Page 76 of Home to Me

He might fault her form, but he certainly couldn't fault her content.

So now, Ben found himself on the brink of making himself very vulnerable by asking a woman to commit to him. A woman whose feelings he was unsure of.

For the first time ever, when dealing with someone of the opposite sex, he was making a move without being one hundred percent sure of what her response would be.

As they stood on the patio, she wouldn’t quite meet his eyes. Okay, maybe not the best sign ever. Still, Ben decided that he had to forge ahead regardless. In about thirty minutes, a car was picking him up and he was headed to San Francisco for the weekend, and then home to LA after that. If he didn't tell her he loved her now, who knew if he would get a second chance?

Ben cleared his throat and Lauren finally looked up at him. In her luminous green eyes, he read hesitation, trepidation...possibly even fear.

Okay, he figured he should add that to the list of things that were 'probably not the best sign'—but he couldn’t turn back now. He took a deep breath. Maybe if he backed off on the dramatic declaration of love and just eased into this by seeing if she would consider having a relationship with him…

“Look, I don’t know how you’re feeling about us, but I really care about you and I would like to see where this goes,” he began. Then he was silent, giving her time to process and formulate a response.

Lauren was also quiet for a moment, and then she finally said, “Well, you’re leaving, so I’m not sure it goes anywhere.”

This wasn't going as well as he’d hoped. Patiently, he explained, “Look. We don’t live that far apart. If we wanted to, we could see each other all the time.”

He waited for her to answer, and when her lips pursed, frustration shot through him.

“Come on, Lauren. I'm scared, too, but don’t use that as an excuse not to give this a shot.”

Irritation flashed in those green eyes he loved so much, and she defensively snapped, “I'm not scared.”

Ben nodded. “Well, I am. But I'm more in love with you than I am scared. So I want a real relationship. I want to give it a shot.”

He saw her skin blanch when he said that he was in love with her. Wow. The list of things in the 'probably not the best sign' column was growing longer by the minute.

Lauren's face hardened. “Give what a shot?” she said, her voice trembling. “This isn’t anything. We hooked up a few times, had some fun. That was all this was.”

Her statement caused him to step back as if she’d put her hands on his shoulders and physically pushed him backward.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing her say. This couldn't be true.

He said, “Really? Just a hook-up? That’s what this was to you? The day in the hospital with my mom, and that night at my house! That was all just a hook-up?”

He saw something skitter across her face, but he couldn't nail down what it might be. When she stood up straighter and looked directly into his eyes, though, he had no problem identifying that expression. It was resolve.

All hint of a tremor gone from her voice, she said firmly, “Yes.”

Ben began to walk slowly, but inexorably, towards her until she was backed up against the wall of the café. He slowly raised both of his hands, rested them on the wall, one on either side of her face, and leaned in slowly until their lips were barely just an inch apart.

He saw her pupils dilate as he said in a low voice, “I don’t know why you’re lying to me. But I do know that you sure as hell don’t believe it any more than I do.

“And here’s the thing: I don’t play games. This hot-and-cold thing you’ve had going on may work for you and the other men you’ve been with, but it does not work for me. I’m not some toy you can play with when we’re on location and then dismiss when we return to your real life.

“I’m in love with you Lauren Harrison, and you may not be in love with me, but I guarantee you that I am more than a hook-up to you. Aren’t I?”

Lauren didn’t answer right away. She just stared at him.

He lowered his mouth so that their lips brushed each other as he spoke. “Tell me I am more than a hook-up to you and that you want to see me again.”

Her breathing was labored, and he could feel the electricity rushing between them.

She pushed on his chest weakly and with tears filling her eyes, said, “It was fun, but it was just a hook-up.”

With that, she ducked out from between his arms and disappeared through the back door of Sue Ann’s Café.

Ben felt like he’d just been sucker-punched in the gut.

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