Page 17 of Double Bucked

And then, finally, it does.

I answer quickly. “Ransom. Where are you?”

My voice is tight. Even I can hear the tremble.

Then he says my three least favorite words in the English language. “I’m not coming.”

All the blood leaves my face.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?”

His tone is sad but decided. “I can’t leave. This is my home.”

“I thought…I thought I was your home.”

“I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry.

Two words that could never mean so little.

I unpin my tongue from the roof of my mouth. “If you’re staying, I’m staying.”

His voice is firm suddenly. “No. Bear. You said it yourself. You stay here, you’ll never be anything but your daddy’s prize. You gotta go.”

“I can’t do this without you.”

My voice hitches. People are starting to stare. I bow myself over and let my long hair fall like a curtain in front of my face.

Ransom’s voice comes through the phone so clearly that if I close my eyes, I can imagine he’s holding me and whispering in my ear. “You can. And you will. If leaving me means finding yourself, you’re going to get off your tight little ass and march your way up to that plane. You hear me?”

I swallow. Everything is too tight to speak.

Ransom continues, his voice soft now. “You’re the strongest, most capable woman I know. You can do this.”

Over the loudspeakers, the attendants are calling. It’s time to board.

I close my eyes.

“I hate you,” I whisper.

Meaning it. But meaning something else, too.

There’s a long pause. “Go catch your plane, Claire.”

The very sound of my name in his voice hurts me.

How many times has he moaned my name in my ear?

How many times have I heard it grunted in frustration when I piss him off?

How many times has he said that word through rumbling bouts of laughter?

Anger lashes my heart like a whip. “Fuck you.”

I end the call, white-knuckle my purse, and line up with all the other travelers. I hand over my one-way ticket to Paris and board the plane.

I don’t let myself cry until I’m thousands of feet in the air, where no one down below in Belleflower can hear me break.

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