Page 70 of Beyond The Stars

Just as she leaned back, savoring the moment, her phone buzzed on the table, breaking the spell. It was Ally. Siasia hesitated, memories of their last encounter flooding her mind—the awkwardness of the failed lunch date, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.

With a deep breath, she answered, her smile fading as Ally’s voice trembled through the line.

“Siasia, I… I don’t know how to say this,” Ally’s voice cracked, and Siasia’s heart dropped, sensing the weight of tragedy behind her words. “Your mother was murdered… by Stacy. He… he turned the gun on himself after. She was just cooking when the argument started, and then… the gas caught the trailer on fire.”

The phone fell from Siasia’s hands. Her body shook in shock.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” Qamar asked. “Siasia.” He shook her body after seeing her face go blank.

Tears filled her eyes. Gasping for air, Siasia held onto the table.

“Siasia, what’s wrong?” Candi went to her side while Qamar tried to get her to talk.

He looked down at her phone and picked it up. “Hello?”

“Um, this Siasia’s friend. Her mama was just killed by her husband,” Ally revealed, sounding just as shook up.

Without much that was deemed newsworthy happening in Lynn Beach, the murder slash suicide was all over every news channel and radio. When Ally heard the news, she connected with a few people from the trailer park through social media to figure out where Noodle and Siasia was. It was how she knew to call her to inform her on what had happened. Ally loved Siasia in a weird way and the lack of communication over the last few weeks wasn’t enough to stop her from reaching out.

“Where is Noodle?”

“At a neighbor’s house. She got out the house but left her iPad in there.”

Coating his lips with his saliva, he thanked Ally before pulling Siasia from the table. As soon as he got her out her chair, she broke down.

“Mama.” Siasia’s stomach coiled as she wailed for her mother. “Oh, Mama,” she sobbed, breaking everyone’s heart.

How could it be that every time she felt a sliver of happiness, He slapped her back to reality? Siasia couldn’t live like this. The fear of success came with the fear of losing and she was tired of losing.

PART THREE

BEYOND THE STARS

20

Siasia stood at the window, the dim light of dusk seeping through the curtains, casting shadows that danced across the room like her swirling emotions. Days blurred into nights, and the relentless passage of time felt like a cruel joke as she struggled to find her footing in a world that had suddenly become so foreign. The weight of her grief pressed down on her chest, making it hard to breathe, each inhale a reminder of the void her mother had left behind.

As she gazed out, the vibrant colors of the sunset felt like a mocking reminder of the joy that had been stripped away. She thought of the countless conversations they would never have, the words left unspoken hanging heavily in the air. Siasia clenched her fists, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. It was a battle she fought daily, trying to be strong for Noodle, but inside, she felt like a ship lost at sea, tossed by waves of sorrow and longing.

The whispers of society echoed in her mind, telling her she had no right to grieve a mother who had been deemed unworthy, but Siasia's heart rebelled against those judgments. She knew the truth—the love Cynthia had given was flawed yet fierce, shaped by her own struggles and the weight of a world that had told her she needed a man to be whole.

In defiance, Siasia whispered to the empty room, “You don’t understand.” Her voice trembled with the intensity of her love and loss, as she wrapped her arms around herself, seeking comfort in the memories that lingered like ghosts in the corners of her mind.

The trailer that she hated was now gone so she’d found refuge in Qamar’s spacious apartment. It was weird because all she wanted was to go back into the two-by-two single wide trailer and share a room with Noodle.

She wanted to wake up and see her mother sitting in the living in a daze while the local news watched her. She’d go back to all of the things she so desperately wanted to leave if she could. However, life and death didn’t work that way and the way God had been snatching any and everything away from her, she knew she couldn’t ask Him for a miracle.

Her first professional shoot turned out beautifully. Too bad she couldn’t celebrate it. All of her emotions and thoughts were with her mother.

“Oh, God,” Siasia cried out, grief swallowing her whole. “Please,” she begged. “Just give me a break.” Her hoarse voice came out in a whisper.

Cynthia’s homegoing service was beautiful thanks to Qamar. He spared no expense when it came to laying her mother to rest. She’d forever be indebted to him for all of the love and patience he’d shown to her during the hardest part of her life. Despite his own hardships, he gave her all of him the best way he knew how. He took care of Noodle during the day and her at night. He was truly a godsend. In her mind, it was the least God could do when he was dead set on giving her a hard time in every other aspect of her life.

They said He gave His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers, but that couldn’t have been true. Siasia’s flesh was weak—had been weak all of her life. Whatever strength He thought was there, He had clearly misread.

The sound of keys jingling in the door made Siasia wipe her face and take a seat on the couch. She didn’t want Noodle to see her in distress.

“Is she sad?” she heard Esmeray’s voice that was too old for her.

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