Page 45 of Home to Me

Why didn’t he talk to her?

Was he angry with her?

Was he hurt?

Was he trying to prove a point?

Was she being dramatic to think that he was intentionally ignoring her and in fact it was as simple as he just didn't care if she’d been there or not?

And the shallowest of all the questions—how was it possible that he’d looked that amazing in his suit?

Lauren felt as if everything in her life were spinning out of control. She was letting her business fall to the wayside while she pursued a television opportunity that might or might not pan out. She was giving her heart and soul to a man who might or might not view her as just a weekend conquest—a glorified groupie—and she couldn't seem to stop herself. And now, she was sacrificing her one uninterrupted workday to obsess over him.

Who was she? Who was this person she was becoming? Because it certainly wasn't Lauren Harrison.

She was certainly not a person who would count the hours down until she was going to see a man again, yet that's precisely what she was doing with Ben. She glanced at the clock. Nineteen more to go.

She was certainly not a person who would ever second-guess her decisions and her actions, yet here she was—sitting at her desk when she should be working—wondering if she was doing the right thing in backing off from Ben or if she was passing up the opportunity of a lifetime.

She was certainly not a person who would ever waste time sitting around, analyzing over and over again every little sentence or phrase that a man had said to her. Yet that is exactly what she found herself doing now. Choosing little sentences, little responses, Ben had said to her and trying to pick them apart piece by piece.

What was his tone of voice when he said it? What was the expression on his face at the time? Was he touching her arm? Were there two ways to take that phrase? Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic?

And she wasn't doing this merely for things he said to her this weekend. Oh, no. That would be somewhat sane. Nope, she was mentally rehashing all the things he'd ever said to her over the course of their entire relationship. She snorted. Their entire relationship? Yes, the entire three weeks they had known each other. Quite a relationship.

Get a grip.

She was doing everything in her power to stop the movie that was playing on a loop in her brain—the movie starring Ben Stevens—but it was apparently a marathon and she’d bought a ticket she couldn’t refund.

The Ben Stevens movie marathon didn’t only contain scenes of uncertainty and angst, however. There were moments—many moments—of pure happiness. There were moments that were replaying in her brain—with ever-increasing frequency—that showed her just how sweet it might be to make a life with Ben Stevens.

For instance, she thought about how incredibly helpful he'd been with the television show. He completely rescued her at the screen test, which led to her being hired, which could turn out to be an incredible opportunity for her if the show got picked up.

She didn't discount her own role in that. Lauren was never one to downplay her own gifts and talents, but there was absolutely no arguing that, if Ben hadn’t stepped in when he did, her stage fright would have ruined it all. In that sense, this entire adventure was all because of him.

After they’d been on set together as well, he’d taken the lead in showing her the ropes. He could’ve been condescending, or he could've ignored her. There were times on the set that she felt like everyone was speaking in code and she had absolutely no idea how to decipher it.

If Ben wanted to let her sink, it would’ve been as simple as just letting those instances go, knowing that she wasn't clear on what was needed from her and simply not help her, letting her flounder. But he never did, not even once.

Most people she knew in real estate were completely out for themselves. It wasn't that they were back stabbers by any means. They didn't go out of their way to steal things that weren't theirs or to sabotage anyone else's success. It wasn't like that. But just as in any other highly competitive profession where large amounts of money were at stake, everyone looked out for number one. You weren't going to see someone helping out a less experienced professional when it was highly possible that that person would be gunning for their job or their clients at some point.

She could only imagine that it was worse in show business. There were bigger egos involved and the stakes were even higher. Multimillion-dollar paydays and lucrative jobs that could potentially stretch years into the future, were on the line. You don’t just give a leg up to someone who might one day replace you. It just wasn't done.

Yet...Ben did.

Every time she needed help… there he was.

Every time she didn’t understand something…there he was.

Every time she’d been stressed out about the workload? There he was.

In fact, in just about every instance that she could think of in the short time she had known him, he was always there to help.

Could the same be said in reverse?

With regret, she realized, it certainly could not.

She’d never given Ben Stevens one iota of a reason to be nice to her, yet he was.

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