Page 89 of Broken Bonds

And I know it won’t until I see her again.

Stella, what am I going to do without you?

I remember her in the kitchen at home, leaning over the counter studying. Her full attention on the sheet in front of her, while gently tapping her lips with a pencil.

Again being the operative word here.

There has to be hope, there has to be. I’ve fought other battles and have been victorious, but this is so screwed up, because it doesn’t just depend on how much I want to achieve it.

Nothing is impossible. I heard her say those words many times, making them her own. Now they are mine too.

There are no impossibilities when you really want to achieve something you want.

And what I want is her.

“We have the videos,” one of the men Josh announces as soon as he enters the house.

He plugs something into the flat screen TV in front of us and Stella’s images appear on the screen. She’s wearing a T-shirt and one of those long skirts that she likes so much. She looks exhausted, devastated, and as beautiful as ever. I can see it even though the images are grainy.

“She loaded gasoline at the station that is a few blocks from here, in that same location she bought a few bottles of water and withdraw money from the ATM, the same account in her mother’s name, about four hours ago.”

Four hours of disadvantage. Many people could say that time is just the blink of an eye, but it’s too long. In four hours so many things could happen. Four hours means at least two hundred miles, and with each minute that distance grows bigger, increasing exponentially.

In the videos from inside the convenience store behind the gas station, she appears agitated, but not coerced by anyone else. Then she goes out, loads up gasoline and is alone in her truck.

At least that’s good news, she left of her own free will, not because someone forced her to.

Is it though?

The thing is, there are still a lot of questions that need to be answered, damn, I need those answers like yesterday. She deserves them too.

“We can’t report the truck as stolen. We don’t want to sound off alarms, but we can monitor whether it’s being fined for speeding or something like that.”

Which means waiting, which I hate having to do. This fucking helplessness is going to drive me crazy.

“We are doing everything possible. She could be anywhere. We are monitoring airports, but it’s difficult to do it at train or bus stations. I’m sorry I don’t have any more information at the moment. You can be sure we’ll find her, it’s just a matter of time.”

Time, the enemy that taunts me as Stella remains missing, possibly injured or worse.

Feeling helpless and on the brink of falling apart, I force myself to go for a walk. The same tuxedo pants from the party cling to my legs, squeezing my muscles with every step. I’ve rolled up my sleeves, but even the white shirt feels constricting, as if it has shrunk two sizes since this nightmare began.

I wander aimlessly through the unfamiliar town in the dead of night. This slow and agonizing torture is unbearable. If only I could build a bridge to wherever she is and bring her back to safety. Back to me.

I want to build stronger foundations, contrary to what I did when we were in Los Angeles. So my decision is made, the first thing I have to do is talk to Lorraine, Stella’s mother. I have to start clearing the air, and it would also be good for her to be on my side. Stella will surely get in touch with her at some point.

“We’ve already located most of your wife’s family and friends, Mr. Kral,” Sanders tells me as soon as I enter the house. Josh is nowhere to be seen. “We’re organizing surveillance in case your wife decides to seek refuge with them.”

I give him a somewhat distracted nod. I’m sure Stella has chosen another destination. My girl is smart, and a perfectionist. If she wants to hide, she won’t make it easy for us to find her.

When the sun comes through the window, I’m downright exhausted. I’ve hardly slept more than a few hours on the sofa, but I’m ready to continue with the plan that I’ve outlined for today.

Somehow Josh has managed to get me a suitcase with some clothes, so I take a long shower. The hot water is a blessing for my aching muscles. Especially the shoulder, which has started to bother me. None of this is important. I’ll go see my doctor when we return to Los Angeles because I’m positive we will. Together.

My Stella and me.

My Hvezda. I miss you, baby.

Feeling a little more human, I get into the van they have arranged for me to use, accompanied by two security men, heading to my mother-in-law’s house.

---