Page 77 of Beyond our Forever

“None of your business, this problem only concerns your sister and me.”

As if the situation couldn’t get worse, another little person joins the scene.

“Uncle Warren, are you taking us to the movies?” Ava asks as she tangles her little fingers in the hem of her pink dress. “Come on, take us, so mom and daddy can have another love date and daddy will live in the house again. I’m ready, look at me, I promise you that I’ll behave and that I will ask you just for a few sweets.”

“Ava!” Bruce and I yelled at the same time.

Now, yes, my brother has caught up, all of a sudden, but he already knows the most relevant of this matter. Well, almost. The Hulk has just been joined by Frankenstein. So big, so imposing.

My daughter tugs on her uncle’s hand again drawing his attention. My heart breaks at the innocence of her actions, her request, her plea.

“Go inside and let your brothers know we’re going out,” Warren says softly, speaking to Ava. The girl’s face lights up, with the light of hope that dies in my heart with every passing second. “Go!”

Ava jumps out of joy, running around the garden, yelling the names of Aaron and Noah.

“I’m going out with the kids,” he announces as if we haven’t just heard him. “I’m going to give you some time to fix whatever shit is going on here. But first, go take a shower, Ilythia, you need it.”

I’m sure, very sure, that more than a shower or any of my necessities, what my brother wants is to be alone with Bruce and for him to tell him anything he wants to know.

However, the offer gives me some time to put my thoughts in order. And feelings.

I was sure that I could, that I would eat the world in bites, now, I would have preferred to skip the last few months. Perhaps ignorance is happiness. Horned, but blind and content.

“We’ll talk in a bit,” I mumble, before leaving to head to the privacy of my room.

God… can we fix it?

Could Bruce forgive me for cheating on him?

Would he bear to know that another man has touched me?

As the water runs down my body and the steam fills the bathroom, I ask myself all those questions, those that don’t seem to have an answer.

What are we going to do?

Sometimes love is not enough, this is one of them.

Nothing is forever.

Perfection ends up becoming boredom.

Passion vanishes.

Love is not enough.

???

About an hour later, I’m sitting at the study desk in front of the computer, organizing some notes, trying to clear my mind, when Bruce comes in.

He looks much more relaxed than a while ago, but also sad and, more than that, he looks defeated.

“It’s bigger than us, right?” he whispers, dropping onto the couch in front of the table.

“I don’t know, Bruce,” I admit regretfully. Now I feel that I’m navigating doubts, the photos I saw were a revelation, a very painful one. Then last night, I have no idea what happened. Not the remotest idea, everything is blurred, confusing.

“And distrust will always be there, won’t it?”

That is the crux of the matter. That we are overcome by fear, suspicion, uncertainty.

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