Page 73 of Home to Me

What was she, a baboon?

Lauren felt absolutely sick to her stomach. She sprinted the few steps off the sand and back to the relative safety of the ignorance of her bench.

She dusted the grains of sand off of her feet and slipped back into her designer heels, immediately feeling more like herself.

It's part of the job, she reminded herself. It's not like he was flirting with them for real.

Yeah. Right.

Five minutes later, Ben sauntered up to the bench with his bags slung over his shoulders, and before Lauren could stop herself, she said, “I'm surprised you couldn't charm one of the girls gone wild into carrying those for you.”

Ben laughed, not realizing how hurt she actually was, and said, “I probably could have.”

The town car pulled up, and Ben said, “Perfect timing.”

When the driver popped the trunk, Ben reached for Lauren's bags, but she snapped, “I've got it,” and lifted them in herself.

Ben looked at her strangely, and even Lauren recognized that turning into a jealous shrew every time one of his over-eager fans wanted his autograph, wasn’t a great long-term strategy.

But she couldn't help it. At the moment, her emotions were taking over.

She sighed as she climbed into the back of the town car. It was going to be a long trip home. She grimaced. And with the way I'm acting, she realized, Ben's probably thinking the exact same thing.

Several times on the trip back to Hope Falls, Ben turned to Lauren and asked her what she was upset about. Although Lauren felt extremely tempted to just lay out her feelings for him so that they could talk about it and she would feel better, but every time she stopped just short of doing that and replied, “Nothing.”

Finally, Ben asked point blank if she was upset about the girls who had asked him for autographs.

“Is that all they asked you for?” she asked coldly.

She wanted to slap herself. She knew that all the shit that was coming up had nothing to do with Ben. But in what seemed like a pattern since Ben came into her life, it appeared that she was powerless to stop it.

“It's part of the job, Lauren,” he said, but not unkindly. “I get how you feel. If I had seen you surrounded by oiled-up bodybuilders on Venice Beach or something, having to flirt and sign their body parts, it would make me feel like taking a swing at all of them. Which of course, I wouldn't do—mainly out of self-preservation—but also because, as much as it would hurt to see, I would realize that it was your job.”

Lauren closed her eyes and nodded. She knew he was right. She just needed a little bit of time to get her emotions under control.

She could hear Karina's voice in her head saying, “Gee, Laur, those would probably be good words to say out loud right about now,” but she just couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Lauren pulled out her laptop, powered it up, and began to lose herself in work. On the one hand, it felt good to be distracted. On the other hand, she actually felt somewhat resentful that Ben was just letting her work without trying to further explain his actions or validate her feelings.

How could he just sit there quietly, not saying a word, when he knew full well how upset she was?

“Well, gosh, Laur. Maybe because he's asked you about fifty times if you're all right, and every single time, you've told him you're fine,” she heard Karina's voice pipe up again inside her head.

She grimaced to herself. She must really be losing it if Karina's voice was now starring inside her brain as 'the voice of reason.'

As they made their way through the airport, and then later on the flight itself, Lauren really felt like Ben was making a special point to flirt especially charmingly with every female they ran into—the ticket clerk, the gate attendant, the barista, the flight attendant...even the pilot.

She really was losing it.

About halfway through the car ride back to Hope Falls, Lauren realized that she had had enough. She simply couldn’t take anymore. She slipped the silk eye mask she always traveled with over her eyes, donned her headphones, and leaned her head back to rest, completely ensconced in the small, cozy cocoon she’d created for herself. It felt nice.

The next thing she knew, Ben was carrying her from the town car up to her front door. She realized she must've fallen asleep in the car.

She was groggy but alert enough to understand that, to have some measure of control, she was going to have to get her own feet under her on the ground. She tried to wiggle down, but Ben just held her tighter.

“Relax,” Ben said softly. “This is the least I can do for you after I wore you out last night.”

After a brief moment of internal resistance, Lauren sighed and snuggled deeper into Ben's arms. She loved the way it felt there.

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