Page 37 of Whispers of My Skin

“Quite the cozy chat you two had about my ranch—funny how your platonic friend didn’t include me in these discussions, how she didn’t have the courtesy to ask for my input concerning any plans for my ranch. Maybe that was because she knew I’d never agree to selling up.”

Joel takes a deep breath, stares up at the ceiling and massages the bridge of his nose with two fingers, closing his eyes, as if averting a headache. Maybe he’s calling for divine intervention, but it would seem he has no luck in that department.

“You have this fixation that I’m intent on selling the ranch. Like I said, I had a duty to consider all options, but once I’d had a chance to look at the books, it didn’t make any kind of financial sense to sell up, not when things are running at a loss, Redlands is hemorrhaging money left right and center and is mortgaged to the hilt. We’d lose everything if we were forced to sell at rock bottom price and then have no income.

“Well, you considered it,” I point out defensively.

“Yes, but I quickly ruled it out. So, moving on, having had time to consider all the various options, first off, I think it makes sense for us to rent out some of the crop land.”

“Oh… rent, not sell?”

“Yup. That way we retain the asset while gaining some valuable income. Makes a lot of sense since we don’t have the staff to farm it ourselves.”

“And you really think it could provide a solution?” I ask, tentatively hopeful.

He sighs before answering, “Look, this year’s harvest is going to be really bad. I walked the cornfields last week, and thanks in large part to neglect, there’s not going to be much of a crop. We need to act now, before winter comes and things officially go belly up, while we’re still in a position to negotiate decent contracts. Give it much longer and that won’t be the case.”

“And the bank must be paid before they foreclose and we lose everything.”

“Exactly. Which is why we need to tackle that issue head on. Present them with a formal business plan, negotiate new terms, haggle for lower repayments. Plus, I found a buyer for your old Mercedes, and managed to negotiate a decent price considering its condition, so that will give us a little respite, but we still need to move fast. So, what do you think so far?”

“You’re actually asking me?” I squeak in surprise.

“Yes, Tara. I want a do over and I really want us to work together, make all the important decisions about our future as a team. That’s what married couples do, isn’t it?” he says, taking my hand in his, squeezing it tightly.

This is exactly what I want, yet it’s exactly what I can’t have. Because he still doesn’t know everything. And when he does…

But for now, I play along by showing interest and asking him to pass me another folder. This one’s about organic farming, natural foods, all that kind of thing, about which I know little but find totally fascinating. Joel starts explaining what he thinks needs to change.

“It’s not your fault, Tara, your father never involved you in the running of the ranch, but it’s obvious to me that some of the staff—like that bastard Walter Delgado—have been taking advantage of your inexperience. Looking at the books, although I can’t actually prove it, I’m certain he’d been stealing ranch supplies, then selling them on to line his own pocket. That’s why he had to be one of the first to go, although I’m truly sorry he took his anger at my actions out on you.”

“At least he’s locked away and paying the price now,” I interrupt when I see Joel’s anger flaring again and not wanting to open that can of worms. “So, tell me more about how you see us setting about turning things around.”

“Well, the ranch has just about been ticking along, things being done the way they always have been. No one’s been prepared to shake things up and consider taking a new direction. But now it’s crunch time. Make or break. Throw the hat in and sell up—which you’ve made clear is not your preferred option, and for the record, neither is it mine, or venture out in a new direction. Take this opportunity to turn things around, and farm in a much more ecologically sustainable way. This is the future as I see it. Valuing our environment, finding alternatives to harmful pesticides, increasing bio diversity, preventing soil erosion. We were working towards these goals on my previous ranch, but I’d really love for Redlands to go all in, work at developing a niche market in ecological and sustainable crops and produce.”

Wow. This man. I love what he’s proposing, but is it really feasible?

“Joel, this sounds amazing, but can we really handle that sort of a challenge?”

“Yeah, you know I think we can. Not saying it’ll be all plain sailing, it’ll be a hell of a lot of hard work, but I really think we could pull it off,” he grins, leaning in to brush his lips over mine.

I could so easily get distracted, but I can’t let it happen again. I have to remain focused.

“Okay, then let’s celebrate a new beginning,” I say, jumping up. “Let’s start with something to eat, since we missed dinner last night and you must be starving.”

He’s starving alright, but not for food by the look in his eye.

Oh, Joel, why do you make this so hard?

It would be so much easier if I didn’t want everything you have to offer.

I start heating up last night’s dinner for our breakfast. Granted, it’s not your typical morning repast but why let good food go to waste, especially when I put a lot of time and effort into its preparation. Joel helps by setting the table, but he keeps brushing against me, touching my hand as he puts out the cutlery, that kind of thing.

Anticipation is the best kind of foreplay, and breakfast preparation becomes a sensual game of cat and mouse.

But our little game is interrupted when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I scream with delight when I see the name on the screen and hastily take the call.

“Fermin! Why haven’t you been replying to any of my texts?” I’d vented some of my frustration to him yesterday and had actually been pretty hurt when he hadn’t responded.

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