Page 87 of Whispers of My Skin

He closes his eyes, and his happy expression shifts to downcast.

“Babe, all that shit is in the past. Let’s leave it there. We’re together and we’re happy. None of that crap matters.”

“Of course it matters! Something bad happened to you and I want to know about it,” I insist. “If you continue being so stubborn, I’ll just set Fermin on you instead. I know how much you love having him fuss over you.”

That makes Joel cringe. My best friend has taken it upon himself to move in and watch over us, make us rest, eat and take our medications, and generally boss us around, which Joel hates. Fermin also has plans for hiring a security company to watch over us, at least until we’re sure the police have caught the rest of Oscar’s cohorts.

He sighs heavily, knowing I can be every bit as stubborn as he can, so he might as well just get this over and done with.

“After your father found us, he ordered his foreman to get rid of me, to do whatever necessary to get me off the ranch and away from you,” he says, and I gasp. No way. “Culver did as he was told, so I ended up in jail while your father came up with a complaint against me.”

“They couldn’t charge you with rape, or being with a minor. When they found us, I was already eighteen.”

“No, babe, they accused me of breaking into his house and stealing shit that he said he found hidden in the stable, next to the horse I used to work with.”

“Oh my God, Joel! My father actually made up false charges against you? He perjured himself?”

Rage rises up my throat like a river of pure acid.

“What’s done is done, Tara,” he shrugs. “No point in getting upset over these things now, much less with your father, seeing as he’s no longer alive.”

“But I can’t believe he did that to you!” I retort indignantly, still furious.

“It took me a while, but eventually I understood that all he was trying to do was to protect his daughter.”

“Even so, he had no right. It was my life, Joel, my future he changed.”

“Baby, I just wanted you to be happy, and back then I didn’t exactly have much to offer a girl like you.”

“Are you saying that you walked away from me in exchange for your freedom?” Frankly I don’t know how I’d feel about that.

“No, that’s not what happened, Tara. It never got to that point.”

“Then exactly what did happen?”

“Connor happened,” Joel says concisely.

I gesture impatiently for him to continue.

“Connor was with me the night I supposedly committed the robbery, so he testified in my favor, even though they tried to bribe him to get him to change his story. They didn’t have anything else against me, so eventually they let me go, but only after dragging everything out for months and months.”

“So why didn’t you come for me as soon as you got out?” This is the vital question. “Had you already forgotten me?”

“Of course I hadn’t, Tara! I did come back for you, but it was too late,” he sighs. “You’d left, gone to live somewhere in Europe from what I could gather, although no one was very keen on giving me any details.”

“Oh no! Oh Joel...” I groan, holding my head in my hands.

The memory of those empty months hits me like a wrecking ball.

So much time wasted.

So many tears shed.

So much loneliness.

So much pain.

If only I had been stronger.

---