Page 66 of Torn In Two

When I finally did, it was with a bitter sense of disappointment.

22

HAYDEN

The promise I’d made to Hawk at the restaurant hadn’t been something I’d planned. It hadn’t even been something I’d really thought about. He was being a dick, and throwing him off guard just brought out a sick sort of pleasure in me.

He was so up in his head all the time. Guy just needed to chill the fuck out.

He made pushing his buttons too easy, and I was asshole enough to keep hitting them.

I’d had no intention of going to his room.

I knew he’d lock the door, because no matter how much he denied being a homophobe, he was scared as fuck of the attraction between us.

I wasn’t scared. Surprised. Intrigued maybe. But not fucking scared.

Until I thought about actually going down to his room. Turning the handle.

And the one-percent chance it might actually be unlocked.

Then a breathless sort of feeling came over me that could have been terror…or it could have been desire.

I’d ignored it all night, staying in my room, giving Hayley Jade and Kara the time they needed together. I tried to read a book, but the words kept swimming across the page, my brain too distracted to focus.

I’d gone to sleep early but had woken up hourly, getting more and more frustrated, until it was damn near three and I couldn’t stand lying there a second longer.

I got up and on silent feet crossed the door to my room and opened it, stepping out into the silent, darkened common area. On instinct, I checked Hayley Jade’s and Kara’s doors. Both were closed.

As was Hawk’s.

Not that I was looking at his room.

I was just getting water. Or tea. Or I didn’t know fucking what from the kitchen. Something that would make me sleepy enough that I could stop thinking about going to Hawk’s bedroom.

Maybe a fistful of sleeping tablets, because I doubted anything else was going to get him off my brain.

I tried to force my feet in the direction of the kitchen. I swear, I told those bastards to go that way.

And yet I found myself moving to Hawk’s door, knowing it would be locked, but at least he’d be asleep and wouldn’t have the glory of knowing.

My fingers shook, hovering over his handle, and I fought the desire to touch it. “Just fucking walk away, you idiot,” I muttered so quietly it was almost just mouthing the words.

If he was awake and saw me try it, I’d never fucking live it down.

And yet, my stupid fingers twisted the handle anyway.

I waited for the stop of the lock.

It didn’t come.

The handle turned in my grip, and the door opened.

Holy fucking shit.

Hawk lay in his bed, sleeping. His chest rose and fell, pale moonlight streaming in from the window, lighting up the thick biceps and his bare, chiseled chest.

I should have turned around. Walked away. Taken the silent victory and gone back to my room to sleep.

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