Page 64 of Wanted

And the certainty of something falls on me like a bucket of ice water.

Mentally I begin to count. What have I done?

God, what have I done?

“Lionel,” I tell him. The concern is noticeable in my voice.

“Don’t tell me you left something in the oven, and it’s about to burn. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. AndI don’t want to.”He leaves a kiss on the side of my boob.

In response, I laugh, but this is serious.

“Lionel, what we just did…” I start, and he stops me.

“Don’t give it too much thought. We are married.”

“Lionel, I’m not on the pill,” I say in a shaky voice. “I know that since we got married, you wanted children, but we should wait.”

Moving nimbly, he lies on his back, taking me with him. Now, I’m resting on his chest. This is my home. I want to stay and live here forever.

“We’ve been trying for three months,” I continue, reviewing the facts. “It would be ironic if it happens when I tell you that I think we should wait. Right?”

I hear him take a deep breath before speaking. His left hand continues to move tenderly down my back, through my hair. I run my fingers through the short hair on his chest and down his torso. Across the wound and surgery scars. Down the muscles on either side of his body.

It’s incredible, this man is mine.

That makes me feel like a goddess and, at the same time, so humble.

Why me? A girl who doesn’t have anything that makes her stand out in a crowd.

“Never be afraid to tell me what you think,” he says. I move to look at him, resting my chin on his chest. He has his head on his right arm and is looking at the ceiling. “I agree, we should wait. Why rush when we have our whole life ahead of us? Also, I’m not ready to share you just yet. Wow, I’m not even ready to go back to work on Monday and leave you here at home.”

I pat him on the shoulder, being careful not to hurt him. He’s pretty recovered, but still…

“I hope you haven’t made any plans to get out of the house this weekend,” he laughs. “Tomorrow, I’m going to buy the biggest box of condoms they have at the pharmacy, and after that, I’m not going to let you out of this bed. You’ve been summoned, Mrs. Kral.”

This is also new. It’s been a long time since we’ve stayed in bed talking and laughing at nonsense. “What? And like a good wife, I have to fulfill my conjugal duties?”

The sound of a slap on my butt fills the room, it didn’t hurt, but something hot builds up again between my legs.

I caress his face with my hand. His stubble has grown, giving him a more rugged appearance. Wilder. And I love it.

He takes my hand in his, kissing my wrist and then looking at the gold band that he put on my finger the day we got married.

“God, I hate that ring.” His statement takes me by surprise.

“Why? You gave it to me.” It’s a symbol of our bond.

Although he never wanted to wear his.

“You deserve better,” he says, looking back at my hand. “You deserve the whole world, if someone made you believe otherwise before…”

I’m not sure it’s the right time, but since we’re talking.

“I still don’t understand, Lionel. I still don’t understand why you lied to me.”

He takes a deep breath. I know that he’s taking his time to build a response that comes out without stuttering.

“We all make mistakes, Hvezda. There are things that I still need to figure out before I can talk to you about them, but the most important thing is that I want you to let go of the past and what binds you to it. It’s time to build the future—our future.”

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