Page 61 of Whispers of My Skin

Food forgotten, I crawl over to him, leaning my back against his chest and he folds his strong arms around me, hugging me tightly, sliding his hands under the lacey hem of my white blouse, to softly caress the skin just above the waistband of my jeans.

He’s right but he’s also wrong. Paradise isn’t on a deserted beach. Paradise is right here, right now under this tree hearing the wind whispering between the leaves.

Whispering our love story.

“I want to talk to you about something I’ve been thinking about,” I say to Joel on our return to the house. I didn’t want to say anything earlier as I’m not sure what Joel’s reaction is going to be, and I didn’t want to spoil the mood. But I need to get this off my chest.

“Why do I already get the feeling I’m not going to like where this is going,” Joel says, grabbing me by the waist, and tickling me.

“Seriously, Joel,” I say through my laughter as I try to pull away. “I’ve been talking with Fermin…”

His smile fades.

“Now you’ve really got me worried,” he groans. “Okay. Shoot. Tell me what you’ve been thinking about. What’s been spinning around in that gorgeous head of yours?”

“Well, since I’ve been recuperating, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. What’s happened, how I can move on from all the bad things. Thanks in no small part to my father’s antiquated attitude towards women, I’ve always felt inadequate, not properly educated or equipped to face the world.” Joel slowly nods his head, encouraging me to continue, even though the look on his face tells me he’s uncomfortable with where this is going. I take a deep breath and blurt out, “So, that’s why I want to go back to college in the spring semester.”

Joel freezes, instantly losing his lighthearted, good mood.

“Why would you want to do that?” he asks frowning.

“Because I need to do something more with my life.”

“So, you’re already bored with our life here on the ranch, just one month on from our wedding. This life, me, everything we’ve been planning, that’s not enough for you?” he states angrily. Oh boy. What can of worms have I just opened?

“Joel, that’s not what I meant at all,” I protest.

“I assumed you were serious when you claimed you wanted to take an active role in running this ranch that you profess to love so much. Yet now it turns out you’re planning to run off to college first chance you get and leave me with all the hard work,” he retorts.

“You don’t understand,” I plead. “I just want to do something for myself, to be someone...”

“Oh, I get it alright, Miss Rhett. Being lowly Joel Sadger’s wife isn’t enough for you. This life with me obviously isn’t living up to the expectations of Spencer Rhett’s daughter.”

Oh crap, I’ve obviously hit a raw nerve by tapping into all his insecurities. Being abandoned by his mother as a kid—because the woman wanted to pursue her dream of becoming a country singer—losing his alcoholic father when he was just a teenager, then the way my father treated him. But still, he needs to get over all that shit.

“Joel, being your wife is everything I’ve always wanted. But that doesn’t change feeling a failure for dropping out of school. This is just something I need to do to feel more confident in myself.”

“Then why didn’t you just sell up and head off back to school, instead of begging me to give up everything in order to come here? Because that sure would have saved everyone a whole lot of grief.” Joel states coldly, turning around and marching back down the porch steps.

“Joel, we haven’t finished talking! Where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here!” he shouts without turning to look at me.

“Just so you know, this is exactly how Fermin predicted you’d behave. He said you be totally unreasonable and act like a big child!”

“Good for him! Glad he’s leaving or I’d be kicking him out for sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong. I’ve had more than enough of his interfering ways.”

“Fermin’s been a good friend to both of us, Joel Sadger, and you know it. You can’t bear to hear the truth about the unreasonable way you’re acting right now, just because I’ve dared to voice some dreams of my own that don’t exactly match yours,” I tell him, my head held high, chin jutted out.

He knows I’m right. And I know it’s not really Fermin he’s angry with. We both recognize how much my friend’s done for us over the last couple of weeks, not only acting as my nurse while Joel’s been out working the ranch, but also being a truly supportive friend to both of us. His time here’s been invaluable and Joel knows it.

So he shouldn’t be badmouthing Fermin just because he’s angry at me.

I spin around and stomp back into the house.

“Tara!” Joel shouts as he comes after me.

“Weren’t you leaving?” I yell back at him.

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