Page 13 of Torn In Two

“One of you her husband?” a nurse asked, jotting notes down while the team rushed Kara through the corridors.

“I am,” I lied quickly, knowing that with a serious health complication, only immediate family would be let in. Fucked if they were keeping me away from her.

Hawk shot me a glare that was so full of malice I was surprised it didn’t wither me to the spot. “I am,” he growled.

The nurse glanced between us, confusion etching her forehead into lines. “You’re both her husband?”

Hawk looked ready to punch a hole through my face, but he grit his teeth and answered, “That’s what we said, isn’t it?”

The woman stopped us at the door, forcing us to let Kara and her medical team carry on without us. She tapped something on her iPad. “Noted. Go take a seat over there somewhere, and I’ll come get you as soon as you can see her.” She pointed to some chairs that formed a small waiting room.

Neither Hawk nor I moved, both of us standing there, peering through small rectangular windows on the door until Kara was out of sight.

The nurse’s gaze danced between the two of us. “So just out of interest, you’re…” She cocked her head to one side, considering her words. “If it’s sister wives for women…does that make you brother husbands?”

The way the color drained out of Hawk’s face at the mention of the two of us being husbands would have been funny if Kara hadn’t been lying on a gurney somewhere, struggling to breathe.

“Your homophobia is showing, husband.” I ignored the woman’s question and passed him to move toward the seats.

He ignored the nosy nurse as well, shoving me instead until we were out of her earshot. “Fuck off. I don’t hate you because you love the dick. I hate you because you are one.”

I rolled my eyes, slumping into a seat, no idea where he’d gotten this idea that I liked men from, but more than happy for him to pick a fight because it beat remembering the sickly color of Kara’s skin. I had no problem with Hawk assuming I was into guys. But clearly, he did. “No? You’re saying your balls didn’t just suck right up into your body at the mere thought of me fucking you?”

His gaze met mine.

And for the briefest of instants, it wasn’t disgust I saw there in his expression.

It was white-hot fucking heat.

It hit me too. That same rush of attraction I’d felt when we’d been stuck in jail together for a night.

“Don’t talk about my balls, Chaos.” Hawk scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m dirty and tired and probably in shock. The last thing I want is you traumatizing me some more.”

The hospital bustled around us, our conversation made private by the dull hum of machines beeping, medical conversations, and beds on wheels being moved up and down the corridor.

“Because you’re not a homophobe? Right. Gotcha.” I was tired and dirty too. I hadn’t slept in twenty-four hours, and he wasn’t the only person sitting here nursing a new mental scar from seeing Kara buried beneath the fucking dirt like a corpse. So fuck him if talking about his balls was easier than thinking about the fact Kara could have stopped breathing again, and neither of us would even know it until some doctor walked out here and decided to drop a bomb.

The thought had me clenching my fingers around the plastic armrests so tight my knuckles ached.

His hand fell away, and he glared at me. “Because we both know you’d rather talk about my dick, right? About how fucking much you want it?”

I raised an eyebrow. Talking was better than silence. I couldn’t stand the way the silence whispered this was my fault. If I hadn’t come between Hawk and Kara earlier, none of this would have happened. Sure, she probably would have been naked in his bed, but at least she would have been protected. Happy.

I would have been miserable, but look where being selfish had gotten me? I was miserable anyway.

Poking at Hawk’s barely disguised bi-awakening at least stopped me from thinking about anything else. I sank my head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling. “That how you’re trying to play this one? That it’s me who wants it? Okay, sure, let’s talk that out since we have nothing better to do.” Neither of us had a phone or a book or anything else to pass the time. “Tell me how I want it?”

Hawk recoiled. “What?”

I snorted at his horror. “Yeah, come on. Tell me how I want it. In my mouth? Or in my ass?”

I glanced over at him.

My breath quickened at the expression he tried to cover.

I sat up straighter and shook my head. “Nuh. No fucking way. You actually were seriously just thinking about that, weren’t you?”

He sank down in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “And you weren’t?”