Page 59 of Home to Me

“So who did the girl end up being?” Amy asked.

“What?” Lauren was confused.

“The girl,” Amy clarified. “The one he brought to his room.”

“Oh,” said Lauren, her happy mood downshifting a bit. “Um...I don't know, actually.”

“And what did he say about giving you the cold shoulder? Did he apologize and promise never to do it again?” Amanda asked indignantly.

“Oh, yeah, well...” Lauren waffled. “I guess we didn't really get around to talking about that.”

“So let me get this straight,” Sam said suspiciously. “You had numerous concerns about not only his behavior but the way he was treating you, you went to his trailer to detail those concerns, stand up for yourself, and demand that he treat you with the respect you deserve, and what ended up happening instead is you had hot monkey sex and didn't discuss any of your issues. Sound about right?”

Lauren nodded, looking unsure. She hadn't really laid out the sequence of events exactly that way in her mind yet, but once she did, she had to admit that they sounded just about right.

“And you all accuse me of being naïve about relationships,” Sam said with disgust.

“Don't listen to Judgy McJudgerson over there,” Karina said. “I, for one, like your style, kid. I approve wholeheartedly.”

“I'm not sure that's the best message to be sending her, Karina,” Amanda said, concern written across her face.

“What am I, an ABC Afterschool Special?” Karina said. “She's a grown-ass woman. She doesn't need to be forming her ideas about what the world is like based on the things I say to her. Besides, I don't actually see the problem here. She went to his trailer to ask him to treat her nicely. It sounds like that's exactly what he did.”

“Except this isn't actually my style,” Lauren said, sounding a little depressed.

“What?” Amanda asked.

“Karina said she liked my style,” Lauren responded, “except that's kind of the problem, isn't it? This isn't my style. None of this is my style. Not having such strong feelings, not giving over all of the control, and certainly not the bizarre experience of having absolutely no idea what is going through the other person's head at any given moment. None of that is my style, and I don't like it one bit.

“Except…I really like Ben. That's the part of this that I can't get past. Something about him is just special. Yes, he makes me absolutely crazy sometimes, and at times, I feel like I'm losing my ever-loving mind when I'm around him or when I think about him. But at other times, I feel the best, and the safest, and the happiest, and the most fulfilled that I've ever felt with anyone or anything. Ever.

“It's a little bit hard to reconcile, to say the least.” Lauren concluded.

“I should have you repeat all of that into the recorder app on my iPhone so I could transcribe it and base the lyrics of my next song around it,” Karina said, laughing. “That’s how universal those feelings are about falling head over heels for someone. I know you're not a very sit-back-and-enjoy-the-ride type of person, Lauren—but, honestly, my advice to you is to sit back and enjoy the ride. It may be bumpy, but it sure as hell is fun.”

19

Ben pulled his rental car into the parking lot at Mountain Ridge Outdoor Adventures on Monday morning. He had come to a decision and was determined to stick to with it.

He’d done a lot of thinking over the weekend. Spending an entire weekend alone in a hotel room, except for the three hours he was committed to hosting a dedication ceremony, gives one plenty of time to think. So, he’d done plenty of that. He thought while sitting on his bed, while standing in the shower, while he ate, while he sat by the pool, while he worked out, and for the entire drive back up the mountain to Hope Falls.

The decision he’d come to was this—he needed to show Lauren what a good man he was and how serious he was about her. He needed to show her the side of him that not everyone got to see. The sensitive side, the strong side, the deep side.

With most people, he stuck to his ‘television show host’ persona for several different reasons.

First, it was the simplest thing. He was at work to do a job. So were the rest of the people who made the television show. Whatever their job, from the director all the way down to the PA, they weren't there to socialize and make friends. They were there to put out a damn good TV show. If he ‘stuck to the script’ so to speak, it was just easier for everyone all around.

Second, it was what people expected. From his coworkers to his fans, they liked to see him behaving offscreen the same way that he behaved onscreen. To see a different side of him, a side of him that wasn't perpetually witty and upbeat and obsessed with high-end real estate, would mess with their minds.

The third reason, and the one that was most applicable to this situation, was that he’d never met anyone he’d want to go deeper with.

That had all changed with Lauren. He wanted to share everything with her. He wanted to make a life with her. He wanted to hold nothing back from her.

But she wasn't the kind of woman who would simply jump at that chance. That was part of the reason why he’d fallen so hard for her, precisely because she was like no other woman he’d ever met. To make things work with Lauren, he was going to have to put forth some serious effort. Yes, to make things work with Lauren, that was going to be the operative word—work. And he couldn't wait. He was going to love every minute of it.

One thing he knew he might have to face, possibly as soon as the meeting this morning, was her giving him the cold shoulder. That was one of her quirks. She ran hot and cold. He couldn't blame her. He’d actually done the same thing. But problems started up when they both were running cold at the same time.

He was determined that, from now on, that simply wouldn’t happen. He was going to run warm from here on out. If he walked into the meeting this morning and found that she was ignoring him, angry with him, or in any way had built back up those walls surrounding her heart that he’d worked so diligently to tear down, he would merely ignore that attitude and continue to treat her with the kindness and warmth that came so naturally when the two of them were both running hot.

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