Page 34 of Beyond our Forever

Past

How do you plan for the future if you have no idea where you will be next year?

Looking at the list of community colleges near San Francisco and the Detroit area, we were still waiting for an answer about Bruce’s school. Furthermore, we were planning our wedding. We decided to refrain from a big celebration, all we wanted was to make things official, although Bruce insisted that we rent a private room in a small restaurant that we both liked to celebrate with our families after the ceremony at city hall.

Mistake.

Big mistake.

The moment we announced our plans, a storm broke out, and the next thing I knew, Alexandra, my mother-in-law, and Brianna, Bruce’s older sister, arrived to Tucson to organize the wedding, which was set for the Friday before Thanksgiving week, so we could enjoy a few days off together, which sounded wonderful.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law insisted that I had to buy a long dress, even though I’d planned on something simpler. But no, the team of self-proclaimed wedding planners said ‘over their dead bodies’ and dragged me from store to store until we found the perfect gown. It was pretty simple, but it fit like a glove and made me feel like a princess in my own fairy tale.

Seeing myself for the first time dressed as a bride was a shock, and my hormonal status didn’t help.

“It’s perfect, Ilythia,” my sister-in-law cried, clasping her hands to her chest in excitement.

“Bruce is going to love it,” my mother-in-law insisted as she studied me carefully. “And you can’t even notice your tummy.”

That shook me up. We’d agreed to keep it a secret, so how did she found out?

“Don’t worry, stay calm,” she whispered so only I heard her while Brianna was occupied looking for some kind of hair decoration for me. “There are few things that escape the attention of a mother, so don’t be angry with my son. He didn’t say a word and neither have I, so it will remain a secret until you decide to tell everyone.”

When our eyes met in the mirror, she smiled and I felt strangely comforted by her caring manners. In that instant, like never before, I missed the woman who had brought me into the world. Why couldn’t she be more like this?

“Are you going to wear a veil?” Brianna shouted from across the room, breaking the gravity of the moment.

Thank goodness.

“No,” I said, looking at myself in the mirror again, adjusting one of the thin straps that supported the lace bodice. The dress was really perfect. Feminine, simple, and even somewhat sexy. Bruce was going to love it. “I’m just going to put some flowers in my hair, that’s all.”

They both seemed satisfied with that, however, they still wanted more details. The shoes, the bouquet, the garter, even the underwear. Gosh, couldn’t they at least leave that to me?

With each gesture, with each word, I missed my own mother more and more, but as always she was distracted by her own affairs, meaning, keeping an eye on my father’s every move. Calhum Erickson had a very social and willing temperament, which really bothered her, so she constantly checked the calls on my father’s phone.

When we called to tell them we planned to visit the following weekend, she told us that they were busy, since dad would be participating in a golf tournament, and of course she had to ‘accompany him’. In other words, keep a close eye on him.

“I don’t think you need to tell them about the baby yet,” Warren suggested that night, when I unloaded my frustration and disappointment. “They have their priorities, and you have yours. Soon you’ll be married and that’s it, you won’t need to give further explanation.”

“But they don’t seem to even care about the wedding,” I complained with a heavy heart. With the hormone revolution taking over my feelings, I was already on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I was laughing out loud, the next drowning in a sea of tears.

“That’s what I’m here for,” my brother said, hugging me. And there I went again. I had to blink several times to keep the tears at bay. “And you also have the fucker who got you pregnant.”

I slapped him playfully on the arm. My brother would never change.

“When are you going to forgive him for the pregnancy? We’re planning the wedding for God’s sake, so what else do you want?”

“For him to make you happy, little sister,” he answered quietly. “Just for him to make you happy.”

“He already does.”

My brother didn’t say anything else, but the kiss he placed on my forehead was the only reply I needed. He knew how much Bruce cared for me, that he was caring and loving, and if Warren had doubts, he would certainly have tried to dissuade me in some way. After all, I wouldn’t be the first or the last single mother in history.

“They’re here, baby,” Bruce called out to me as he entered our apartment a few nights later. “Two envelopes.”

I ran out to meet him, so excited that I didn’t care that the papers he was holding went flying.

“Did you open them?” I asked after giving him a kiss on the lips.

---