanted this for him. She loved him enough that she would have wanted him to love and be loved.

“I should have realized it was you,” Xander said, stroking her hair. “I can’t believe I didn’t. And I should never have asked you to look for some other woman. Though I feel less bad now that it’s you. I was just jealous of Wyatt that first day. You guys seemed to get along so well and I thought you might like him. I was trying to get back at you.”

“Real mature,” she said, smiling.

“Coming from the woman who lied about her secret identity all week, I don’t feel like you can really say much.”

“True. I think we were both a little idiotic,” Cynder said. She tried to pull back, but he held on tighter and felt her breath against his neck as she laughed. The feeling of it sent a rush of feeling through his body, warming his chest and making desire coil low in his belly.

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