Page 28 of Beyond our Forever

Facts and not words.

However, not a word comes out of my mouth. We just stand there, looking at each other, both frozen and too numb to take the first step.

Minutes pass and neither of us moves, until the door to my room opens and Ava’s little voice calls me.

“Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?”

I turn for a moment to tend to her and out of the corner of my eye I see Bruce’s car reverse and drive away.

Damn coward.

Chapter 8

Past

We were standing holding hands, in the middle of the pharmacy aisle, unable to make a decision. The wording on all the little boxes in front of us seemed to be written in Chinese, Latin, or hieroglyphs.

“I feel lost,” I finally admitted.

“Well, let’s take one of each. Decision made,” Bruce replied, getting down to business.

I stopped him by pulling his arm. He was crazy.

“I don’t need that many,” I argued. “It says here they are ninety-nine percent accurate, so I think one will be enough.”

“Just to be sure, we’ll take all five.” Of course he didn’t want to have any doubts about the matter. While the only thing I wanted was for the ground to swallow me up, he looked like a proud peacock, ready to unfold his colorful plumage and boast of the feat.

We ended up buying three. Despite The Boss wanting his way, we managed to find the middle ground. The journey back home had never seemed so long, needless to say, then there was having to pee on a stick and wait.

We sat hugging each other on the bed that had witnessed all those times that we’d loved each other, all the nights we’d been awake consuming one another, leaving us breathless, forgetting that there was a world beyond those sheets.

“You want to look?” he asked as he cradled my head under his chin. That’s how we had been since I took the test, seeking for comfort in each other’s arms.

Much of our future depended on what the aforementioned stick showed, so naturally we were nervous. Bruce didn’t try to hide his emotions, and although I was still in denial, that made me feel safe. He was there, with me, supporting me. I had a shoulder to lean on, a hand to guide me, a generous heart ready to give me everything.

“You do it,” I said, closing my eyes, like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand.

As if that would make a difference to what was happening to us.

I felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath, preparing for the inevitable.

“What does it say?” I asked when he just hugged me, without saying anything as the anxiety was eating me up inside.

“Love, we are going on a trip this weekend,” he stated, which seemed an odd answer to me. Where did he want us to go?

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s about time you met my parents. I don’t want to tell them that they are going to be grandparents over the phone.”

I closed my eyes again, asking heaven for guidance, because with a baby on the way, I would surely need it.

“We’re going to have a baby?” I don’t know why I insisted on asking. I was sure the infamous two blue lines had appeared.

“That’s on you, you’re pregnant, but I don’t know if you want to keep the baby,” he said softly, putting his hands around my face, making our eyes meet.

What I found in those dark eyes took my breath away. Bruce was not only looking at me with the same love as always, there was something else, adoration, maybe even reverence. The feeling was overwhelming, devastating, even more powerful than the news itself. Something inside me was telling me to run away, screaming like crazy to the four winds, while another part rejoiced knowing that he was the right person, the chosen one, the love of my life. The father of my baby.

My baby.

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