Page 63 of Endless Obsession

“Okay, so what’s the problem?” she shrugs, twirling noodles around her fork, and I sigh.

“The problem is that he canceled on me today. Claiming to be sick, when like—sixteen hours ago I saw him at a gala, with another woman, and he was perfectly fine.”

Jaz frowns, stabbing a piece of chicken. “Look, Charlotte, you know I’m never one to give men the benefit of the doubt. But he seemed really into you. That first date went great, and from the look on your face, that kiss was pretty great, too. So maybe he really is sick. Maybe he drank too much and got a bad hangover. Maybe he really did eat something that didn’t agree with him.” She gives me a lopsided smile. “It’s worth giving him a chance, Charlotte. He seems like a pretty good guy.”

“Yeah, he does.” I let out a sigh, taking a bite of the coconut lemongrass soup and letting it soothe me. “I’ll let him stew on it a little and then reschedule the date.”

“Attagirl.” Jaz grins. “Now, what are we doing with the rest of the day, now that you’re all mine for it?”

Jaz and I end up going to a movie instead and grabbing dinner after, and then I drift home, trying not to think about what Ivan and I could be doing right now if he hadn’t stood me up. The urge to text him is strong, but I do my best to resist it, focusing on other things instead. Catching up on TV shows, drinking a cup of tea, taking a hot bath. Anything that I can do to relax and unwind instead of thinking about how last night, and Ivan’s subsequent cancellation of our date, makes me feel.

Feeling rebellious, I pour myself a glass of wine after my bath, and sit down at my laptop, logging onto the chat site. I haven’t gotten onto it in days, because I felt guilty after my date with Ivan. Now, I feel like I need something to remind me not to get so caught up in him. He’s already disappointed me once, and I don’t want to count on him so much that I miss out on getting to explore. That’s what I wanted out of my dating life for a while post-Nate, after all—exploration.

I bite my lip as I log on, seeing Venom’s name in bold, telling me he’s online. A hot flare of jealousy licks through me, wondering if he’s talking to someone else, and I quickly click on his name before doing anything else. All I want right now is for him to talk me through the pleasure that I want to lose myself in.

I want to feel that adrenaline rush, that feeling of doing something bad that I’ve never allowed myself before.

CuriousDove24: What are you doing tonight?

A moment goes by, and my chest tightens, wondering if he really is busy talking to someone else. Or maybe watching someone else’s video on the site. Maybe he doesn’t think of me as soon as he logs on, the way I think of him every time I think about this site.

And then his name pops up—and a second later, a picture.

Venom69xxx: I wasn’t really doing anything. Just hanging around, thinking about you. But now that I know you’re here?—

The picture is dark, but it’s unmistakably his hand wrapped around his hard, exposed cock. And he’s fucking huge. Long and thick, bigger than any dick I’ve ever seen. I swallow hard, my mouth going dry, staring at the picture for so long that when the wind picks up outside, smacking a tree branch against my window, I jump and let out an embarrassing squeak.

I’m glad he wasn’t actually here to hear that.

Venom69xxx: Did I scare you off, dove? I’m sorry if that was too much, but I thought you’d like to see what you do to me.

Venom69xxx: Just thinking about you gets me this hard. I can’t imagine how it would feel if you were here in front of me.

CuriousDove24: No, I just—you caught me off guard. It’s so big.

Venom69xxx: Mm, that’s what every man wants to hear, dove. I wish I could hear that from your lips. Telling me while you’re on your knees how big my cock is. Looking up at me with those pretty eyes, all worried you won’t be able to fit it all in your mouth.

The next image that comes through isn’t an image at all. It’s a brief, few-second clip of his hand, sliding up and down his length. I can hear the wet sound of him stroking, and my thighs squeeze together, as I can’t help but imagine that sound is coming from my mouth around him, or from him thrusting into me.

I play the clip again, biting my lip as I rub my fingers over the outside of my panties, teasing myself. His hand is covered in tattoos, but the picture is dark and angled in a way that I can’t really tell what they are. I imagine it’s on purpose—this is supposed to be anonymous, after all. But I can’t imagine he’s actually anywhere near me. He probably lives in an entirely different country. The possibility of me running into him is astronomical.

Venom69xxx: Did you really save your Saturday night for me, dove?

I start to tell him that yes, I did. It’s not true, but this is all a fantasy, and I feel strange admitting that I actually had plans to spend it with someone else. Venom is hardly someone who would care, but I don’t want to tell him he was my second choice.

Before I can stop myself, I start to type out the truth. It’s not sexy, and it’s not a part of what we’re doing here—-but I can’t bring myself to make up the story that I should. What’s wrong with me? I feel like something is. Like I’m obsessing over someone’s feelings who couldn’t care less what I was really going to do tonight, who doesn’t know who I am, who is barely real to me and me to him. Just like I was jealous over Ivan, when he’s not mine to be jealous of.

CuriousDove24: I was supposed to go on an apple orchard date today. But he stood me up. I guess I was lonely.

Venom69xxx: He’s an idiot, then. I can tell you what I’d do if you asked me out on a date like that, dove.

I have a feeling that whatever it is, it won’t be as innocent as the date that I was supposed to have with Ivan. But I ask, anyway, because now I’m too curious to back out.

CuriousDove24: What would you do?

Venom69xxx: Well, for one, I wouldn’t screw it up like that guy. We’d go on the date, dove. Pick apples together like a cute little couple. But then, later that night, we’d sneak back in. When it’s dark and quiet, and there’s no one else there but us. And then?—

The screen goes quiet for a moment, and I swallow hard, the wind outside of my window making my skin prickle. I’m suddenly nervous, jumpy, as if I really am outside in a dark orchard with this man that I don’t know. My heart is beating faster, and I feel that ache between my legs intensifying, the need to touch myself building until I don’t know if I can take it much longer. But I wait, wanting the tease. The torment. And I know what I’m really waiting for is for him to tell me to do it.

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