Page 52 of Beyond our Forever

“You must ignite the spark, my friend,” she advised me.

Ignite the spark?

How could that done? With each passing day my disappointment grew exponentially.

Bruce was still an exemplary husband and father, I had no complaints about that, but something was missing. Where was my lover? Of course we were both getting older. But even though Bruce had always been attractive to me, at almost forty years old, he was more devastatingly handsome than ever, even as the first gray hairs began to streak his dark hair and the beard he decided to grow filled in. And he walked with confidence and assurance, knowing he’d successfully made his own way in the world.

He still told me that he loved me every day, but when I heard those words, I wanted to yell at him.

“Then come and make love to me! Show me all this love you say you feel, prove it to me. I dare you to.”

That was the size of my disappointment. He had promised me that I would always be the center of his universe, yet his priorities had changed.

And I felt relegated. Like an old piece of furniture that nobody notices any more.

Ignite the flame?

Was it even still alive?

Chapter 15

Present

We open the door of the house, scared of what we might find. I’m already thinking I’m going to see Aaron lying in the hallway with his neck broken.

What we find isn’t that serious, thankfully, although it still makes my hair stand on end. My two sons are on the floor and they are fighting.

I yell their names to get their attention, while Beth seems scared and unsure how to handle this. Fortunately, Bruce knows what to do and immediately takes control of the situation by grabbing both boys by the arms to pull them apart.

They both pause at their father’s intervention, but still look angry and ready to continue exchanging blows, but won’t dare in front of Bruce.

“Where’s Ava?” I ask Beth when I realize that my baby girl is nowhere to be seen.

“She’s asleep,” she replies shakily. “I’m so sorry about this, but now that you’re back, I think it’s best if I leave for you to handle things.”

Poor Beth walks to the door, so shaken up she can barely stand. Without taking his eyes off his children, Bruce hands me his wallet and I take a hundred dollar bill to hand to Beth as she leaves, while apologizing for the appalling behavior of my children.

“What is this all about?” Bruce yells at them as soon as the door closes.

“He started it!” they accuse each other.

“I don’t give a sh…” Bruce begins, cutting himself before he swears at his sons. “That’s not what I asked. I want to know what’s gotten into you both? Tell me right now or face the consequences.”

“I want to come and live with you, Dad,” Noah blurts out as he comes and hugs Bruce, burying his head on his chest.

His words paralyze me. Now I’m the one who needs to know what this shit is about. Noah is my son, he’s still just a child even if he doesn’t think so.

Bruce takes hold of our son’s shoulders to pull him away from his body and look him in the eye.

“What’s this about, Noah?” He manages to keep his tone calm, but I can tell he’s fighting to keep his feelings in check.

“I don’t want to live with her,” he finally responds, pointing at me.

Those words hurt more than a direct shot to my heart. I’m left breathless, not knowing what to say, what to do.

How do you react to something like that?

Right now, I’m the one who wants to escape, run away, and drown myself in the lake behind the house.

---