Page 16 of Beyond The Stars

“At the tracks like he always is.”

“With what money, Mama?”

“Oh, don’t start your shit, Si.”

“Why won’t you just leave him? I cannot understand what makes you stay. He’s gone all day, and it’s the perfect time for you to pack up Noodle and leave,” Siasia suggested, mapping out a full plan.

Cynthia stood from her seat. “And go where, Siasia?! Look at me, what man is gonna want me after I done let this man beat on me for the last damn near twenty years?”

“Fuck these niggas! You thinking about getting another man when your pic-a-nigga meter is clearly flawed. First my ain’t shit daddy and now Noodle’s ain’t shit daddy. Work on yourself.” Siasia shook her mother, trying to shake some sense into her.

Tears brimmed Cynthia’s eyes; she hated that her daughter looked at her like a failure. It was a shame that her daughter had turned into the mother. “I know I don’t make you proud but I do love you. And I know you don’t understand it now but one day you will. One day, you will love a man so much that you lose all your God given sense.”

Turning up her nose, Siasia shook her head. “If that’s all love is, I don’t want it.” She went to leave the small kitchen and living room area. “And I paid the rent as well as all the bills in here. You’re welcome.”

It only took a few steps before she was in the room she shared with Noodle. It was clean but slightly disorganized because the space was small and they had a lot of things without enough storage space. Siasia kept it as clean as she could, making sure to stay on Noodle about cleaning up her mess as well. ‘Yanking the closet door open, Siasia eyed Noodle’s clothes, thinking about what she was going to put her on for the day. The weather was still nippy and winter was still terrorizing Lynn Beach. Thankfully, her school made uniforms mandatory which helped when it came to buying school clothes. Another aspect of their life that had been put on her as if she wasn’t just a young child a few years ago. Siasia didn’t mind though. She was willing to do anything for Noodle.

After she had Noodle’s clothes laid out on the bed, she searched for something for herself. She planned on going up to Lynn Beach University to enroll for the next semester. She had just enough money to do that as well as get the new camera lens she needed. Her gas tank had been filled up the other night and would last her another week, which left her with enough to pay her phone bill but they needed groceries and she liked to have a little money to the side in case Stacy came back from a gambling binge broke. With the weight of the world on her shoulders, her mind drifted to the night before where she felt free for the first time ever.

“One song that describes how you feel,” Noodle’s voice pulled her from Far Far Away Land.

Only one song came to mind. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she knew she could play it since they had WI-FI that they got for free because Noodle was enrolled in school. Mya’s My First Night With You played, almost bringing tears to eyes. How was it that a complete stranger brought her so much peace? One night with Qamar made living worth it again. Siasia would be thankful for that one night with him but that was all it could be. Anything outside of that would only end in a disaster.

“Cried my first tears of joy with you.” Noodle’s neck elongated as she tried her best to sound like Mya. There was potential; she just needed more training.

“What you know ‘bout that, lil girl?” Siasia twirled Noodle in a circle. “This is old even for me, so I know it was before your time.”

“You played it before.” Noodle laughed, loving small moments with her favorite person in the whole world. “I’m going to buy you everything in the world when I become famous.”

“I know you are, Noodle.”

“But when you get rich first, can I live with you?”

“I’ll always take you with me, Noodle.”

“Even if my real mama tries to get me back?” Noodle had been mentioning her birth mother more and more lately and alarmed Siasia.

Wrapping her arms around her, Siasia tried to assure Noodle that she would go to jail or hell about her. It didn’t matter to Siasia that Noodle wasn’t biologically her sister. Noodle was hers in her heart—she felt her in her soul. She’d burn the world down to keep her with her. It was the only way she could assure her baby was safe. The ten-year age gap made Noodle more like her child than just her stepsister.

“I’ll never let you go. Now, get dressed if we’re going to stop for breakfast.” Siasia concealed her tears. Thoughts of someone separating her from Noodle made her heart stall and her body shake with fear.

Once Siasia dropped Noodle off at school, she was headed to the college to sign up for the next semester. She didn’t stop to get her phone turned on because it wasn’t important. To play it safe, she wasn’t going to stay gone from the house too long since while she was there, she could connect her phone to the internet and have access to make and receive calls. Noodle’s teacher knew how to get in touch with her by using the Apple ID instead of phone number if ever the phone was disconnected.

A smile danced on her face whenever she graced the campus. It felt good—like she was supposed to be there. It meant more to her that she was going against all the odds stacked against her and making a way for herself. Based on her background, she wasn’t supposed to make it out. That kept her determined to do just that. After parking her car, Siasia tightened the strings around her jacket, hoping to shield herself from the heavy wind that seemed to be blowing with a vengeance. With Lynn Beach being on the water, it made the air cooler than some realized.

Dressed down in a pair of boyfriend jeans that cuffed her ass perfectly, she felt simple but beautiful. When it came to dressing, she had it down pat. Money wasn’t an issue because she could hook pieces up from the thrift shop and make them look designer. Money had been tight her whole life, which meant she had to learn style early or risk getting teased. It all worked in her favor. Now, she was a confident and sexy brown skin beauty. The boys went wild for her and she used it all to her benefit. With her head on a swivel, she looked both ways before crossing the street to get to the finance office. Her body warmed as soon she stepped over the threshold. Inside the admissions office, she located the window for finance and made her way over.

“Hey, Ms. Aaliyah,” Siasia smiled at the finance officer whom she was familiar with, having shot her daughter’s first birthday picture.

Taken aback, Ms. Aaliyah leaned her body back playfully. “Hey, Siasia! How have you been, baby?”

“Good. You?”

“Better now that I see your pretty face. I need to set something up for my engagement photoshoot.” Sticking out her left hand, she wiggled her ring finger.

Siasia yanked her hand towards her. “Congratulations, Ms. Aaliyah. You know I am there. Just let me know what you need and when.”

“Thank you, girl. I’m thinking within the next month but I will reach out and set something up with you. What can I help you with though?” Ms. Aaliyah asked, typing in her computer login since it logged her out after being inactive for over fifteen minutes.

---