Page 100 of Wanted

Speaking of small victories.

“I’m going to eat in the hallway. Bon appétit, Hvezda.”

At about four in the afternoon, I go back inside her room. This time ready to stay with her for a while, reading the book I got from the hospital gift shop when I went to buy the sunflowers I brought her.

“What are you doing?” she asks me when I sit on the couch casually and occupy myself with reading.

“Reading,” I reply without taking my eyes off the book.

Stella lets out an exasperated sigh, but I swear she’s smiled again.

I’m good because I have plans for tonight.

As I read, I look at her from the corner of my eye. She’s sitting on the bed, dressed in the hospital gown and her hair tied up in a braid that she likes so much. She looks beautiful, slimmer, but she’s still the most beautiful woman in the world in my eyes.

At around seven, the boy who was sent by the restaurant enters, bringing our dinner. Stella looks at me with wide eyes.

“What? We need to eat.”

“Lionel, I don’t feel like talking…”

“Very well, but first you will listen to me, then you can decide… while I will do my best to respect your wishes. But no matter what, I’ll always take care of you, Stella, of you and the baby.”

Her eyes fill with tears, mine too. I have a hard time not getting up from the sofa to hug her, beg her to give me another chance, and promise that I won’t waste it. That we’ll be fine.

Both of us. No, that’s not true. We will be three.

“Hvezda, the night of the party, when you disappeared, I was thinking of asking you to marry me, this time for real. I had arranged to go to Catalina Island the next morning. I wanted us to be in a quiet environment, away from home, when I told you the truth. I never had a chance to do it, you ran away without talking to me.”

She looks at me, and for a moment, I see the anger shine in those beautiful eyes, the color of the sky.

“Stella, problems don’t solve themselves. You can’t run away. You have to fight, or how are we going to move forward?”

I take a bite of the grilled chicken breast in front of me while she does the same. That gives us a little time to think.

“Stella, we have to face our problems as a united front…” I insist on the same thing, I know that she also believes it. She repeated it to me several times when I took her home for the first time.

“Your mother was very persuasive,” she finally says, after taking a sip of the apple juice. “And she hates me.”

The way she said it makes me smile. The two women in my life at war with each other, I know my mother has her heart in the right place, however, that’s no excuse for meddling in my private affairs.

“My mother is used to getting her way, sooner or later, she’s going to give in. And she’s crazy about having a grandkid. Ever since I graduated from college she’s been insisting on that, so I warn you, if it’s a girl, I doubt we will be able to get her out of the house.”

Stella makes a gesture with her lips, in response I smile, feeling increasingly optimistic.

“It will have to be a boy then.”

That makes my smile wider, she’s making plans for our future, even without realizing it.

We finish eating while we continue talking. I get rid of the dishes and go back to my reading, a nurse comes to check on Stella before sleeping. I settle on the sofa as well as I can. When I’m about to close my eyes, I hear her whisper, “Tonight the Mississippi between us is wider than ever.”

But what she doesn’t know is that we are both on the same side of the river.

Both physically and metaphorically.

* * *

Despite being in the hospital, the heavy burden on my chest has been lifted. I put my heart at her feet, now our future is in her hands.

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