Page 7 of Beyond The Stars

“But you at the party making fuckin’ kissy faces with some bitch that ain't me!” In typical Janay fashion, her voice was raised right along with her tiny arms. When it came to giving Qamar a hard time, she was the leader of the pack. So much so that he always expected her to find an issue with something he did.

Like last night. She didn’t like the idea of her fake friends running to tell her that her baby daddy was on some girl that none of them really knew. The claims and calls created more speculation about their lack of a relationship and Janay was tired of defending it.

“I ain’t here to fuss with you. You said you have an appointment so let’s get going.” Qamar slipped his feet into a pair of designer sneakers that were more comfortable than they looked. He could’ve dressed down but he’d been taught to always show up dressed to impress.

Even back when his big sister, Luna, couldn’t afford to buy him and his sister, Solar, the newest sneakers, she always made sure they wore clean clothes and their shoes weren’t busted. Luna was so selfless that she went without while always making sure her siblings had everything they needed and sometimes wanted. Some things stuck with him. Anything Luna taught him, he held close to the chest.

“Nigga, whatever. You think having a conversation is considered an argument.” Janay snaked her neck. “Thanks for reminding me that you are still a fuckin’ child.”

Small things like that got under his skin. Janay knew it, too. It was the low she hit when she felt like Qamar wasn’t engaging with her in the way she wanted. It was the constant reminder that he was having a baby with someone who he felt nothing deep for. Someone he barely knew and often didn’t even like.

Qamar knew he was just as much to blame for his situation as Janay. However, sometimes he felt it was more of his fault than hers. He had already brought a baby home at sixteen. Now, he was doing it again. No matter how much he wanted to fuss or be mad about it, he had to admit, he’d made his bed and now he had to lay in it. That came with biting his tongue so much, there was an indent at the tip of his tongue from his teeth digging into it.

Qamar’s downturned cognac brown eyes dragged across the room until they got to her. “You ready?”

Her lips smacked in exhaustion. Janay wanted him to say more. It was the only way she knew she meant something to him. Under his gaze, she often felt unseen. It wasn’t always like that. Or maybe it was. They were never really an item but shortly after meeting, she found herself pregnant. The time it took to get to know someone was bypassed because they were about to be someone’s parents.

College was supposed to be filled with everything but pregnancy. Too bad she couldn’t rewrite their history. If she could, she would always end up carrying his child but maybe, she’d give them some time to get to know each other—give him time to love her fully. Pouting, Janay stomped past him as he stepped to the side for her to walk out first. He could only shake his head when his eyes connected to her plump backside. His baby gave Janay the extra ass she always wanted.

In the beginning, she was a petite thing. Short, small waist, and ass but her breasts were big and full. Her light skin was always moisturized and smelled divine. She was pretty. Simply put. Long locs that hung down her back was a feature that drew him to her. Too bad, the surface wasn’t an indication to what she had inside. Inside, Janay was just the average girl from an upper middle-class family that thought her shit didn’t stink because she had light skin and a good skincare routine.

Now, she was mean, moody, and thicker than a king-sized candy bar.

Janay twisted her body with every step she took. She knew Qamar had his eyes on her, and she never missed an opportunity to remind him on what he’d been missing. Lately, their interactions only consisted of her begging him for his time and him only showing up when it was about their unborn daughter. Qamar also took great care of her, and his sister paid for her college tuition. To most that was a win but to Janay, she didn’t feel like a winner.

“Stop trying to do too much,” Qamar fussed as his hand rested on the small of her back and he helped her ease into his low sports car.

There was once a time when Janay loved riding shotgun in his car but with a huge belly, sitting low was a feat. “Thank you,” she mumbled, still in her feelings.

Qamar chuckled to himself as he reached over her to buckle her seat belt. During the walk over to his driver’s side, he remembered his night with Siasia. The way she reached over to open his door played on his mind like his favorite movie. Since that night, he hadn’t seen her in the physical. In his mind, she was there every night.

Before he pulled off, he faced Janay. “Look, I ain't trying to argue with you every time we see each other. I know you pregnant and don’t like the way it looks when I’m in another girl’s face. I’ll be mindful.”

“The way it looks?” Janay’s eyes bucked at his wording. “I don’t like the way it feels. I’m carrying your baby, and we should be trying to make our relationship work.”

Frustratedly, he ran his hand down her face, tugging on his beard. “I can’t change the situation we’re in but I ain’t pressed for pretending we’re something we ain't. I’ll always have love for you but I ain’t in love with you, Janay.”

“Why won’t you just try, though?” Janay’s voice cracked. Even without the pregnancy hormones, she was a bag of water.

Instead of explaining himself for the what felt like millionth time, Qamar turned the music up and headed to the doctor’s appointment. The whole ride over, Janay huffed and puffed while scrolling on her phone. She often vented to her mother who wasn’t the biggest fan of Qamar. Renata, Janay’s mother, didn’t care about the wealth of Qamar or his promising professional soccer career. She was pissed that her daughter would be a single mother. She wasn’t trying to hear Janay say they could be a family. Renata knew Qamar wasn’t in love with her baby. He was already a father to one. That was all she needed to know.

Qamar pulled into the overpriced OB’s office with one thing on his mind. He didn’t want Janay to hate him, and he tried his best to treat her right. His sisters and mama would have his head if they found out he was being a dog.

“On some real shit, Janay, I’m sorry and I will try to be more mindful of your feelings.”

“Sorry for what, Qamar?” Janay looked up from her phone.

“For not loving you the way you need.” Pushing his door open, he turned before he got out. “I’ll always treat you with respect because you’re my daughter’s mother.”

His panty wetting smile, forced her lips to curl and her heart to ache. “Thank you,” Janay pushed out, trying to hold back her second set of tears for the day. She understood what he said but all she heard was, I will treat you the same way I treat my other baby mama—you’re not special. And that reality hurt way more than him smiling in the next bitch’s face. At this point, Janay was only a player on the team. She wasn’t a star nor the coach’s favorite. If she wanted to be the franchise player, she was going to have to practice harder and show him why she was the best because being a baby mama was beneath her.

“Two parties in a row? Janay must be nagging you hard?” Drake jested to Qamar as they sat a table in the corner of a local strip club.

It was Qamar’s first time there and it didn’t take much convincing for his friend to get him there. After Janay’s doctor appointment, he spent a few days with her in between his classes and practice. Since he was a father, his family paid for him to have his own apartment not far from campus. Technically, he was supposed to stay on campus but with money and his star power, his coach made an exception for him.

“Man, you have no idea.” Qamar chortled.

“Two kids, two mamas. I don’t want to be you on my worst day.”

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