Page 62 of Endless Obsession

The blood swirls in the water, pooling around me, turning pink as it slides down the drain. I watch it listlessly, and as the exhaustion swims over me, I realize that I have another problem. One that I didn’t think of until right this second, as I watch my own blood swirl down my shower drain.

There’s no way I can go on a date with Charlotte tomorrow, looking like this.

19

CHARLOTTE

When I wake up in the morning, my head aches as if I have a hangover, even though I really didn’t drink all that much last night. I feel groggy and off, and I sit up slowly, running my hands through my hair and rubbing my fingers across my scalp as I try to gather my thoughts.

I had hoped that when I woke up, I’d see everything a bit more clearly. That I’d feel more rational about it all. But I can’t shake the leaden feeling in my heart every time I remember that Ivan was at the gala with another woman, even though he was so insistent that they weren’t really together. And then, when I remember seeing Nate there with his gorgeous date, there’s a sinking feeling added to that.

Scrubbing my hands through my hair again, I slide out of bed, going to the shower. Twenty minutes later, I emerge feeling a little less groggy and slightly more hopeful that Ivan and I will be able to talk this all out when we see each other in a few hours—and then I see my phone next to my bed, lit up with a series of messages.

Sarah: How are you feeling this morning, babe? Is everything alright?

Zoe: I want pictures of the dress. ASAP. I might use you for some marketing, if that’s ok. Also, how was the party??

Nate: I’m sorry, Char. If I’d known you would be there last night, I would have warned you. I promise, she’s just a coworker…

Nate: Char, c’mon. I know you want to talk after seeing me there last night. Just call me.

Jaz: Sarah told me Nate was there. Are you okay, babe?

Ivan: Charlotte, I’m so sorry. I’m not feeling well. I think I might have eaten something off last night. I can’t make our date today. But if you’ll text me back, we can reschedule?

The last message sends my heart plummeting to my feet, and I’m struck with the sudden urge to hurl my phone across the room as tears burn at the back of my eyes.

He was lying to me last night. He must have been. I sink down onto the edge of the bed, trying to control my rioting emotions and failing.

The truth is, I realize as I look over the texts, I’ve let myself get too invested in this budding romance with Ivan, too quickly. And I knew I would. That’s why I stuck to my guns so hard about the whole exclusivity thing. But even though I tried to set boundaries for myself and for him, I was jealous last night, when I had no right to be. And that, plus my reaction to him rescheduling, is a sign that I need to take a big step back.

I quickly text Sarah, letting her know that I’m fine and thanking her again for taking me, apologizing for leaving so early. I shoot Zoe a message promising her photos, and ask Jaz if she wants to meet for lunch. Nate’s messages I ignore. And then I sit there, rereading Ivan’s text, chewing on my lip as I type out a response.

Charlotte: It’s fine. Hope you feel better. Maybe next weekend.

By the time I’ve made myself coffee, my phone has buzzed a number of times. Jaz is down for lunch, although she’s clearly concerned about my canceled date, and I see a response from Ivan.

Ivan: I’m so, so sorry, Charlotte. You have no idea. I wouldn’t cancel if I could make it, I promise.

I want to believe him. I really do. But instead of answering, I just fire off a couple of lunch suggestions to Jaz, and curl up on my couch with a muffin and my cup of coffee, taking a couple of painkillers with it to ease my headache.

By one, I’m sitting across from Jaz at our favorite Thai spot, a steaming bowl of tom yum soup in front of me, the fragrant steam making me feel remarkably better before I’ve even started eating it.

“So he canceled?” Jaz looks at me sympathetically. “I’m sorry, babe. I know you were really excited.”

“I was.” I drag my spoon through the soup. “He says he’s too sick to make it, but I saw him at the gala last night, and he looked fine?—”

“What?” Jaz drops her fork, leaning forward with interest. “Sarah told me about Nate, but not about Ivan being there?—”

“I didn’t say anything about it,” I admit. “She was sure I was all shaken up about Nate being there with that woman, and I didn’t have the energy to explain the rest of it. I just wanted to go home by that point.”

“Understandable. But what was Ivan doing there?”

“I don’t know. I—-he’s wealthy, obviously. There must have been some connection.” I explain all of it to her—my escape up to the balcony, finding Ivan there, the woman that was with him. “He said they weren’t there together. Just that she was with him because his father wanted him to take her. And to be honest, she really didn’t seem to give a shit that I was talking to him?—”

“Well, I mean, if you were just talking—” Jaz gives me a pointed look, and I can feel my face flush a little.

“He kissed me.” I don’t think I need to elaborate; I’m pretty sure the look on my face and how red my cheeks are will tell Jaz everything she needs to know about that kiss. And from the smirk on her face, it has.

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