Page 38 of Endless Obsession

Too naive, probably, to be going down this path. But I can’t stop now. Not when I feel like I’m on the verge of uncovering so much more that I never knew I could have.

And, as my brain clears, that other part of me takes over. The more daring part. The part that agreed to the date with Ivan today, the part that flirted a little with this man at the beginning of the conversation. A part of me that I never knew existed before, that can be coy, flirtatious, and teasing.

One that I want to keep exploring.

CuriousDove24: How would I type if I were doing that? ;)

A smile spreads across my lips as I sit back, waiting for his response. This is a site meant for sex, but I want a little flirtation, too. And now I want to see what he’ll say back. If he’s just gotten what he wanted, too, and will disappear.

Venom69xxx: You tell me, dove.

CuriousDove24: Are you going to punish me if I lie?

I feel another flutter of arousal through my stomach as I type it. Is that something I would want, too? I don’t know—but this feels like a way to explore it. A way to test if I would want a man who I lied to about something like that to find out, and punish me. To spank me, maybe, or tie me up and tease me?—

Venom69xxx: Would you like it if I did?

CuriousDove24: I don’t know. I think I might.

Venom69xxx: So tell me the truth, dove, or I’ll have to think of a way to punish you, the next time we talk.

CuriousDove24: You think about that, Venom.

I log off abruptly, my heart racing. The next time we talk. I had expected anyone that I talked to would be a one-off thing, that I wouldn’t run into the same person twice. But he makes it sound like he’s going to be waiting to see that I’ve logged on again.

Like I’ve caught his attention enough that he’s going to be waiting for me.

After feeling like a second thought for so long, that feels heady. The rush of it feels like it could be addictive. I bite my lip as I look at my now-dark laptop screen, feeling more than a little shocked by what I just did. Like that night out with Jaz, it’s beyond anything I’ve ever even thought of doing before.

I get up, leaving my wine glass on the desk as I go to take a shower before bed. Another small rebellion, since Nate was always so particular about having the apartment perfectly clean at all times. But he doesn’t live here any longer. I do. And if I want to leave my wine glass out until the morning, I will.

There’s no one here to tell me what to do any longer.

Not unless I want there to be.

12

IVAN

If I thought I was on the way to being obsessed with Charlotte before, it’s nothing compared to how I feel after that chat. There’s no going back now.

Everything that happens after she logs off is quick and messy, my arousal driven to the point that all it takes is a few harsh strokes and the memory of her hinting that she might want me to punish her, and I’m covering my hand with my cum. Minutes later, as I’m in the bathroom upstairs washing up, I look up into the mirror and let out a sharp breath, gripping the edge of the sink.

What the fuck am I doing?

I know this only ends badly. I want more of her. And I’ve created the perfect way to have her—both possibly in real life, as myself, where I can play the gentleman she’s told herself she wants…and online, where I can be the depraved masked man that she’s allowing herself to fantasize about more and more.

The man created from a night that she doesn’t even realize was me.

It’s twisted and fucked-up, and I know it is. I know it’s wrong. But I want all of her. I want her pretty and sophisticated on her lunch break, and I want her tipsy and daring and wicked. I want her buttoned-up, and I want her messy. I want to know every facet of her, and this is the perfect way to do exactly that.

In real life, I’ll get to find out who the Charlotte is that everyone else sees. I’ll get to find out who she is as a woman—a real woman.

And online, I’ll slowly pull the threads of who she wants to be, and unravel all those fantasies until I uncover her darker side. A side that just might want me, no matter who I really am.

Shit. I look up at my reflection, shaking my head at myself, but my thoughts are already running off to a place that I know is impossible. Charlotte would never fit into my world, and I should never want her to. I should never want to bring someone so beautiful, so naive, so normal into the fucked-up criminal underground of the Bratva. Into a world that thrives on breaking and using women, even if I’ve never done that myself. Someone will want to. And if I ever failed to protect her, I could never live with myself.

But my mind is already spinning the fantasy. Deep down, I know if she ever finds out that these three men—the masked man at the club, Ivan, and Venom—are the same man, she won’t want me. I know she wouldn’t want a man who is a part of the Bratva. But if I make her fall for me before she ever knows, if I make her admit all her deepest desires to me, and if I show her how those pieces of myself connect…

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