Page 31 of Endless Obsession

This is an opportunity to give her a taste of who I really am. A way to be with her as myself, without her ever knowing that all three of these men are the same.

Quickly, I pull up the site on another of my monitors, logging on. I look for her username, and open up the messenger, typing out a quick message.

Venom69xxx: I haven’t seen you here before.

For a moment, I wonder if she’s even going to respond. A new user, especially a woman, is going to be flooded with messages. The thought that she might have answered someone else’s request first makes my blood burn all over again, but I take a breath, forcing myself to stay calm. To ignore all my baser instincts before they ruin this for me.

And then I see the message that pops up on the screen.

CuriousDove24: That’s because this is my first time. ;)

The breath leaves my lungs in a rush, a hot jolt of arousal scrambling all of my senses for a moment. It’s not just the flirtatious comment about it being her first time, which is enough all on its own to make me feel like I can’t think straight, but her username. I look at it again, thinking of that night at Masquerade, the taste of her on my lips, how badly I wanted her to touch me afterward.

That night must have meant a lot to her. It must have been more of a turning point than even I realized. My heart slams against my ribs as I try to focus, typing out a message before she thinks I’ve lost interest and answers someone else.

Venom69xxx: What are you hoping to find here, dove?

Calling her that feels like a risk. Like I’m tempting fate and taking a chance that she’ll guess I’m the same man, but that’s such a long shot, from her perspective. Most men that she would meet there wouldn’t be able to track her down from the anonymity of the club to a dark web chat site. I’ve only been able to because of the lengths I’ve gone to, hacking into her personal information. And it’s part of her username, after all.

The risk feels like a rush, too. The good kind of rush, not the anxiety that’s so often felt like it’s choking me since I started informing on my father for the FBI. That kind of risk feels like teetering on the edge of a dark hole, knowing there’s death or worse at the bottom.

This kind is the kind that makes a man feel alive again.

CuriousDove24: I don’t really know. I just know that I want to figure out what it is that I like. I’ve never had the chance before. And I keep having these thoughts…

There’s that jolt of arousal again, but I ignore it. I’ll get off at some point tonight, thinking about her, but right now, I’m more invested in this conversation. I want to know what she’s thinking about. What kind of fantasies she’s having. I want to know what my curious little dove is seeking.

I want to know, so that I can give it all to her.

Venom69xxx: What thoughts are those?

CuriousDove24: I don’t know if I should say…

Venom69xxx: Isn’t that why you’re here?

The chat goes quiet again for a moment, and I feel a jolt of apprehension, thinking that she might have changed her mind. That I might have lost my shot to find out what it is that my little dove is thinking about. But I can see on the other monitor that she hasn’t logged off.

CuriousDove24: I hooked up with a man whose name I didn’t know.

I lick my suddenly dry lips. She’s talking about me–to me, of course, but she doesn’t know that. Sharing our night together like it was some kind of forbidden fantasy. And it was, to her. Desire ripples through me, licking through my blood like tendrils of flame, and I want her so badly that it hurts. I want her here, now, with me. Not faceless, on the other side of a computer screen.

But she would never tell me these things in real life. Not as Ivan Vasili, the man she met today at the cafe, and definitely not as myself, Ivan Kariyev, the fourth son of a dangerous criminal.

Venom69xxx: And that was out of the ordinary for you, I’m guessing?

Curious Dove 24: Very much so. I’ve always done the three-date thing before even a kiss. And I just got out of a relationship.

Venom69xxx: No better time to explore, I think.

CuriousDove24: That’s what my best friend thought. And now—I think that’s what I’m thinking, too. I want to explore more.

Venom69xxx: What kind of things would you like to explore, dove?

CuriousDove24: That man I hooked up with—he wore a mask. I think—I think that turned me on. Not being able to see all of his face. I think I want to do that again. It felt—dangerous. Wrong. Even though he was really very polite about all of it.

Venom69xxx: And you’d like a masked man who was less polite? ;)

I wait for her response with my breath caught in my throat. I want to know what she’s thinking right now. I want to know if she’s picturing a man with rougher hands and less care for her well-being. I do care about her well-being, of course—but I could pretend not to. I could be the rough man that she wants. I could make her fantasies come to life, just for a little while.