Page 41 of Beyond our Forever

Really?

Chapter 12

Past

Bruce drove the car Warren had rented for us like a madman, but despite the speed the road seemed endless, and it felt like we were never going to get to the hospital.

The pain had become a noise that drowned everything else out. Only Bruce’s hand on my knee kept me this side of sanity. That morning I shed enough tears to fill an ocean.

My baby.

My baby. I couldn’t lose it, I loved it, I really did. Although this pregnancy had been a shock, the little person growing inside me had become my reason for living.

I couldn’t lose it.

I’d never been a particularly religious person, but at that moment I asked God to allow my pregnancy to continue, not to take away the joy of being a mother, not to end my family like this. Because I was sure that if the worst happened, it would mean the end of everything.

Bruce had given up his dream of studying in California just a few days ago to give security to this baby, and now ironically this could be where we would lose our child.

Please no.

Please God.

There weren’t enough plasters in the world to heal broken hopes, much less when you let one go after another.

“We’ll soon be there,” my husband reassured me, while trying to hide the anguish drawn on his face. But I knew him too well, and I knew he was worried. “Stay calm, love.”

I needed his arms wrapped around me, his heart giving peace to mine, his integrity keeping mine intact.

When we finally saw the sign for the emergency entrance, we both heaved a huge sigh of relief. Bruce yelled to catch the staff’s attention, and they immediately brought a wheelchair to take me in.

“If I lose this baby, I’m going to lose everything,” I whispered between sobs as we waited for the nurse to call my name.

Panic consumed me. Why would he stay with me when he hadn’t even been able to hold this baby growing inside me?

“What are you talking about?” he asked as he continued stroking my hair, cuddling me against him, calming me.

“Bruce, I know why you married me,” I sobbed softly, hurting and embarrassed to reveal my fears. “And if the worst happens, I know you’ll leave me. Why would you stay if there’s no baby?”

I felt his chest tighten, and he had to take a deep breath before he could finally speak.

“Listen to me, Ilythia” he said, taking my tear-stained face in his big strong hands. “And listen well, because I never want you to doubt me again.”

I nodded, holding his gaze as his dark eyes watched me intently, disarming me.

“Yes, I married you pregnant.” There it was, the truth loud and clear. “But not because you were pregnant, they are completely different things. If the worst, as you call it, happens, which I really hope doesn’t, we’ll still be together. We will overcome it together, and we will try again. You and I are a couple, more than that, we are a family. Do you understand?”

I nodded again, believing in him, trusting him, and I let those words spoken in a crowded room take me to a place where we would be safe, sheltered from danger, protected with the love we professed, because I longed for that to be enough.

We clung to each other until the sobs left my trembling body, then Bruce went to take charge of the situation.

The Hulk had grown tired of waiting.

Somehow, despite a room full of patients waiting to be seen, Bruce managed to get the doctor to see me without further delay. I had no idea who he had to bribe and I didn’t care either.

“Your wife could be in the early stages of a miscarriage,” the doctor announced, not bothering to sugarcoat the news.

“Am I going to lose my baby?” I asked in a trembling voice, squeezing the hand my husband offered me.

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