Page 27 of Beyond The Stars

Slapping his back she huffed. “I can hardly remember.”

“Stop lying, mama. You probably had me on the screensaver of your phone,” he teased.

“Probably would’ve if I had a phone. Hell, I read the article in the doctor’s office one day when my mama took me.” Her truth was so embarrassing, all she could do was laugh. Laughing to keep from crying was a real mission statement for her. “What I wouldn’t give to grow up in that kind of family.”

“You think so?” Qamar rolled over onto his back. “I love them so much. After Lunar died, Luna raised us as best she could. Our ma was on the bottle heavy, and me and Solar ain’t know who our daddy were so they were nowhere to be found.”

“Lunar, Luna, and Solar?”

“Lunar and Luna twins. He died the year before he turned eighteen, leaving Luna to pick up his slack. My big brother was a man before his nuts dropped.” Qamar smiled, thinking about his brother who was taken too soon. “I try to follow in his footsteps and walk the path he would want me to walk but it’s hard. Luna made a way by the grace of God. She ain’t do it on her own though. Lunar’s best friends stepped up and stepped in like the young big steppers they were. Even with all them obstacles in their way, all of them: Luna, Solar, French, Javen, and Tiny made it to the big leagues in each of their fields.”

“You don’t sound happy for them,” Siasia said, confused.

To make sure she felt his next words, Qamar stared her in the face. “I’m so proud of my people. Because of them, I was given a better life since I was still young to reap the benefits. They all afforded me so many different opportunities. Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed as hell.” He wet his lips. “Shit just fucks me up because where the fuck can I take them when they already took it to the moon?” Qamar’s personal thoughts somehow spilled out and his eyes went to the window.

With her eyes following his to the night sky, she looked past the moon. “Beyond the stars, that’s where you take them.”

“You ever been to a soccer game?” Qamar asked, fully engulfed in his own emotions.

Siasia looked at him crazily. How could he go from spilling his guts to asking her about soccer? She could tell he’d never opened up to anyone like that before. It was like he was soaring freely before reality set in and he came crashing back down to reality. Any preconceived notions she felt before started to vanish the more time she spent with him.

“Uh, no.” Uncertainty laced her response.

“It ain’t soccer season yet but I want you and Noodle to come to one of my practices. I gotta get y’all up to speed before the season starts.”

Her heart swelled from the way he made sure to include Noodle. “I mean if the times match up, I don’t see why we can’t.”

Liking her response, he nodded. “Oh, and you ain’t working at the club no more… and no more of that little side business you had going on. I ain’t one to judge but it’s a wrap on that, mama.”

“You saying all that like you gone pay my bills.” She snaked her neck, ready for a full on argument.

“Shit, I can do that.”

“For how long though?” Siasia wasn’t with the temporary shit or him being caught up in the moment after mind blowing, good sex. She wasn’t a plaything he could put back on the shelf. She came with Noodle and that meant she needed to be more sure about him than anything else. Just from spending one day with him, she could tell her little sister was just as smitten with him as she was. It was funny and sexy to watch until it all came crashing down and she had to nurse a ten-year-old’s first heartbreak.

Instead of answering her right away, he yanked her down to him where he wrapped her up in the strongest arms she’d ever been in. “Until you say so.”

“What if I say so now?”

“You ain’t.” His confidence was enough to convince her. “Now lay down so your body can heal just in case I find myself back between your thighs before the sun comes up.”

9

“How you feeling?” Qamar balanced his phone on his shoulders while he searched the closet for something to throw on. He had to be at the private airstrip in less than an hour.

“Ready for her to come out. I kinda regret not having a baby shower. You think we should’ve?” Janay inquired out of breath. She was nearing her due date and her bundle of joy made sure to remind her of it by sucking all the life out of her.

“That’s your call. You know she gone be straight regardless.”

“I miss you. I miss us, Qamar. I think you should really give us a chance.” Janay didn’t care about coming off as desperate. She grew up in a two-parent household and wanted the same for her daughter.

When Janay admitted to wanting more than a coparent relationship from him, he never knew how to respond. Qamar prided himself on treating women the way he wanted men to treat his sisters and since he was a girl dad, he made sure to show them by example, but it was more difficult to be the nice guy and take the high road. He didn’t want Janay like that—would’ve told her to abort the baby if it didn’t feel so horrible saying it out loud. Now, there they were young and trying to figure out a life only one of them seemed to want.

He tried to find the best words to divert the conversation away from the whole family thing but his words were alluding him. “All you need to be focused on is having a healthy baby.”

“I am… I can do both, Qamar. I’m just saying we’re compatible. I come from a nice middle-class family. You family loves me and I love Esmeray. We could really work,” Janay tried laying it on thick. “I mean, you ain’t really give me a chance.”

“Janay,” Qamar spoke exhaustedly, tired of the same conversation every time they spoke. That and there was something ugly hanging over their heads.

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