Page 46 of Whispers of My Skin

“Fair point,” he concedes. “But if I did have one, I’d bet on it.”

I roll my eyes and do my best to change the subject. “Come on, we’re here to do a job, so grab the roller. This painting won’t get done on its own.”

It doesn’t work.

“And you’re in denial about the fact that you love him, too,” he persists.

“Sure, we care about each other, but don’t make the mistake of confusing that with love, Fermin. So please just drop all this nonsense and let’s get on with some work. This is a big place and there’s still plenty to do.”

“You can deny it all you want, Tara, but I know what I’m talking about. You’d have to be blind not to see how crazy in love with you that man is.” Fermin is like a dog with a bone, he just won’t let this drop.

He seems so confident in his assertion that I can’t prevent myself asking. “How can you be so sure?”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re both guys, so of course I know what he’s thinking,” he says petulantly.

“Fermin, just because you and Joel happen to be the same gender doesn’t automatically mean you know what he’s thinking. You two are worlds apart; you have completely different backgrounds, completely different outlooks, meaning you have virtually nothing in common.”

“Well, that’s not the only evidence I have.”

Is he ever going to shut up?

“What other evidence?” I exclaim in exasperation. Why won’t he just shut the fuck up about this?

“Firstly, your husband can’t take his eyes off of you,” he counts off on his fingers. “Secondly, he can’t keep his hands off you either.”

“That’s just lust, you idiot, it doesn’t mean anything!”

“You are so fucking stubborn, Tara! Just open your eyes and see what’s staring you right in the face!”

It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t.

I don’t say this out loud, not wanting to lend any more fuel to his argument.

“Think about it, Tara. A grounded, sensible man like Joel would not make a rash, impulsive decision to marry you, not unless he already had deep feelings for you.”

“Would you please just give it a rest, Fermin? I’m sick of this subject,” I sigh.

“Alright, let’s change the topic. Can you think of anyone who’d want to harm you?”

That stops me in my tracks. Where’s he going with this? Is it another of Fermin Carrillo’s wild conspiracy theories?

“Not that I can think of, no. What makes you ask?”

“I know you’ll think I’m crazy…” Yup, already do, but I won’t say it out loud. “…but the accident last night seems very odd to me. Something about it just doesn’t add up.”

“Don’t blow this up out of proportion. It was just one of those things. Shit happens, cars develop faults. It was just bad luck.”

He hesitates for a few seconds before continuing.

“I’m not so sure it was just back luck, Tara. And the thing is, I’m pretty sure Joel suspects the same thing,” he lets drop.

What. The. Fuck?

If Fermin was trying to get my attention, he’s certainly succeeded now.

“What makes you say that?” I frown.

“Because before he went out this morning, your dear husband took me to one side, and ordered that you were not, under any circumstances, to be left alone, and that I wasn’t to let you out of my sight. He also gave me his cell number, along with instructions to call him immediately if anything seemed in the slightest way odd, or if I was in any way concerned. Plus, he lectured me long and hard about how I was to take care of you, that my first priority was keeping you safe. Basically, he assigned me as your bodyguard,” he confides. “Now I’d say that indicates the man has to be pretty damn worried, considering only yesterday he was giving me the jealous evil eye, yet now he’s calling in a bro favor to take care of you in his absence. I’m flattered he’s put his trust in me actually, seeing as my own mother still considers me incapable of acting like a grown up and adulting a lot of the time.”

---