Page 88 of Whispers of My Skin

If only I had endured the loneliness.

If only I’d waited just a little longer.

If only I’d had faith in him.

If only… if only… if only…

“Tara, my love,” he murmurs, gently caressing my hand. “One thing I’ve learned over the intervening years, is that it’s pointless worrying over shit that happened a long time ago. Doesn’t change anything, and all you end up doing is spoiling what you have in the here and now. However it came about, we got a second chance, we’ve ended up together, and that’s all that matters.”

“And are you really sure that’s all that matters?” I ask apprehensively. “We’ve followed such a tortuous route to get here, maybe it’s just relief you're feeling.”

“Tara, I’m one hundred percent sure of what I want. I want you. I’d do anything for you, so just tell me what do you want and I’ll get it for you.”

“All I want is your love.”

Joel’s response is a smoldering look that leaves me breathless.

“I also want what’s here,” I say, stroking his head, running my fingers through the short strands of his black hair, moving down his neck, over his chest. I leave my hand resting there, just above his rapidly beating heart. “And certainly what’s in here.”

I see him swallow hard, fighting against the knot forming in his throat. I know, because I’m having exactly the same experience.

“Keep on going like that,” he grins. “And I’m sure you’re going to find something a little lower that you’re going to like a hell of a lot more.”

“Joel...” I giggle as I smack his arm playfully.

“Come here, woman. God, I love you so damn much, Tara,” he growls, pulling me until my body is lying over his.

“Joel, I’m going to hurt you!” I protest, but he won’t let me move away even a fraction.

“No, you won’t, now be a good little wife and kiss me, Tara, and tell me you love me,” he insists.

I look at him and get lost in his look.

“I love you, Joel.”

“How much?” he asks, stroking my bottom lip with his thumb.

“So much that I can’t put it into words.”

“Do you know the best part of all this?”

I shake my head.

“That I have everything I could possibly need right here in my arms.”

A wave of joy sweeps through me, the closest thing to heaven I’ve ever experienced.

My soul is full of joy. Of the joy only love can give.

Because this is love.

It feels as if I could reach heaven, even with my feet planted firmly on the ground.

It feels as if I know him better than I know myself. Because I see my own soul reflected in his beautiful amber eyes, and discover a language that only he and I recognize.

It’s incomparable.

Extraordinary.

I’m ecstatically happy. I’ve given all of myself to him and yet at the same time I’ve been set free. In the end, the only important thing is feeling his soul merging with mine.

Together we solve the mystery of happiness, because only Joel can sense the whispers of my skin.

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