Page 88 of Beyond The Stars

“Hello?”

“Qamar Moony, I’ve been trying to reach you. This Three, the owner of The Emerald City Kings. You ready?”

“Um, what you mean?” Qamar scratched at the back of his head. His line-up was severely grown out.

“I said are you ready, nigga?” Three was a Black man and the only Black owner of an MLS team.

Qamar laughed at the way the man talked to him like they were familiar. “I mean, what you offering?”

“Everything a Black man deserves. Come see me,” Three suggested with confidence.

“Send over the details.” Qamar nodded, feeling good about it. So good, his heart almost burst out of his chest.

“Say less. Sending now. Enjoy the rest of your day, Qamar,” Three said before ending the call.

“I knew you had all the answers.” Siasia craned her neck to look him in his eyes. Her personal Superman. Every time she looked at him she felt assured, assured that he would defeat all the bad guys in her universe.

26

Days later, Siasia sat on a rock watching the sun set and the waves crash onto the sand. Her eyes were bloody red from the downpour of tears that didn't seem to end. To give herself a break from trying to hide it, she decided to sit at the beach that was merely feet away from Qamar's condo.

As she sat there, she wondered why it had taken her so long to take advantage of being in a high-rise that sat on the beach. It was calming and peaceful— made her feel closer to her mom since she wasn't able to officially bury her.

Cynthia's body was burned to a crisp and all they had were some bullshit ashes that was probably more of the trailer than her actual mom. To make matters worse, she knew Stacy was probably mixed in too. That didn't matter because Qamar paid for her mama to be sent home in style. With just the three of them and a pastor, it turned out beautifully. Cynthia would’ve loved it.

Now, after so much had gone on around her, Siasia was finally able to process and grieve. The grieving seemed to have a vendetta with her by the way water poured from her eyes. Not only did she not want Qamar to worry, but she also didn't want Noodle to be sad. It was why she had made the executive decision to take her ass outside to cry as much as she wanted, hoping the tears would run into the ocean without leaving any evidence of her broken heart.

“Oh, mama,” she cried. “I wish you could see the way this man loves me.” Siasia wiped her face as her chest shook. “I was scared at first, and I kept running because your version of love was all I knew, and I didn’t want that. Hell, for you or me.” She laughed just a little, thinking about all the times she told her mama Stacy didn’t love her. “Now I understand how dumb and blind love can make you.” A breeze swept across her face. Siasia knew it had to be her mama hugging her. “Ma, I went to this man’s baby mama’s house. Chile, I just knew she was going to be ready to fight but love carried me there and love gave me patience.” Snickering, she looked off into the sky, seeing the seagulls flying in a circle.

A deep sigh deflated her chest. “I just miss you. I know you’re somewhere in heaven dancing with the other angels and you’ve found peace. That’s all I wanted for you because I’ve found it too.”

Talking to her mama was better than talking to God. It aided in her search for understanding. As her tears settled, relieving her of the pain in her chest, tiny hands caused her to jump.

“You okay, SiSi?” Noodle asked, looking back to make eye contact with Qamar who’d walked her down after they saw Siasia sitting on the beach.

Siasia reached out her arms to lift Noodle onto the rock with her. “I’m okay, now. What about you? I know I haven’t been feeding your feelings, and I apologize for that.”

“I think I’m okay. I know what dying is but maybe I don’t all the way understand how I should feel. I loved my daddy and mama, and I’m sad a little but I’m happy that I still have you,” she confessed, looking up into her big sister’s eyes. “And Qamar. He has been the best since he came into my life.”

Siasia nodded, understanding how Noodle felt about Qamar because she had the same feelings. Her life became better the day he wrapped his arm around her mid-section at that party.

“Well I want you to know I’m here for you and if you want to cry, you can cry until your heart is content.”

“What about if I want to get to know Jackie?” Noodle eased her eyes back up to Siasia. She’d always known of Jackie but Cynthia was her mother no matter what DNA said.

Siasia swallowed the bile that threatened to spill. “Um, that’s okay too, Noodle.”

Her mind said it was okay but her heart told her to take her sister and get her brain erased. The thought of having to be cordial with Jackie didn’t sit right with her but the speech of being dumb in love with her mama replayed in her mind. Just like she was in love with Qamar, she was also in love with Noodle and when love was involved you often tossed ill feelings to the side.

Noodle hugged her. “I’m so happy I still got you, SiSi.”

“Me, too.” Siasia returned the gesture, kissing her on the head. “It’s us forever.”

“Beyond the stars.” Noodle snickered.

“You really like that little saying, don’t you?” She peered down at Noodle in her arms.

“I like how it makes me feel.” The corners of Noodle’s mouth perked up.

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