Page 54 of Beyond our Forever

“But Bruce, could it be possible?”

“You built a wall around you and shut me out, but as I said, I’m also to blame. I was the one who put all those bricks within your reach. But I have to ask, why didn’t you tell me that you were no longer happy?”

I stare at the darkness that spreads through the glass wall.

“Because I was embarrassed, it seemed so ungrateful, so selfish,” I admit. “Because I knew you were giving me everything but it still wasn’t enough.”

He sighs, running his hands through his short dark hair several times and through the thick beard that now covers his strong jaw.

I want to do that, I want to comfort him and tell him that I still love him.

Tell him to come to our bedroom and solve all our problems between the sheets.

I wish it were that simple.

If only…

“But more than that, I got lost somewhere along the line, Bruce,” I add, speaking softly. “I looked in the mirror and hardly recognized myself no longer liking what I saw. Yes, I was a wife and a mother, but what about me? I’d lost my identity, my individuality, my sparkle somewhere along the way. Nothing motivated me, nothing called to me anymore. Nothing.”

“Love, if only I’d known. What a blind ass I’ve been” he whispers, chiding himself, blaming himself. “I should have realized, if I’d only paid more attention, if I hadn’t been so busy, so distracted.”

“That wouldn’t have been you, Bruce,” I tell him. “It’s just how you are.”

He sighs again and, taking my hand in his, he brings it to his lips and covers it in kisses.

“So what are we going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” I sigh too, because I really have no idea.

“Can’t we start over?” he asks, staring at me. “Please tell me you want to try again. We can take things slowly, get to know each other again, win each other one more time.”

What happened to his bosom friend?

“It won’t be easy. What if it doesn’t work?”

“The way I see it, we have two choices. Keep going around and around in circles, or try to move forward. No, it won’t be easy, but if we both really try to make it work, surely it’ll be worth it? We can choose to live in the past or face the future together. I love you, Ilythia, not because you’re the mother of my children, not because you’ve been the most amazing wife. I love you for you, for the girl you were and for the woman you’ve become. I love you.”

“But how can you say you love me when I don’t even know who I am?” There it is, the cold hard truth.

“Because you’re the other half of my soul, because we are destined to be together, because I will always look for you even if I don’t know where to find you.”

Bruce brings his face to mine, caressing me with his whispers, getting under my skin. How can I resist this man as he smiles at me and his dimples make an appearance?

“Let’s go to bed,” I say, taking him by the hand.

“Have I convinced you so quickly?” He smiles and the butterflies that have been asleep for so long fly away, causing a whirlwind of emotions in my belly.

“Calm down, Batman. We’re both exhausted and right now all I want is to sleep in your arms. We can talk more about it in the morning.”

“Thank you,” he murmurs, kissing me repeatedly on the lips. “Thanks, Ilythia.”

I am scared to death, terrified. This could be a new beginning for us as a couple, but I’m still trying to discover who I really am and what I want at my age. But don’t they say it’s never too late?

I will not allow myself to doubt my choice. This is the path I’ve decided to walk, and at least I am not alone. Bruce is with me, for forever and beyond.

???

The alarm wakes us at the same time it does every morning, bringing us back to reality, to a new day, a new dawn, a new opportunity.

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