Page 5 of Broken Bonds

Lionel and I had already had sex when he proposed. He didn’t need to marry me to get me into bed. Ours is or was a normal relationship.

Someone pinch me, please, I need to wake up from this bad dream.

“Jesus, take control of this situation,” says my mother, and Valerie rolls her eyes.

“Right now Jesus needs to do more than take the wheel, ma’am.” Valerie turns to me. “How come you aren’t packing? You need to go to Los Angeles, and find out what’s going on.”

No, no, I don’t want to think about it right now. I can’t.

“Open the window, please, Mom.” My eyes burn with tears. The dam is breaking, and I’m about to drown.

She runs to do what I’ve asked, but not before shooting Valerie a pleading look.

“What kind of evil game is this?” I cry, without speaking to anyone in particular.

My mother takes my hand, stroking my knuckles gently with her thumb. “We are going to pray that God gives us guidance because we are in the dark.”

A breath of air finally fills my body.

I want an answer. I need an answer.

More than I need my next breath.

“You know what you have to do.” Valerie tugs on my other hand. “Maybe Lionel had a reason, but he’s the only one who knows the truth.”

What if…

God, I can’t even think about that. Lionel is young, too young to say goodbye.

“You need to go, tot,” Mom says.

“Do you know where Los Angeles is?” They both look at me like I’m the one who doesn’t know the answer. “In California, that’s about two days away, and my truck won’t make it.”

My beloved truck that once belonged to my father. I loved it, like I’d loved him, but it wouldn’t make it halfway across the country.

“Then fly,” Valerie chides me. She taps on her phone screen. “We’re going to buy you a ticket, and I’ll take you to the airport.”

I look at my mother, begging for help, but instead of the you’re-crazy-and-you’re-the-worst-influence-on-my-daughter look, I find her nodding. She agrees with Valerie. This is bad… Is the apocalypse upon us that my mother is actually agreeing with Valerie? This sure feels like the end of the world to me.

“Valerie is right, you have to go, Stella,” my mother says, her voice breaking yet her hand on mine is steadfastly comforting.

“I can’t, Mom,” I confess, and it’s true. Fear paralyzes me. Not because of the journey itself, but because of what it could bring.

Not only facing the unknown but facing a reality for which I’m not ready.

I’m not ready for it.

And yet, my heart demands that I go.

Despite the lies, I want to see my husband.

“There’s a flight departing at noon, you have to stop over in Charlotte, but this afternoon you’ll be landing at LAX. I’ve made reservations for you in a small hotel near the hospital. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s within walking distance of the hospital.”

“How did you afford that?” Neither Mom nor I have money to spare.

“Don’t worry about it,” my mother replies.

As Valerie drives toward the airport, I stare, thinking about this mess, trying to prepare myself for what’s to come. My head is spinning. I’ve never gotten sick while riding in a car, but today is different, and nausea churns in my stomach.

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