Page 8 of The Billionaire Benefactor

Blake stepped closer to Jenny and gave her a smile. “Don’t worry about Roman,” he said. “He’s used to muscling his way through things. Doesn’t always stop to think. What do you think you’d like help with? We’re happy to do what you need.”

Jenny sighed, not realizing how she’d been holding her breath. “Thank you. I guess…I mean, the backyard does need sod. I’m trying to put it on the market, but it looks terrible. The last hurricane we had left standing water back there and it all died after. My husband didn’t—we just—”

“It’s okay,” Blake said. “You don’t need to explain. What else? And don’t hold back. We’re good for an afternoon of manual labor. Or whatever you need. Okay?”

His smile instantly made Jenny feel better, especially after Roman’s pointed comments about the house made her feel so on edge. She shouldn’t take it so personally. Hank hadn’t been good about keeping up with anything house-related, but now that he was gone, Jenny felt like it all fell on her. These guys probably all lived in mansions with housekeepers and landscapers. She couldn’t imagine what they probably thought about her, letting the house fall into disrepair.

Jenny nodded to Blake, but looked away so he wouldn’t see the start of tears in her eyes. His kindness at just the right moment was unexpected.

“Thank you,” she said, when she knew she could talk without crying. “I guess it doesn’t matter what you do. Roman’s right—there are a lot of projects. I didn’t mean to get defensive about it. Honestly, I don’t know what you could get done in an afternoon. If you see something and want to do it, go ahead. I’m planning to put the house on the market, so I need it to be presentable, but I don’t want to dump too much money into it.”

Tony nodded. “Got it. Hey, Matt—want to come help us outside?”

“Sure!” Matt almost darted across the room, but at ten, was moving into that awareness of being cool, so Jenny could see him forcing himself to slow down.

Jenny glanced over at the couch, where Lucy had been way too quiet. She had fallen asleep. Normally Jenny would wake her so it wouldn’t mess up her bedtime, but these days, she was letting everything go. The kids were watching too much TV, playing on the iPad more, sleeping at more odd hours. It was so hard to keep to a routine or even to the same rules or methods of discipline. She knew that Lucy and Matt were both dealing with their father’s loss in a different way than she was. They didn’t have the complicated adult parts to deal with—just the simple love of children for their father.

Her heart twisted. She wished it were that simple for her. No one but her best friend Denise knew that she and Hank were hardly speaking before he died. So now she felt stuck in having to play the grieving widow, when things were so much more complicated than that. Of course she was grieving Hank’s death, but it was a complex sadness. She’d been so angry with him. He’d hurt her so badly and never tried to make it right. That didn’t mean she wanted him dead.

Yet in some practical ways, his loss made her life easier. She hated to even think this, but it was true. They were about to start divorce proceedings, which meant legal things, fees, and finally telling the kids. His death saved her from the continued heartache of their failed relationship. She was thankful for this but would have traded it and gone through all the hardship to have him live.

Jenny looked out the kitchen window to see Roman Bennett, star player for the Roughnecks and Houston’s most beloved bachelor, starting up a push-mower, while Tony and Blake surveyed the yard with her son. A wave of emotion rolled over her and she leaned over the sink, feeling suddenly dizzy and nauseated.

She pressed her cheek to the cool granite counter, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down to normal. After a few minutes, the nausea passed.

She would get through this. Her complicated feelings about losing Hank and the weight of having to take care of everything would ease over time. But for now, she was struggling. People from church had been bringing food and giving sympathetic looks, but these strangely made Jenny feel more alienated, like she was separate from everyone else. She felt visibly marked by loss, like people could see it on her, and it changed the way they talked to her and saw her.

Jenny had never felt so isolated.

Tiny came out from under the table and pressed his cold nose against her hand. She sighed and rested her hand on his head. He leaned into her and she braced against his weight. It was a small comfort, but it was something. Other than Tiny, Jenny hadn’t had much physical touch. People gave her stiff hugs at church and Lucy was still young enough that she climbed into her lap and would hold her hand, but even Matt was pulling away. Hank hadn’t touched her in months.

Watching Roman zoom through the little grass in the backyard with the mower, her cheeks flushed thinking of how she’d been shoved into his chest earlier by Tiny. She had wondered before what it would feel like to be wrapped in his arms, staring up at the poster on Matt’s wall. Even more when he first stood on her porch the day before. She seethed about his stupid big check, but still had felt drawn to him. Today she actually had been in his arms, thanks to Tiny. She really should thank her dog, because there’s no way she would have ever hugged Roman on her own. Though humiliating, she also reveled in the memory.

For that minute, Jenny had felt safe and secure. It stoked that desire to be cared for—the thing that she kept trying to push down. Jenny was so good at convincing herself that she didn’t need anyone and could do it on her own. But her body, feeling Roman’s strong arms circling around her, betrayed her, waking up to want more. She hadn’t realized how much she had been missing physical affection—simple things like hand-holding, hugging, or being touched at all, until her arms had been wrapped around Roman’s waist as Tiny pushed up against the backs of her legs. Being in Roman’s arms had been incredibly comforting, but it left her feeling unsatisfied.

And there was nothing she could do to fix that. She was a widow. A very recent widow, no matter what state her marriage had been in when Hank died. It was way too soon to start hungering for someone to make her feel loved. And with her kids, she couldn’t even begin to think about bringing a new man into their lives. Especially not someone like Roman Bennett. Not that he’d ever be interested. Mostly he seemed irritated. She didn’t blame him. Twice she’d slammed the door in his face. Her dog peed on him. And then she snapped at him when he came to help.

She was a mess. Maybe there was a good reason to never meet your celebrity crush. Or to have one at all.

Sighing, she scratched Tiny’s ears. “At least I’ve got you,” she said. “Even if you are a bed hog.”

---