Page 2 of Bucked By Love

“Can we train?” I ask and, finally, Daddy lifts his gray eyes from his paper. That, at least, almost always gets his attention.

“Very well. Recite your history.”

I get up, skipping and twirling my way through the room. Daddy has an entire wall in his study devoted to the Belleflower Queens. Each Queen has her own, unique poster. They’re collector’s items—beautiful women striking a pose with bright, triangle shapes emanating behind them. They each wear a sharp, diamond crown.

“The first Belleflower Queen coronation was in 1975. The Belleflower Queen was a legend that came from the miners. After a cave collapse, seventeen miners were trapped for five days in the hollow of the mountain. When they made it out, they said they were rescued by a woman in a white dress, draped with flowers. They called her the Belleflower Queen. Since then, every fall, a new Belleflower Queen is announced by the Benefactors Society—” I turn and offer Daddy a curtsey. “Thank you, Daddy.”

He huffs. It almost sounds like a laugh. Daddy is one of the founding members of the Benefactors Society, and he doesn’t let anyone forget it.

He nods. “Continue.”

I clasp my hands behind my back. I rock from side to side. “Notable Belleflower Queens include Queen of ’89, Senator Stacey Reid, Queen of ’92, composer Abigail Lawless, and Queen of ’98, Oscar-winning actress Meghan Pryor.

“Belleflower Queens are the best that Belleflower has to offer. Each Queen is chosen by the Benefactor Society, but the identity of the Queen isn’t announced until the night before her coronation ceremony. Once she’s accepted the position, she’s then celebrated with a parade through town and honored by her community. After her coronation, she engages in a vigorous, year-long training, before she can enter the world as a competent, successful woman.”

But at thirteen, I’m not thinking about the doors being Belleflower Queen could open for me. I’m not thinking about the full-ride tuition, the networking opportunities, or the generous stipend provided by the Benefactors Society.

I’m thinking about the crown.

Every coronation, I watch as the Belleflower Queen waves from her float. She wears a beautiful, white dress laced with springtime flowers. Her crown is a beautiful, silver headpiece that sparkles in the sun. She smiles and waves, flanked by her “Stallions,” men dressed in suits with horse-head masks to keep them anonymous. The Stallions throw beads and flowers to the people below.

The men wear masks because they don’t matter.

Only she matters.

The bright, beautiful Queen.

I want so badly to be a Belleflower Queen, sometimes, it’s all I can think about.

“And what are the commandments of the Belleflower Queen?” Daddy tests me. “From memory.”

I spin away from the commandments, putting my back to the wall so Daddy knows I’m not cheating. Then I recite:

“One, a Belleflower Queen must present with poise and grace.

“Two, a Belleflower Queen must respect her body and keep herself pure and unmarried until coronation.

“Three, a Belleflower Queen must exhibit a proficiency in academics and constantly strive to improve her education.

“Four, a Belleflower Queen must be a pillar of society, volunteering her time and dedicating herself to the community of Belleflower.

“Five, a Belleflower Queen must be perfect and…”

I stop. My brain has short-circuited.

Daddy narrows his eyes at me. “And?”

“A…a Belleflower Queen must be perfect. She must understand that disobedience and mistakes are…that…mistakes…”

“Mistakes are unacceptable and a reflection of ugliness upon her character,” Daddy finishes for me.

I stand there, hot-faced and tight-chested.

He stares at me for a lengthy moment. The silence stretches out, interrupted only by the click-click of the seconds hand of his old, grandfather clock.

“Leave,” he says. “Go to your room.”

“But…dinner…”

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